"Ahhh!!"
A loud scream came from the bathroom side. Saiki Kusuo recognized the voice as soon as he heard it—it was from that version of Bear Two, Sakamoto Yuuji.
"What's going on? Whose scream was that!!"
Yoshii Akihisa turned around in surprise and asked Saiki.
[Who else could it be? Besides Yuuji, who else? He just went to the bathroom earlier.]
"Oh, it's Yuuji. Then it's fine, let's keep playing! Don't mind it, don't mind it…"
After understanding that the惨叫 came from Yuuji, Yoshii Akihisa relaxed and went back to burying his head in the game, completely unbothered.
(You should at least care a little!)
Sakamoto Yuuji came running out wrapped in a towel.
"Hey!! Akihisa, what's the deal? Why is it cold water!"
When Yoshii Akihisa saw Sakamoto Yuuji run out wrapped in a towel, he knew what had happened. Then he spoke calmly with a smile: "Oh, that. I forgot to remind you—the gas has been cut off, so watch out."
Sakamoto Yuuji gritted his teeth: "It's already too late!! Why didn't you say so earlier?"
Yoshii Akihisa continued: "When washing with cold water, start from the tips of your toes and fingers that are farthest from the heart first!"
"I'm not asking you for tips on how to wash with cold water! You bastard, you're just so annoying like that, right, Saiki?"
[Don't drag me into this. Anyway, washing with cold water in summer should be fine, no?]
"But it depends on the situation! It's not that hot today, and my body is already used to starting with warm water."
(What a hassle.)
Seeing Sakamoto Yuuji so worked up, Yoshii Akihisa kindly suggested: "Don't get so worked up. Since you're already taking a cold shower, just use it to cool down."
"I got this worked up precisely because of the cold shower."
Sakamoto Yuuji held his forehead, his face darkening, and said to Saiki Kusuo: "No good, I need to calm down. It's not working. Saiki, my head hurts—help me grab an iced drink from the fridge."
[Seriously, getting so agitated in the middle of summer.]
Saiki walked to the fridge and opened it. Inside, there was basically nothing except one ice pack.
[There aren't any iced drinks in the fridge, just this ice pack. Take it and cool off.]
Saiki picked up the ice pack and tossed it toward Sakamoto Yuuji. Sakamoto Yuuji caught it casually, placed it on his forehead, and complained:
"What the heck? Not even an iced drink? Akihisa, what exactly are you doing! Didn't you get some money?"
"I did get money, but I used it to buy other games, and I spent some on online shopping for ingredients that haven't arrived yet. The rest is set aside for electricity and gas bills."
[This lifestyle isn't much better than before.]
"By the way, I told Yuuji to buy some edible stuff before coming. Yuuji, where are the things!"
Sakamoto Yuuji: "You called me over just to deliver ingredients to you!"
"No way."
Sakamoto Yuuji went to the plastic bag he'd brought, took out two bottles of cola, opened them, started preparing instant noodles, and even thoughtfully asked Saiki Kusuo:
"Saiki, there's one more pack of instant noodles. Want some?"
[No thanks, I'm not hungry. Not planning to eat anything.]
Sakamoto Yuuji nodded: "Mm, alright then. I'll just eat both packs."
"Wait a second, Yuuji, why are you only asking Saiki? What about me? Are you planning to make me eat chopsticks?"
"If you want to eat chopsticks, I have no objections."
Sakamoto Yuuji sat on the stool boiling water, casually pointed at the salad oil and white sugar in Akihisa's kitchen, and said: "Don't you have those at home? Just eat them."
(This stuff isn't filling at all.)
Yoshii Akihisa: "Those can provide calories, sure, but right now I don't want to eat them!"
(So that's what you usually eat.)
"Seriously! What a pain."
Sakamoto Yuuji casually pulled out diet cola, konjac jelly, and agar jelly from the bag.
(These are all zero-calorie things.)
"There's basically no calories in these! How am I supposed to eat this!"
"This is all out of consideration to prevent you from getting metabolic syndrome!"
Yoshii Akihisa: "I don't need you worrying about me, I'm perfectly fine, okay?"
Sakamoto Yuuji picked up the salad oil and a bag of white sugar: "You're basically just taking in sugar and fat!"
"I'm just using them, that's all."
(So yeah, this stuff isn't meant for normal meals.)
"I'm pissed."
Yoshii Akihisa's art style suddenly shifted—he put on a serious face and stared intently at Sakamoto Yuuji.
"What, you wanna fight?!"
Sakamoto Yuuji refused to back down and joined the sudden art-style change lineup.
"Yeah, that's right. Come on, I've been thinking we'd have to settle this someday anyway!"
"Fine by me. Bring it on."
(Do we really need to go this far just over sugar and calories?)
Sakamoto Yuuji and Yoshii Akihisa both picked up the cola bottles on the table and faced off.
The two of them were like gunslingers in a Western standoff—the atmosphere grew heavy. They stayed locked like that until a single drop of water fell in the kitchen, and both simultaneously shook the cola in their hands.
The next second—
"Psssh!!"
The cola they'd been shaking sprayed out at the same time, hitting each other square in their wide-open eyes.
"Ah!! My eyes, my eyes!"
"Ow!!! Ow…"
The two of them collapsed on the floor, clutching their eyes tightly and rolling around in place.
"Hahaha, not bad. But I'm not giving up."
"Oh yeah? Then let's go again."
Saiki Kusuo watched the whole thing expressionlessly. Under the sunlight, his glasses completely hid his eyes.
(What a couple of idiots. I'm heading out first.)
Saiki quietly slipped away, leaving the battlefield to the two of them.
...
Saiki sat on the sofa, checked the time, then opened the game and looked at the packaging.
[Chaotic World —the name's pretty decent. Wonder what the content's like… hm… wait.]
Saiki took off his glasses, rubbed his eyes, put them back on, and looked carefully. It turned out it wasn't Mixed Chaos World—it was Chaotic World.
Saiki's mouth twitched.
[At first I thought it was some knockoff of World of Warcraft, but whatever. The name doesn't matter—what matters is the content.]
Saiki calmed himself down, connected the game to the screen, picked up the mouse, and clicked in.
Right after clicking in, an ink-style background appeared on screen, along with stick-figure-like "people." One was riding a worm, and a super-fast narrator voice kicked in.
[Chaotic World, year 2014. The peaceful and quiet human world was brutally invaded by ferocious magical beasts. A savior emerged—a young boy set out on a journey to save the world…]
On screen appeared a stick-figure boy with sharp white eyes, holding a stone staff.
[As expected, but I didn't think the art style would be this ugly. This is the classic bait-and-switch between promo art and actual game, huh. Whatever, no need to nitpick—but this opening is way too long and stinky. Let's skip it.]
Saiki pressed a few buttons, but couldn't find a skip key. He ended up mashing every button—turns out the opening couldn't be skipped.
[So it really came to this? That standard super-long, unskippable, stinky opening in these games.]
Saiki forced himself to sit through the three-minute mess—barely understandable, chaotic, fast-talking, drawn-out opening.
[Finally done with the opening.]
Saiki clicked the only start button. The game began…