49. "GOOD ENOUGH REASONS"
What if there was a picnic on a green grass, under a tall tree and a bucket of food, juice and snacks, would that be enough dedication? What I wanna have is far from my reach, it's probably never gonna be mine ever again and maybe I should be getting under somebody else but instead, I'm in here tryna cure this sickness called "First Love".
What if there was a way for me to leave my love letters written all over the moon for her, would that be good enough reason for her to breathe her love back into my heart and bring me back to love?
Two years ago, we couldn't get enough of each other, she'd always find peace in my embrace, we were having talks about making this love a forever thing and now I can't even get a moment of her time. I don't blame her, it's been a year since she was laying in my arms, normal people move on from the past like she has but I'm still trying to do so.
What if there was a knock on her door and it was me on the doorstep, would that be good enough reason to hear me out? What if the universe proved to her that she's actually meant to be with Theodore, would that be good enough reason for her to breathe her love back into my heart and bring me back to love?
50. "NOTHING CHANGES"
I can write hundred books about this damn heartbreak, I can write about how it had me messed up in the head for two years, I can write about her more but that shit won't change anything.
Don't know what I did wrong for things to be this fucked up, everybody's heart gets broken by somebody every once in while, so I don't know why this is becoming the ruin of me. It's like my head, body, heart and soul is dancing in the flames with the devil.
I can't have good days and good nights, I can't be good to anybody, all I bring is bad news and toxic shit, I thought I would've turned the corner by this time but this shit still has a hold on me.
I can write about the heartbreak but nothing changes.