Bitna's POV
School was officially resuming on Monday, and I'd have to make up for all the days I skipped without fail. I had gone two weeks without going to school, two weeks recovering from my father's beating.
I was lying on my bed, staring blankly at the ceiling, my mind far away from home. Far away from the constant struggle. Just a few minutes of peace. But it seemed my mind had a mind of its own. Because before long, I was dragged back to the memory of the day before, so fresh that it felt like I was reliving it. What changed? I don't know. He suddenly went from my biggest nemesis to someone I couldn't stop thinking about. And that annoyed me. I turned onto my side and pulled the blanket over my head. "Forget it, Bitna." I had more important things to worry about. Like school. Like catching up on everything I'd missed. Like making sure nobody asked too many questions about where I'd been. And definitely not Jin. Especially not Jin. Yet somehow, he was the first person who came to mind. I sighed and finally got out of bed, taking a short shower since the hot water had run out a long time ago.
I got dressed slowly, barely paying attention to what I was doing. My mind kept wandering back to yesterday. Why he hugged me, why he suddenly seemed so vulnerable. I couldn't understand why I suddenly cared about what happened to him or why I thought he might have had it worse.
Jin and I had never related. I don't know who he is. If anything, we were constantly on bad terms. I was constantly scared while hiding it behind a stoic face. Every conversation somehow turned into a nightmare, and every time I saw him, I already prepared myself for whatever irritating comment he was going to make. But yesterday had been different. Seeing him like that had made something inside me shift. I didn't know what it was, and I wasn't sure I wanted to find out. Maybe it was pity. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe it was simply because I'd never imagined that someone like Jin could have problems of his own. Everyone at school saw him as confident, untouchable, and impossible to intimidate. I'd always thought he had everything figured out, that he had it all. Now, I still don't know what to think.
By Monday morning, I was standing in front of the school gates with my bag hanging loosely over one shoulder. Everything looked exactly the same. The students rushing through the entrance. The noisy conversations. The teachers walking around with their usual serious expressions. The familiar smell of the cafeteria drifting across the courtyard. Nothing had changed. Except me. Or maybe it was the way I looked at things now. I walked through the gate, keeping my eyes straight ahead. I didn't want to look for him. I wasn't looking for him. I was just—
I stopped.
There he was. Jin. He was standing near the staircase with just his friend beside him, looking completely normal. Too normal. His uniform was neat, his hair slightly messy like always, and his expression was as unreadable as ever. For a second, I almost wondered if yesterday had really happened. Then he turned his head. Our eyes met. My heart skipped. I immediately looked away. Why did I do that? I walked past him without saying anything.
"Bitna."
I froze. His voice. I slowly turned around.
"What?"
His eyes moved over me briefly before returning to my face. For a moment, I thought I saw worry etched on his face, but it was gone just as quickly, and a slight smirk now took its place.
"You came back."
I frowned. "Obviously."
He nodded once. "Good."
Good? That was it?
I stared at him, waiting for something else. But he simply turned away. I should have left. Instead, my eyes followed him. And that's when I saw it. A dark bruise peeking out from beneath the collar of his shirt. I stared. My stomach tightened. The memory of two days before came rushing back. Was that why he seemed so vulnerable?
I was brought back to the times I got that same treatment from my father, how bad it hurt, and how bad I felt when I had no one to help. I hadn't seen the aftermath. I didn't know what happened.
But now...
The bruise was there. Real.
I looked away quickly.
"Jin."
He stopped. I hesitated.
"Your..."
I couldn't finish.
He glanced at me. "My what?"
He almost growled.
I pointed awkwardly toward his neck. "That."
His fingers immediately moved toward the collar of his shirt. His expression changed. Only slightly. But I noticed. He gave me a look and turned to walk away.
I called out to him once more to offer him my balm but stopped when I saw the look in his eyes. I flinched when a loud voice suddenly hollered,
"What made you think you could play friends with me? You're just a pest caught up in a deal, so you better keep to yourself before I make you."
"Saturday didn't happen," he continued before walking away.
I slowly dropped my raised hand, which was holding the balm, tucking it back inside my bag. The bell rang before I could think more of it. Students began rushing toward their classrooms, forcing me to do the same, but with little enthusiasm as my morale was down for the day.
The first few classes were exhausting. I had missed too much. Notes were piled on my desk, assignments I'd never heard of were being discussed, and every teacher seemed determined to remind me that I had been absent. By the second period, I was already struggling to keep up. I tried my best to copy everything from the board, but my handwriting became messier with every passing minute. At one point, I looked over at Jin without meaning to. A pen balanced between his fingers as he spun it again and again. He looked completely normal again. I wondered how he could act like nothing had happened. How he could pretend everything was fine until everyone else believed it too.
By lunchtime, my head was pounding. I carried my books toward the library, hoping to find somewhere quiet. I opened the door and walked toward my favorite spot between two shelves, but as I got there, someone else had claimed it.
Jin.
He was standing alone, resting his back against a shelf, and instinctively, I turned around to leave. But I was stopped when a hand grabbed mine and pulled, drawing a slight gasp from my lips.
Jin.
My eyes went up to his, and I was suddenly reminded of Saturday once again. He brought his head down, and my breath hitched as he buried his nose in my neck, his hands finding their way around my waist. For a few seconds that felt like minutes, neither of us spoke. I tried to think of something else, but my mind kept drifting. I kept thinking of questions I couldn't find answers to. Why was he doing this? Why did he shut me out this morning?
I could feel his breath on me, the quiet but loud beating of his heart, his warm body close to mine.
Whatever spell had been conjured broke as soon as the door swung open, the sound loud enough to stop whatever was brewing. He pulled away sharply, making me stumble and hit my elbow. My face scrunched up in pain at this, and I held my arm gingerly. His eyes shot down to my arm in worry before he masked it again. His hand went to his pocket, and he pulled out some cash and dropped it on the shelf I was leaning on.
"Payment."
It was the short word that left his mouth before he turned around to leave.
I lowered my eyes back to the ground and let out a short, quiet laugh. I looked up at the money and picked it up. Call me petty and all, but I couldn't care less. He already considered me just that for him to pay me because of a hug.
"Whatever."
Silence returned. But this time, it felt... different. I was a few won richer.
I didn't understand it. Why, just why?
Congratulations to me. I walked out of the library with questions and now walked back to class with more questions. Bravo!
I packed my bags and filled them with books with a pounding headache. The bell had rung, signalling the end of the day's lessons, and yet my classes had not ended. I still had loads of assignments to finish. Just as I was done, I saw him.
Watching him disappear through the classroom door, I realized something had definitely changed. I just didn't know what. Maybe it was him. Maybe it was me. Or maybe it was the fact that, for the first time, I wasn't looking at Jin and seeing a nemesis. I was seeing a person. A person who was hurting. A person who was hiding. A person who, somehow, I wanted to understand. A person who reminded me of... me.
And that scared me more than I wanted to admit.
I picked up my bag and walked out of the classroom, but instead of heading straight for the school gate, I stopped near the staircase. I could see Jin in the distance, walking alone. For a moment, I just stood there, my eyes trained on him. I watched him disappear around the corner before finally turning toward the exit.
On the way home, I tried to convince myself that tomorrow would be different. I would go to school, catch up on my work, and mind my own business. I wouldn't worry about Jin. I wouldn't think about how confused he makes me. I wouldn't wonder if it would happen again. I wouldn't think about whether he was going to change again. I wouldn't think about the president and the fact that it's been weeks since his last calling.
I repeated those words in my head until I reached home, but somehow, they followed me inside.
That night, I lay in bed staring at the ceiling again. Only this time, the silence didn't feel peaceful. My mind was filled with questions I didn't have answers to. Why did I care? Why did seeing that bruise bother me so much? Why did I suddenly feel like there was something about Jin I needed to understand?
I turned onto my side and closed my eyes.
"He's still Jin," I whispered to myself. "Nothing has changed."
But even as I said it, I knew I was lying.
Something had changed.
I just wasn't ready to admit what it was.