I look exactly like Majin Buu, just more Haitian.
I'm wearing golden boots with matching golden gloves, these white
puffy pants, a sick belt with an M on it, a blue cloak that comes with a hood, and a headset.
I look so different, it genuinely makes me uneasy. It's gonna take time to get used to this extra weight.
I feel like my body is the result of all the sins I've committed in my past two lives, god's way to punish me.
I sit down on the uncomfortable rocks, staring into the beautiful night sky as I contemplate what to do next.
"I've fucked up for the last time."
I feel an ever-growing determination envelop my soul and body, but today is not the day to put it into action.
The night makes my eyes feel heavy, and I fall asleep like a rock among the other rocks.
THE NEXT DAY
I've already gone through so many emotions, but I can't take a break now.
I stand up, looking at the sunrise.
It's all so beautiful.
Until I felt something burning on my neck, not even a second later, my neck had lost all sensation.
"FUUUUUUCKKKKKK!!!!"
A small fireball burnt my fucking neck. I look back to see where it came from. I see two 7-foot-tall figures, both with a top-knot hairstyle, except one's hair colour is blue, and the other's is yellow.
It was the blue one that threw that fireball at me.
While I was distracted by their ridiculous haircuts, that yellow-haired bitch hit me with a lightning-fast punch. The pain was unbearable.
"ARRRGGHHHHH"
Tears started falling from my eyes. While I was enduring the pain, they introduced themselves. The blue-haired fucker takes the right of speech from far away.
"My name is Amir! My favourite colour is blue!"
He had to scream so that I could even hear him. The yellow-haired fucker grabs me by my neck.
"My name is Hassan. You might think my favourite colour is yellow because of my hair, but let me tell you something, looks can deceive. That's why you should never judge a book by its cover. Have you learnt something new, Majin?"
With the remaining strength I have, I nod my head. He smiles.
"Do you want to die?"
I don't know who this dumbass thinks I am. Are we serious? Do I want to die? What a stupid fucking question. I know for a fact he won't respect my wishes.
He looks like the type to rob innocent grandmas who've done nothing wrong a day in their lives.
He looks like he says bad morning when he wakes up.
He looks like my right nut, pause.
Time's running out, I gotta answer this pussy.
"Obviously not."
He gives me an unforgivable smirk.
"It was a trick question."
Tongue first, he plunges his face right into my mouth. I don't even wanna describe how it felt. Not even a thousand showers could make me feel clean. I've never felt so disgusted with myself. I've reincarnated as a Majin, but I can't even protect myself against some yellow-haired fuck. I'm deadass being sexually harassed by some gay guy.
"GET THE FUCK OFF ME!"
I kick his balls as hard as I can. Not even a Saiyan could survive a good kick to the testicles. He starts hopping away as he endures an everlasting pain.
"You little shit! It hurts!"
He falls onto the ground. Perfect timing, I can use my Majin powers to fly away. So that's exactly what I do, I fly away, as far as I can go.
Obviously, I couldn't get that far. Hassan grabs my neck while I'm flying away.
"Little fucker thought he could run away from the big fucker."
I give up.
Is this really the end? Am I really gonna lose pathetically again?
A bald man with a sick cape comes hovering over to us.
"What have I stumbled upon? Is it a duel? Or is it just straight-up abuse? This poor man looks like he's being beaten up for no particular reason. May I help you, son?"
A tear falls from my eye. My saviour has come in the form of a hovering bald uncle.
"Son, I smell the Haitian on you. Are you Haitian perchance?"
I answer him with a powerful...
"YES!"
A beautiful moment of relief. He throws a barrage of punches at the Hassan guy, letting me escape his grasp.
I fly away and view the battle from a distance.
The fight doesn't even last two minutes when the bald uncle takes the yellow-haired fucker by the neck and holds him up like a prize.
"Hey, blue hair! Should I kill off your brother? Or should I let him live? Your choice, by the way."
The blue-haired guy stands still
"Good choice"
He shoots a Ki Blast right out of his palm.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOO"
Uncle puts on a menacing tone.
"Take your brother and leave. You fucks are nuisances."
As the two brothers leave, the bald uncle comes over to me. I'm sitting on some rocks.
"What's your name, son?"
"M-my name is Nathanguu. But you can call me Guu."
"Let me warn you, those two idiots will come back looking for revenge, and you'll be their target. I won't be there to protect you, but I will make sure you survive the encounter. Understand?"
It's all so sudden. I have a sensei now? I don't even know his name.
"Say, what do you go by?"
"They call me Farrow the Obliterator."
Huh, this guy was never in Dragon Ball Z. Whose shitty OC is this guy? Anyways, I'm not losing anything training under this guy, so why not?
"Come, son. We must return to my dwelling."
We both soar into the sky, flying past the birds and the clouds.
"Say, son, I sense confusion spewing out of your soul. Are you from around these parts? Or are you from a different reality? Let me guess, you were a high school boy who died of a heart attack while pissing."
What the fuck. I've already seen so much crazy shit it doesn't even surprise me anymore. He guessed my situation perfectly first try. Obviously, I don't want to expose exactly who I am, so there was only one way to answer this question.
"Let's just say I'm a man looking to atone for his sins."
He bursts out in laughter.
"Hahahaha! Atoning for your sins? You're hilarious! Don't you realise sins make you stronger? I mean, seriously, look at me! I'm a man who has embraced all seven deadly sins!"
Can't expect much from a bald Haitian uncle.
Am I really going to forget my character development arc and instead focus on obtaining power while being the shittiest person alive?
Who am I even hanging out with?
This guy literally told me that he embraced all seven deadly sins.
Is this guy the devil himself?
That would explain how he guessed my origins.
"I'll let you be alone with your thoughts."
He guessed me again. He has to be the fucking devil.
20 MINUTES LATER
"We're here."
It's ridiculous, this guy lives on a small island with a penis-shaped house.
I didn't even want to question the shape. All I want is to rest.
"You got a bed in there?"
"Obviously."
He opens the door to his stupid-looking house and I-I-I...
Guu falls down face first onto the floor after an exhausting day.
"Dumb fuck couldn't even make it to the bed."