'Now that's the proper way to wake up!'
Kevin's eyes snapped open and BAM. Heaven. Right there.
Two massively jiggly, juicy ass cheeks were swaying inches from his nose. He bolted upright, locking his gaze on the snow-white globes. A tiny, cute white panty was fighting for its life to hide the modesty, but the cheeks were winning.
'Hmmm... literal perfection,' Kevin thought, rubbing his chin like a wise sage of booty physics. 'I never thought I'd see it in real life. No pixels. Just pure mass.'
He squinted, analyzing the geometry. To attain ass cheeks literally that round and plumpy? That was hard work. You needed squats. You needed protein. You needed divine intervention to form those teardrop-shaped miracles.
"Fireball it! Quickly!"
The sweet-yet-dangerous voice of the Cheeks Owner screamed out. There were explosions happening. Probably monsters. Maybe a dragon.
Did Kevin give a damn?
Absolutely not.
