Pepper and Tony sat wrapped in soft blankets, their gazes fixed on the dancing flames in the fireplace. Natasha had quietly placed steaming mugs of hot rum punch on the coffee table before them to help them soothe their inner turmoil. Harry, Natasha, and the Bartons sat nearby. They gave Tony and Pepper the time and space they needed, refraining from questions or prying into what had happened.
Pepper was the one to break the silence, having calmed down a little. "We were sleeping when Tony started having a nightmare," she began, her hands wrapped tightly around her mug. "At first, I thought it was just the usual tossing and turning. I tried to wake him up, but then it happened."
Pepper's expression tightened as she recounted the moment. "Before I knew it, something grabbed me hard and shoved me off the bed. I didn't even realize what it was until I saw it standing there."
Tony glanced away, guilt etched into his features. "I must've called the suit in my sleep," he interjected apologetically. "That's not supposed to happen."
"But it did," Pepper snapped. "And it scared the hell out of me, Tony." She exhaled shakily, her hands trembling slightly as she placed her mug back on the table.
"I am used to Tony wearing the Iron Man suits in the house. But when the suit grabbed me, it was different. It was cold, unfeeling, and ready to attack." The rest of the words died down in her throat.
The room fell quiet again as the gravity of her silence settled over everyone. Natasha and Clint exchanged uneasy glances, while Harry's expression darkened.
"What was the nightmare about, Tony?" Harry asked softly.
Tony sighed, his shoulders slumping as he stared into the flickering flames of the fireplace. "New York," he admitted. "The army, Loki, the nuke." His voice faltered for a moment before he continued. "I keep reliving it and worrying about what next."
Harry's expression didn't waver, but his tone carried a tinge of concern. "How often is this happening?"
Tony hesitated, running a hand through his hair as if trying to brush away the memories. "A while," he confessed. "I didn't say anything because... well, what's the point? Nothing's been the same since New York. You see things, things that break everything you thought you knew about the world, and then you're just expected to go back to normal, like it never happened."
He glanced around the room, his gaze briefly meeting Pepper's before settling back on the fire. "Gods, aliens, wormholes in the atmosphere, I mean, I built a suit of armour, Harry. That was supposed to be the peak of what I could do. But out there?" He gestured vaguely, his hand trembling slightly. "Out there, I'm just a man in a can. A tin soldier playing at being a hero while the universe laughs at how small I really am."
"But we won, Tony," Natasha said firmly. "And not just won, we saved the world. This was as black-and-white as it gets. An army against all of humanity. No blurred lines, no compromises. It was them or us."
Tony shook his head, his frustration bubbling to the surface. "Maybe it's black-and-white for you. For me? This isn't normal. Terrorists, weapons deals, corrupt businessmen, that's my battlefield. Fighting an alien invasion? That's a whole different universe, literally. Everyone else, was trained for war. Even Bruce has his Jekyll-and-Hyde thing. But me? I'm just a guy who made a fancy suit of armor. I'm not built for war."
"You think it's easy for us?" Clint interjected. "New York messed me up in ways I didn't even know were possible. I see threats everywhere now, behind every door, in every shadow. And I'm terrified that one day I'll snap. That I'll start seeing enemies where there aren't any and..." He trailed off, his hand trembling slightly as Laura reached out, intertwining her fingers with his in a grounding gesture.
Natasha nodded in agreement. "We're trained killers, Tony. But every life we take weighs on us. It's not something you just get over. You learn to carry it, sure, but it never leaves you. That said, fighting aliens? This was the first time in a long time that I felt like I was using my skills for something purely good. No compromises, no ulterior motives. Killing them didn't feel like a burden. It felt like protecting what matters most."
She glanced at the fire, her voice softening. "This was the only battle I've ever fought where I didn't feel the guilt gnawing at me afterwards. Because there was no grey area, no 'what-ifs.' It was us or them. If we hadn't won, humanity would've been wiped out."
Tony looked at Clint, then Natasha, and finally down at his own hands, as if trying to make sense of the weight he'd been carrying.
"This isn't just about the battle," Tony said finally voicing what is actually troubling him. "It's not about New York, or the aliens, or even the Chitauri. It's the next one. The next extinction-level threat that's lurking out there, just waiting to hit us. And this time... what if I can't stop it? What if I can't protect the people who matter most?"
He glanced at Pepper, his expression softening as he addressed her directly. "The only reason I haven't completely cracked is because you're here. Because you moved in and gave me something to hold onto." His lips twitched in a faint, rueful smile. "Which is great, and I love you, and I'm so damn lucky to have you in my life."
But then his voice dropped, heavy with guilt and frustration. "But, honey I can't sleep. Not really. Not without seeing it, space, the nuke, the army. When you go to bed, I go down to the workshop. I tinker. I build. I do the only thing I know how to do. So that I can get ahead of whatever's coming next."
He turned back to the group, his gaze distant as if he were looking at a threat only he could see. "The suits, they're my way of staying in the fight, of trying to be ready for something I know I can't fully prepare for. Because the truth is, the one thing I can't live without, the one thing I can't risk losing..."
Tony's voice faltered, and he looked at Pepper again, his vulnerability on full display. "That's you, Pep. And I'm terrified. Every second, every day, I'm terrified that I'm going to fail you. That when the next big threat comes, my suits won't be enough. I won't be enough."
He exhaled shakily, rubbing his hands over his face as if trying to physically push the weight off his shoulders. "So yeah, I tinker. I build. Because that's the only way I know how to keep you safe. And if I stop, even for a second, that fear is going to swallow me whole."
"Tony, you need professional help," Pepper said firmly.
Tony shook his head. "I'm not going to a shrink, Pepper. I dealt with Afghanistan. I handled the blood toxicity. I didn't need therapy to get through it. I'm not about to let New York control me. I'll deal with this my way."
Natasha scoffed at Tony's objection. "Yeah, you 'dealt with it' alright. If it wasn't for Harry having your back, you'd still be a raging alcoholic spiralling out of control."
Tony's head snapped toward her. "And who the hell gave you the right to sit there and judge me?" he fired back, his voice rising with every word. "At least I face my problems. When terrorists threw me into a cave, I built my way out, piece by piece, with nothing but my hands and scraps. When my own invention was poisoning me, killing me slowly, I didn't lie down and wait for the end. I fought for a cure, even when it meant dragging myself to the brink. And yeah, maybe I spiralled, but I never ran."
He stood now, his voice trembling. "What did you do when things got tough, huh? When it came to sorting things out with Harry. The person that you claimed to love? You didn't stand and fight. You didn't even try. You bolted. Ran away so fast you left skid marks. And don't give me that 'it was for the best' crap, because it wasn't. It was cowardice, plain and simple. At least I've never bailed on the people who mattered most to me."
"Tony," Pepper interjected, warning him to be careful what he said. Harry, too, was going to interject, but Natasha signalled to him that she was okay with this.
"What?!" Tony snapped, turning his frustration toward her for the briefest moment before redirecting it back to Natasha. "You know I'm right about this, Pepper. Don't even try to stop me. You've got harsher words for her than I do, I'm sure. I've kept my mouth shut long enough. When they got engaged, I didn't want to ruin the mood or be the guy who soured the happiest moment of Harry's life. So I bit my tongue and pretended like I didn't see it. But now?" He gestured toward Natasha with a sharp wave of his hand. "Now, I'm done pretending."
His voice climbed as the anger boiled over. "All this magical soulmate crap? I don't get it, and honestly, I don't care to. What I do get is that you—" he jabbed a finger in Natasha's direction, "—are the last person who deserves to stand by Harry's side, let alone spend the rest of your life with him. You don't even deserve to breathe the same air as him after what you pulled."
Natasha's expression remained neutral, as Tony continued. "A Selfish and Manipulative Bitch. That's what you are. You took the one good, pure thing in your goddamn life and threw it away the second it didn't fit into your little spy games. And don't you dare tell me it was for his sake. You didn't do it to protect him. You did it because it was easier for you. You ran, and you left him broken, while you skulked away like a coward."
He took a deep breath, his chest heaving. "So yeah, call me whatever you want, but at least I don't destroy the people I love. And I sure as hell don't get to waltz back in and act like nothing happened."
Clint tensed beside her, his jaw tightening as he prepared to leap to her defense. But Natasha gently placed a hand on his arm, stopping him. "Let him speak, Clint. He's right—I deserve his criticism."
She turned to Tony. "What you're saying isn't wrong. I did leave Harry. I thought it was the right thing to do, that it would protect him from me and everything I brought with me. I convinced myself I was doing it for him, but looking back, I know now it was cowardice. I was running from my own fears, my own insecurities, from the idea that I could never truly be good enough for someone like Harry."
Her voice softened. "And you're right again. I have no right to stand next to him, let alone dream of spending the rest of my life with him. But I know now what a mistake that was, and I won't run from it anymore. I'm here because I've realized that Harry isn't just someone to love. He's someone who deserves to be fought for."
Her blue eyes shone, though she refused to let tears fall. "I'm not asking for forgiveness, Tony. I'm asking for the chance to earn it. Every day, I wake up knowing I have to prove to myself and to Harry that I'm worthy of him. Not just by standing by his side but by being someone who will never run from him again."
She paused, exhaling a deep, shaky breath. "If it weren't for the invasion, I don't know if I ever would have realized how much of a fool I'd been. I almost lost everything because of my fear. But now? I won't take him or the life we've started building for granted. Not ever again."
"All right, that's enough," Harry interjected. "The kids are sleeping upstairs, and I don't want your voices to wake them up."
Laura raised an eyebrow, looking at Harry with mild amusement. "Didn't you spell their room so they wouldn't hear anything even if the house fell down?"
Harry crossed his arms and shot her a mock glare. "Yes, but Tony didn't need to know that."
The room erupted in soft laughter as the tension eased like air escaping a balloon. Even Tony cracked a half-smile despite himself.
Harry waited for the laughter to die down before stepping closer to Tony. "Listen, Tony. You might think that because we were in the army or trained for combat, we're immune to this stuff. That we just shrug it off and keep going. But that's not how it works. Every one of us here has carried the weight of what we've seen and done. It doesn't matter how tough we are; it stays with you."
"Tony, you're not alone in this," Laura said gently. "Every single person in this room has their own demons. Natasha carries the guilt of every life she's ever taken, no matter how justified. Clint? He's constantly on edge, always seeing threats in every shadow, convinced something or someone is coming to take him out. And Harry…" She glanced at Harry with a mixture of affection and sadness. "Harry carries the weight of all the lives he couldn't save, even when it wasn't his fault."
Laura leaned forward slightly, her tone softening as she continued. "We all have fears, Tony. Different ones, unique to each of us. But fear is universal. What matters is how we choose to face it and the ways we cope with the stress and anxiety it leaves behind."
She gestured toward Natasha. "Natasha deals with hers by rationalizing every action she takes, by finding ways to prove to herself that she can use her skills to make a difference. To balance the scales."
Turning to Clint, she offered a small smile. "Clint channels his paranoia into his archery. He sharpens his focus until it blocks out everything else."
Finally, she looked at Harry. "And Harry? Well, he copes by… being Harry."
"Hey!" Harry interjected, feigning indignation.
Laura raised a brow and smirked. "Am I wrong?"
"She's not," Pepper chimed in with a knowing smile. "You kind of just throw yourself at problems until they're fixed, Harry."
Harry sighed, shaking his head. "I feel very attacked right now."
The group chuckled, the levity momentarily breaking through the heaviness in the room.
Harry leaned forward slightly, his tone softening. "What you're feeling? It's not a weakness, and it doesn't make you any less of the genius, billionaire, ex-playboy, philanthropist we all know and tolerate." The corner of his mouth quirked into a smirk, earning another light chuckle from the room. "The point is, Tony, why do you work on building your suits when you can't sleep?"
Tony sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Because it's the only thing I know how to protect Pepper," he replied earnestly.
Harry tilted his head, a soft but firm look on his face. "That's what you think it's doing, Tony. But in reality, it's a distraction."
"It's not a distraction," Tony shot back defensively.
"It is a distraction," Clint cut in. "And that's not a bad thing, Tony. Building those suits might be keeping you sane right now. It's how you're focusing all the chaos in your head into something tangible."
Tony opened his mouth to argue, but Pepper placed a gentle hand on his arm. "Clint's right," she said softly. "We all need something to ground us, to help us channel our stress into something constructive. For you, it's building things. It always has been."
Natasha nodded. "Distractions aren't inherently bad. Sometimes they're the only thing that keeps us moving forward. But they can't be the only thing. At some point, you've got to confront the core of what's eating at you."
Harry leaned forward, his gaze steady. "Your suits are a tool, Tony, not a crutch. You've been using them as both, and that's where the problem lies. But you can make them part of the solution, not just for you, but for everyone. It's what you're best at."
Tony looked around the room, seeing the sincerity in their faces. For once, he didn't push back. "So what do you suggest I do?" he asked, his voice quieter now.
"Alright, here's the plan," Harry said, clapping his hands together. "Once Bruce is back from his little self-discovery trip, you're going to sit down with him and learn meditation. Trust me, the guy knows how to stay zen even when he's always angry." Harry made an exaggerated motion of a hulking figure, earning a chuckle from the room.
"And," he continued, looking around at the group, "starting with the next Avengers monthly meeting, we're dedicating some time to talk about adapting to trauma."
Laura raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "Wait, you're turning Avengers meetings into group therapy sessions now?"
"Yes," Harry replied with mock seriousness, nodding vigorously. "Superheroes Anonymous. Hi, my name's Harry, and I've got a crippling saviour complex."
That earned a round of laughter from everyone, even Tony cracking a reluctant grin.
"And you," Harry said, pointing at Tony, "no more building Iron Man suits just to tinker. If you need to keep those hands busy, put them to work on something new. That is either new designs for Stark Industries or tools and gadgets the Avengers can use. No excuses."
"Whatever you say, Boss," Tony replied with a mock salute, a hint of his trademark smirk creeping back into his expression.
Clint leaned back in his chair, a curious glint in his eye. "You know, I've always wondered, why'd you make Harry the chairman of Stark Industries?"
Pepper rolled her eyes dramatically. "Because Tony didn't want to deal with the actual work of being chairman, obviously."
"That's not entirely true!" Tony protested, though his grin betrayed him. "I also didn't want to spend my days sitting in boardrooms with people who couldn't invent a paperclip, much less revolutionize an industry. Besides, Harry's...Harry."
Pepper raised a knowing eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. "Uh-huh. Convenient excuse."
Clint chuckled. "So basically, you dumped the job on him."
"Hey, I'm a delegator! It's a skill," Tony shot back, raising his glass in mock self-congratulation.
Tony leaned forward, setting his glass down as his smirk softened. "Okay, yeah, the board seat was a practical decision. With the stock prices tanking for all sorts of reasons—shutting down the weapons division, Obie's death, me spiralling out of control, the disaster at the Stark Expo—it made sense. Harry had been quietly accumulating shares over time, buying out any significant shareholder willing to sell. By the time the dust settled, he was the second-largest shareholder after me. Giving him a seat on the board wasn't just logical; it was inevitable."
"Fair enough," Laura said with a small nod. "But why chairman? That's more than just a board seat. Why hand him the reins?"
Tony leaned back, his gaze drifting toward Harry. For once, there was no sarcasm or bravado in his tone, just sincerity. "Because it was always meant to be him. When I thought I was dying from palladium poisoning, my will had it all laid out. Harry would be chairman, and Pepper would take over as CEO. It wasn't some impulsive decision; it was the right one."
Pepper blinked, her expression softening. "Tony..."
Tony smiled faintly but kept his focus on Harry. "Even before Afghanistan, Harry was pushing me to rethink what Stark Industries could be. Not just about building weapons or making profits, but about actually making a difference. He saw potential where I saw problems. And after everything that's happened… look, I'm good at building machines, but Harry? He's good at building people. He inspires them, and makes them believe they can be better. Hell, he made me believe I could be better. "
The room fell silent for a moment as everyone absorbed Tony's words.
"And let's not forget," Tony continued, his voice a bit lighter now, "this guy practically assembled the Avengers before Fury even knew what to do with us. If it weren't for him, we wouldn't have stood a chance against Loki's army. So yeah, if anyone's going to steer Stark Industries toward a better future, it's him. Me? I'd just get bored in a boardroom. Harry? He'd turn it into something extraordinary."
"Had it not been for his trip to Asgard," Tony added with a chuckle, "he'd have been chairman right after the whole Hammer-droids and Vanko fiasco. But hey, better late than never."
The light-hearted atmosphere was cut short by the sudden ringing of Tony's phone. He frowned and pulled it from his pocket, answering with his usual tone. "This is Tony Stark."
The room quieted as everyone instinctively tuned in, watching Tony's face shift from neutral to deeply concerned. His grip on the phone tightened as his posture stiffened. "Yeah...yeah, I understand. Thank you for letting me know." His voice was quieter now, clipped, as though forcing the words out. "I'll be there as soon as I can."
Tony ended the call and slowly lowered the phone, his expression grim.
"What is it?" Pepper asked, her voice laced with worry.
Tony took a deep breath, struggling to keep his emotions in check. "There was an explosion in the Chinese Theatre," he began. "Happy was there. He's in the hospital...and they're saying..." He trailed off, the words catching in his throat.
Pepper moved closer, her hand resting on his arm as he finished, "They're saying he might not make it."
Author's Note for Chapter 68:
We finally have that Tony vs Nat conversation regarding the breakup and the explanation to why Harry got to be chairman of the board for Stark Industries. I wanted to add the reveal for the Avengers tower too in these past few chapters, but decided to shift it to the epilogue instead. It would have been a lot of talking. I feel so mixed about these past few chapters. Don't get me wrong, I have enjoyed writing every word in them, but somehow, having to set up everything again felt so laborious. Not being able to jump into the main storyline kept me itching to progress faster. But I know how important these slower-paced chapters are for the story to flesh out the characters and the relationships.
With only one subscription tier for $5, you get complete access to the library and up to chapter 189 of this story. So, if you want to read ahead, check out my P.A.T.R.E.O.N @Bivz643.