I reclined in my seat and took a long breath.
Zenith waited patiently.
"Sorry about that," I finally said. "I just had a meeting with the princess today." I crossed my arms and stared up at the ceiling. "It didn't go well."
Zenith tilted her head. "I see, and is there anything in particular that went wrong?"
I shook my head. "No, not yet. The problem comes after. But it's fine, I'll manage. So, you still want to know about Lilith?"
Zenith nodded.
I closed my eyes and sighed. "I don't know all the details. But Darya wants to replace her brother, Ren. She's apparently listed Lilith's help for that venture." I opened my eyes and met Zenith's gaze. "However, Lilith plans to betray her and put me as head of the house."
Zenith gripped her chin. "And how do they intend to remove Ren in the first place?"
I shrugged. "Your guess is as good as mine. Though I think it has something to do with the deal I made with Lilith."
"You made a deal with Lilith?"
I nodded. "In exchange for maintaining a high grade, my page status and eventually graduating as an elite scholar, she promised to leave me alone. For the six years I stay here."
"Hmm, so that's it?" Zenith remarked as if something clicked.
"She intends to have you challenge Ren for his position. And Darya believes you'll then hand the position over to her."
Her voice lowered to a whisper. "Though, I doubt Darya is foolish enough to believe Lilith blindly. She must have a way to remove you too, but how? And why hasn't she used it on Ren already?"
Zenith's eyes went wide.
"Wait a minute, what's something she's willing to use against a stranger that she's not willing to use on her brother? Could she, there's no way she's found a way to… no, no."
I raised an eyebrow. "Is something wrong?"
Zenith quickly stood to her feet. "I've had my suspicions but this has likely confirmed them."
She marched toward my door and paused at the knob. She turned to me and looked slightly conflicted as if she was debating with herself.
Eventually, she just sighed and opened the door.
"Stay vigilant, Lafayette. And avoid suspicious characters."
With that, she was gone.
I sat at my table with a bewildered expression.
"What was that about?" I asked myself. Whatever Zenith put together must've spooked her out of her mind.
And I had to admit it was a little frightening. But I didn't have much information to go on.
Still, I doubt Lilith would let Darya harm me. Plus I have no intention of taking the head position anyway.
So there's that.
I stood up and made my way to the bathroom.
After a quick shower and a change of clothes, I sat on the living room couch.
There, I ate a sandwich while staring at nothing.
A fun pastime.
After a while, I heard the jingle of keys. I turned to see Jashen enter with a bag in one hand and her keys in the other.
She locked eyes with me instantly. "Why didn't you visit? I waited for you, you know?" She set her bag on our living room table and approached me.
I continued to eat my sandwich. "The day has been weird and my patience is thin. I just wanted a bit of alone time."
Jashen stood in front of me with her hands on her hips as her tail swayed.
"That's no reason to leave me in the darkness. I'll give you your space, but the least you can do is tell me where you are."
I frowned, "I don't owe you anything, alright? I'm allowed to be my own man. I just got screwed over by two other women, I don't need a third breathing down my neck."
I took another bite of my sandwich and crossed my legs.
"You women are all the same. Selfish, entitled, and bothersome. I just wanted a little peace and I can't even have that."
I began to mimic Melissa's voice. "Oh, I can't let you enjoy a bit of silence, Lord Lafayette. Allow me to stick my nose in your business."
Then I mimicked Zenith. "Lafayette, give me all the information you have on your mother. Then, I'll scare the shit out of you and disappear faster than I arrived with no explanations."
I pointed at Jashen. "And you. I put up with enough of your nonsense. I agreed with the kids, I agreed to die for you, I agreed to let you spend all my money and it's still not enough."
I stood up and stepped toward her.
"Now I have to tell you where I am? like I'm some kind of toddler?"
I raised my hands and pitched my voice. "I'm going home, mommy. I'm going home so that I don't flood the streets out of FRUSTRATION!"
Jashen stared at me in complete silence as I continued to rant. I knew I was making a fool of myself. I don't need anyone to point that out.
But I've gone too far now.
So if this is the end I'm going all the way.
"Let me tell you something else! I think you're too damn clingy. Every time I turn around you have some kind of new and weird request. And that's when you even ask."
I placed my hands over my chest. "It feels weird, man. And I'm already going through puberty, but I bet you couldn't tell."
I began to pace.
"That's because I keep it in my pants! I can control myself! It's what I've learned to do!"
I pointed at her again.
"But it's hard to do that when you're always sitting in my lap or rubbing against me. It makes me feel ashamed! I don't like it, I don't like my body moving in ways it shouldn't! And I don't like that you're the cause of it!"
I beat my fists against my chest as I caught my breath.
"I try so hard to stay independent. But I have to fight. I have to fight tooth and nail." I looked up at her. "And it's hard to fight you. Because I like how you make me feel. I hate that I like it."
I dropped my hands. "That's why, I try to keep my distance. Because when I don't? My body will answer for me."
I lowered my head in shame.
"And it's a yes every single time."
The room was very quiet after that.
Jashen hadn't moved much since my rant started. Her tail was still, like it always was when she took her time to think.
My heart pounded in my chest. I waited for the other shoe to drop.
For her to write me off and leave. I mean I deserve it. I just told her she gets me hard and I'm confused about it.
I'm such an idiot.
Jashen crossed the space between us and took my hands in hers. She looked down at me and squeezed my hands. She wasn't smiling, but she wasn't angry either.
She was just steady and patient.
Which somehow made this even worse.
"Lafayette." She called.
"What?"
"Don't feel ashamed, of anything, okay?"
I slowly raised my head but stayed silent.
"I know I'm clingy," she continued as she tilted her head. "I know I push your boundaries without asking. And I know my way of showing love can be, a lot…"
She chuckled softly. "I won't apologize for any of it. Because I can't change who I am. I love you, Lafayette. And I love touching you."
I stayed silent.
She let out a long breath. "I understand that you also need space. And I can respect that if you tell me."
She leaned close. "But you not telling me is not negotiable. I need to know so that I can have peace of mind. You're important to me."
I opened my mouth.
Then I closed it, because I didn't have anything to say.
Jashen released my hands and stepped back. She gave me space, a lot of space. And to be honest, that space felt a little painful.
"You're not mad?" I finally asked.
Jashen shrugged. "At what? You told me the truth and I listened." She placed her hands on her hips. "Besides, had you been nice about it then I'd have gotten angry. Because then I'd know you were hiding the truth."
I chuckled softly.
She had a point.
Jashen walked over and picked up her bag from earlier. She turned back to me with a smile.
"So, do you think it's possible I can sit in your lap and we share some pastries?"
I didn't say much. I just sat down and opened my hands. Jashen giggled as she skipped over and sat in my lap. "I had them coat some in honey, just like you enjoy."