Well. This was bad.
Kate stood in her room like a statue while the Dodo at her feet rubbed against her leg, trying to butter her up.
"Fluffball," she said, smiling calmly, "no snacks for you this week. Actually, make that this month."
The words had barely left her mouth when a certain blonde young lady, crouching in front of her, gave a soft huff and pulled Fluffball behind her. "Fine, then I'll feed it snacks myself!"
Yes. Delar was in her room again.
And the reason, of course, was one Dodo who went soft the moment someone else fed it.
The whole thing had been simple. While the two of them were still glaring at each other outside the Common Room, Fluffball had sensed its owner coming back and, in a burst of excitement, teleported over from the dormitory.
Then it had whisked away Delar, who'd just declared she would cover its snacks for a week and had pulled off her mask on the spot, and left its owner behind.
Kate was stunned for a moment before she realized where the two of them had gone. She dashed into the dormitory and found Delar already crouched on the floor, feeding Fluffball snacks.
"Ungrateful little traitor!" Kate grabbed it by the neck, stuffed it into Delar's arms, and sat down on her bed, sulking in speechless indignation.
Delar stood up with it in her arms. "Don't say that about it. Look, isn't it apologizing to you right now?"
"Since when do you speak bird?" Kate asked with a kindly smile.
"I don't." Delar was lost for words, and then she watched Kate roll her eyes with perfect ease.
It was just wrong. How could anyone look this good even rolling their eyes?
Her heart thudded as if a fawn were ramming itself against it again and again, and when the fawn grew tired, it raised a tear-filled face and asked, "Can this door ever be opened or not?"
Delar swallowed. It was a dark, windy night, and there was nobody in the room but the two of them. Oh, except the bird, which didn't count.
An undisturbed moment like this was exactly right for letting the little deer in her chest take another run at the door.
She set Fluffball aside and edged toward Kate, hesitant. "I have a question for you."
Kate instinctively sidestepped her approach, walked to the desk, and picked up a cup to pour herself some water. "Ask."
Delar had followed her all the way here. Refusing to answer probably wasn't an option.
A flush crept over Delar's pale little face. "Kate, do you… like girls?"
"Pfft!" The water in Kate's mouth sprayed onto the floor. She bent over, coughing violently several times, and by the time she looked up again, utterly bewildered, her face was red.
"Do you know what you're saying?" she managed, covering her mouth, her eyes red and watering from the water that had gone down the wrong way.
Was this really the same Malfoy who turned prickly and proud the moment anyone got close?
Why did it feel like she'd been replaced overnight?
"I do," Delar said, gently patting her back, her wide eyes full of innocence. "If you think it's private, then I'll tell you: I like girls."
Kate's face twisted for a moment, and she simply lowered her head and went back to coughing.
But Delar didn't let her off. She kept talking. "Not long after I was born, my older brother caught a high fever that couldn't be cured, and he died.
"My mother was heartbroken. Her Spirit adrift with grief, she mistook me for my brother. For her sake, my father had no choice but to raise me as a son too. He said that way the family wouldn't have to worry about succession later on.
"So in the future, I might marry a wife, take over my father's position, and become the next Head of the House of Malfoy."
Kate forgot to even fake her coughing. She looked up in astonishment. "You'd marry a wife? But with two girls, how could you have children?"
"There are Potions in the magical world for that," Delar said, blinking. "Even for the same sex, as long as one of them is willing, they can have descendants."
Right. Magic really was unfathomable.
Kate backed away a few steps, speechless, and tried to steady her breathing. "And what about you? Are you willing to live like that?"
"I don't know," Delar said, lowering her head. "If that's going to be my life, then at least I want to be able to choose someone I like enough."
As if sensing what she was about to say next, Kate immediately clapped a hand over her mouth. "Stop. I don't want to hear it."
Delar froze, and the light in her pale gray eyes slowly dimmed.
The little fawn in her chest, the one that always ran at the wrong door, began to stumble. Little by little, it couldn't run anymore.
Kate slowly loosened her hand. Seeing Delar so lost, she wanted to say something comforting, but her lips moved for a long while without a single word coming out.
Did that count as… turning her down?
She felt uneasy, especially after hearing a backstory that belonged only to Delar, and she hesitated all the more.
Deep down, she did feel tenderness for this seemingly arrogant little girl who was in truth so lost about her future, didn't she?
She swallowed hard and opened her mouth, still intending to say something kind. Before she could, the girl who'd been looking down all this time threw herself forward.
It was an embrace unlike any Kate had ever received.
Warm, yet carrying some unnamed feeling inside it, and even a little damp.
She was crying.
The realization came late to Kate. Her hands hung stiff in midair, and she didn't know whether she should hold this trembling girl in return.
It must have taken a great deal of courage for someone as guarded as Delar to do what she'd done today.
But not liking someone was simply not liking them.
In three years at school, she had felt her heart stir for Hermione, and for Cho Chang too. But for Delar, a girl whose true gender she'd known since first year, she'd never felt the slightest flutter.
In matters of the heart, even though she was already an adult, she still followed the simplest rule.
Someone who makes your heart stir isn't necessarily someone you must be with.
But someone who never makes it stir will certainly never be with you.
Otherwise, even if you forced yourself together, one side would grow bitter over the other's unequal devotion, and in the end you'd part anyway.
So tenderness alone wasn't enough.
Even if she could ignore their ages, even if she could ignore the fact that this girl was crying in her arms, no flutter meant no love.
"I'm sorry…"
The apology had barely left her lips when Delar shoved her away.
Kate stared helplessly at Delar, who kept wiping at her eyes, and moved to step forward, but Delar held up a hand to stop her.
"Don't!" Delar shouted at her, her voice thick with tears. "I did everything I could, and so did you.
"So… after I graduate, I'll follow my family's arrangements and marry a wife who's willing to accept me. And when that day comes, I'll send you an invitation!"
With that, she opened the door and ran out.
"Delar!" Kate started after her, but her steps grew slower and slower.
Even if she caught up, she still couldn't comfort her. Better to leave it like this, sleep it off, and pretend tomorrow that nothing had happened.
She walked heavily to the door and closed it softly. When she looked down, Fluffball was nuzzling her ankle affectionately.
She reached down and rubbed its big head, and for once Kate felt a little short of breath.
Almost without thinking, she tugged at her collar and slowly sank to the floor. Then, as if something had suddenly come back to her, she asked Fluffball, "What did she just say?"
Fluffball tilted its head.
"She said she'd marry a wife. And that she'd send me an invitation."
Her breathing grew even harder. Frazzled, Kate pushed Fluffball aside and tried to force her mind to settle.
But no matter how hard she tried, the lump of flesh in her chest kept pounding wildly out of control, thudding against her ribs with a faint, hidden ache.
Why was this happening?
She looked at Fluffball, and for a moment she seemed to see Delar crouching in front of it, smiling brightly as she fed it.
But that same Delar had said she would marry a wife, and send her an invitation.
A wife. An invitation.
Her mind kept conjuring pictures of that future. She stood in the crowd among the other guests, watching Delar in a boy's suit lead a bride past her.
Her fingers dug into her palm until they turned blue-white. Kate breathed with all her strength, trying to throw the image out of her head.
But the heart still pounding in her chest was telling her not to waste the effort.
The moment she threw herself into your arms and cried, you'd already fallen for her. Hadn't you?
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