Ork Weirdboy – Lv.38
|HP: 5800/5800
|MP: 1500
| Weirdboyz are Ork psykers, unique in that they act as psychic sponges, absorbing and channelling the psychic energies of other Orks. All Orks are innately psychic, though in only a few - the Weirdboyz - are their psychic powers fully developed.
Stats:
| STR: 78
| VIT: 86
| INT: 14
| LUK: 77
-
The Weirdboy wasn't particularly smart, but he was insanely lucky, which was why he hadn't died using the Warp yet. That was all there was to it.
The Weirdboy slammed his copper staff down, and instead of a simple bolt, he unleashed a Waaagh spell.
[Warpath]
A wave of green, jagged energy rippled out from him, washing over the surrounding Goff Boyz and Nobz. The Orks' eyes turned into a glowing, lightning-emerald; their muscles swelled, and they began to strike the floor with such frenzy that the ferro-crete shattered.
"Dey's gettin' faster!" a Gretchin squealed before being trampled by a frenzied Boy.
Gerhard raised his Lightning Claw, but before he could fire, the Weirdboy shrieked again, using another discipline.
[DA JUMP!]
In a flash of green light and the smell of ozone, a whole mob of 'Ard Boyz and Tankbustas vanished from the back of the plaza and reappeared instantly in a crackling warp-pop directly above Gerhard. They didn't think about it and swung their big choppas and hurled their bombs with "Warpath"-enhanced speed and power. The metal clanged against the Diamantine Bulwark, finally doing some damage. The sheer kinetic force, enhanced by Warp sorcery, staggered the three-meter suit and dealt damage.
> HP: 4928/7500. Heat is looking good, 89% of the ammunition spent has been recreated. You are ready to go, Master.
"Enough mukkin' about!" Gerhard roared.
He swung a massive armoured backhand, his +95 STR sending three 'Ard Boyz flying like ragdolls. He sliced the Tankbustaz to pieces and continued to kill Boyz with his Lightning Claws and Storm Bolter. But the Weirdboy wasn't finished.
He had gotten closer to Gerhard and suddenly vomited a gout of green, ectoplasmic flame.
[Psychic Vomit]
The psychogenic energy, which the Weirdboy could no longer hold, was vented powerfully in a great green stream, attacking Gerhard.
[Psionic Mana Shield]
The psychic vomit clashed with the shield, and it flickered as massive amounts of power erupted.
[MP: 1651/1651]
The Ork suffered damage, which was reflected from the shield, but he didn't care. He was losing control over the energies, as the battle had turned into a semi-Waaagh, already.
"'EADBANG--!"
The Weirdboy gathered every ounce of Waaagh! energy for the finishing blow. As he was losing control of the energies raging through him, he caused his head and the heads of those around him to explode.
A jagged, screaming bolt of Waaagh-energy slammed into Gerhard's Psionic Mana Shield and shook it. The barrier flared a bright white and was about to break under the onslaught of the Ork's collective Waaagh-energy. But Gerhard reinforced the shield using his [Telekinesis].
"Too much gumph, sparky-boy!" Gerhard growled.
His right shoulder plating slid open with a mechanical hiss. Two dozen Smart Missiles ignited. Gerhard used Psychokinesis to reinforce them and then released them. They weaved through the chaotic green lightning.
Whir-Screech—BOOM.
The missiles struck the remaining body of the Weirdboy, creating an explosion of monstrous power, affecting hundreds of Orks nearby as well. The physical explosion was secondary to the psychic catastrophe. A massive, dome-shaped shockwave of emerald and blue energy expanded outward, creating a localised feedback loop.
Nearby Snotlings, Gretchin, Ork Boyz and even Nobz suddenly clutched their heads as their brains literally cooked, popping like wet firecrackers.
[Ork Weirdboy defeated]
[+60,000 EXP]
[148x Snotling defeated]
[+740,000 EXP]
[Level up]
.
But the Orks still weren't done. A screech of grinding metal announced the arrival of several mobs of Cyborks. Sometimes Orks get critically injured in battle but survive to fight again later after an extensive rebuild by 'Mad Doks' that turns them into as much of a machine as an Ork - a Cybork.
One had a spinning saw-blade where his left hand should be; another had an entire steam-venting furnace bolted into his back, and another was only an upper body bolted to mechanical legs.
"I'S got metal too, Beaky Git!" the lead Cybork roared, his mechanical jaw clicking.
Above the deafening sounds of battle, a new one emerged: the frantic, high-pitched thwip-thwip-thwip of ramshackle rotors.
[Observe]
Deffkopta – Lv.38
|HP: 10,500/10,500
|MP: 0
| The most common type of Ork aircraft. Deffkoptas are single-seat attack craft, comprising little more than a Warbike-like frame screaming through the air on jet-assisted rotor blades, whirring above the pilot's head.
Weaponry:
| Twin-linked Big Shootas or Rokkit Launchas
-
The first Cybork lunged at Gerhard. His saw-blade threw sparks as it ground against Gerhard's Power Sword. Gerhard felt his [Danger Sense] suddenly kick off, and it came from above, where the Deffkoptas were very close now.
> Master! Incoming 'Big Bomm'!
Despite their name, Bigbomms are the smallest type of Ork bomb, carried by Deffkoptas and Warkoptas, but they still make a big boom.
"Look at da shiny boyz!" one pilot cackled, leaning out of his seat to toss such a "Bigbomm" by hand. But Gerhard had no time for them right now.
[Psionic Mana Shield]
BOOOOMM--BOOOOMM--BOOOOMM--
The bombs exploded as they hit the shield, while Gerhard was focused on the Cyborkz, who were now inside the shield - alone with Gerhard.
"You's garbage," Gerhard snapped.
He grabbed the saw-arm with his Lightning Claw and squeezed. The Polymorphic Alloy of the suit's glove, plus the disruption field, ground the Ork's bionic limb into scrap metal.
Gerhard then pivoted, using the Power Blade to cut a wide horizontal arc. The blade sheared through the second Cyborks' bionic chest-plates and organic hearts alike. Metal screeched, and green blood sprayed the ground.
[4x Ork Cybork defeated]
[+480,000 EXP]
Gerhard ceased the [Psionic Mana Shield] and engaged his powered turbines, shooting into the sky as the Deffkopta's rokkits pulverised the floor where he'd just been standing.
He looked up, the HUD tracking the three Deffkoptas who were circling him like vultures and attacking as they did. He used Psychokinesis to seize an approaching rokkit mid-air and moved it around him, back towards the sender.
BOOOOOMMM---
Gerhard pointed his Storm Bolter towards another Deffkopta and shot it out of the sky, leaving him with a final one. He fired his Repulsor Beam and sheared through the rotor blades of the last Kopta, sending it spiralling into a pile of Tank Bustas who were trying to line up a shot.
[3x Deffkopta defeated]
[+285,000 EXP]
[4x Tank Bustas defeated]
[+144,000 EXP]
[Level up]
Gerhard crashed back down, creating a crater and squashing dozens of Ork Boyz that had been beneath him.
"How's the energy levels looking?" Gerhard asked Hans.
> More than fine, Master. Thanks to our passive MP regeneration of +54 netto, I can constantly replenish my reserves. I'm currently down 2998/5950. But that will rise quickly.
"Start using mine, to get the [Iron Will] bonus regen."
> Understood.
.
The air suddenly turned spiked violently in the last quarter of the battlefield. A large squad of Orks arrived, with what was possibly the final assault they could muster on such 'short notice'.
"Quite an interesting group we have here," Gerhard said.
> Interesting is an interesting word to use here.
"Fun?"
> Yes.
From behind a barricade of charred crates, a wall of flickering orange and blue light announced a new threat. Leading the charge was a Big Mek, having bolted a whirring Kustom Force Field onto his shoulders.
Big Mek – Lv.45
|HP: 9500/9500
|MP: 1200
|A master of Ork engineering whose creations bend reality through Waaagh energy. Big Meks dominate the battlefield with force fields, teleportation, and devastating experimental weapons.
Weapons:
|Shokk Attack Gun (Damage: 400–900, warp-based, unpredictable)
| Kustom Mega-Blasta (Damage: 300–500)
Special Effects:
|Kustom Force Field
| → Creates barrier reducing incoming damage by ~40% for nearby allies
|Waaagh Tech Amplification
| → Buffs all nearby Ork weapons (+15–25% damage)
|Tellyporta Burst
| → Short-range teleport (self or allies)
|Unstable Warp Interaction
| → Chance for extreme effects (insta-kill OR misfire)
-
Behind the Big Mek, Gretchins pushed a Kustom Mega-kannon, whose barrel was glowing and smoking already. They had come prepared.
"GIVE 'IM DA FULL POWA, BOYZ!" the Big Mek bellowed.
To the Big Mek's left and right, a squad of Burna Boyz walked forward and unleashed a coordinated-uncoordinated wall of blue-hot promethium flames. And the Gretchin fired the Kustom Mega-kannon with wild abandon.
Burna Boy – Lv.25
|HP: 5500/5500
|MP: 0
| Flame has an undeniable appeal to all Orks, but some of them take this mania to the next level. An Ork's fascination with fire and the ignoble art of setting things aflame may become so profound that he finds himself acquiring a Burna and joining the ranks of the Burna Boyz.
Weapons:
| Burna (Damage: 150 AoE, continuous flame)
-
Simultaneously, Ork Lootas, perched atop the ruins on a higher platform, had shining eyes as they looked at Gerhard, similar to the Tank Bustas had, but for different reasons.
Loota – Lv.28
|HP: 6200/6200
|MP: 0
|A scavenger Ork who wields a cobbled-together Deffgun made from stolen technology. Lootas provide overwhelming suppressive fire and thrive on battlefield chaos.
Weapons:
Deffgun (Damage: 180–320, high fire rate)
Special Effects:
|Dakka Overload
| → Sustained fire increases damage over time (+ stacking)
|Unstable Weaponry
| → Damage fluctuates wildly (high variance)
|Suppressive Barrage
| → Reduces enemy movement and accuracy
-
The Lootas braced their Deffguns and let loose, shaking the plaza with a deafening mix of fire and explosions.
thump--vrooom--thump--booom---thump--
Gerhard's HUD was a strobe light of warnings.
> Thermal Regulation Layer: Active. Polymorphic Alloy: Adapting. The damage isn't anything much, but it will stack. The Deffguns are no joke, Master.
Inside the Iron Monger, Gerhard didn't even sweat.
"You's mukkin' about with sparklers. Let me show you a real burn," he addressed the Orks.
Just as the flames began to subside, a new sound drowned out even the Deffguns... a rhythmic, deep-bass pounding accompanied by the shrill cackle of Grots.
From the far terrace of the plaza stepped a mob of the most obnoxious Orks in the galaxy: the Flash Gitz.
Flash Git - Lv. 34
|HP: 7800/7800
|MP: 0
|The wealthiest and most arrogant Orks, Flash Gitz are Nob-level warriors obsessed with firepower. Armed with heavily customised Snazzguns, they dominate the battlefield through sheer destructive output and unpredictable weapon effects.
Weapon:
| Snazzgun (Primary) - (Damage: 250–450 base, variable)
Special trait:
Each burst has a chance to trigger one of the following:
|More Dakka
| → +100% fire rate for short duration
|Shootier
| → +60% damage per shot
|Blasta Mode
| → Converts shots into plasma
| → Damage: 350–600
| → Ignores armour (VERY dangerous)
|Overload / Misfire
| → Weapon jams OR backfires (minor self-damage)
-
Clad in flamboyant, gold-trimmed armour made of squig-hide and sporting bionic "Gitfinda" eyes that whirred and clicked, these Bad Moon Nobz sneered at the "primitive" Goffs. They were the richest and the most well-equipped and the most well-fed and the... well, you get the picture.
Each of the Flash Gitz carried a Snazzgun, a weapon so over-engineered it had three barrels, a built-in toaster, and enough trophies to sink a trukk. And some other stuff as well. It was ridiculous, and it was glorious, even in Gerhard's eyes.
Which was exactly why he was going to get them for himself. He could make much better use of them.
"OI! Look at dis shiny bark-bit!" the Kaptin of the Flash Gitz roared, his bionic eye locking onto Gerhard. "Needs more dekor... dekorar... ration! Dat armour wuld make a snazzy trophy pole! OPEN FIRE, BOYZ! SHOW 'EM WOT REAL TEEF KAN BUY!"
The Flash Gitz unleashed a barrage that made the Lootas' fire look like a warm-up. Their Snazzguns spat a mixture of high-calibre shells and crackling "Blasta" plasma energy bolts. The energy impacts rippled against Gerhard's shield, the blue plasma arcs dancing across the Polymorphic Alloy.
One Flash Git had a "More Dakka" upgrade that allowed his gun to fire so fast the barrels turned white-hot in seconds, raining a continuous stream of lead that threatened to push even the Iron Monger back. And most importantly, it did considerable damage.
The Big Mek cackled behind his shimmering green bubble.
"YOU kan't 'it us, beaky git! Da bubble is dedd 'ard!"
"Is it?" Gerhard mused.
[Psionic Mana Shield]
He used Psychokinesis in tandem with his shield. He was all out of smart missiles, sadly. They were a newer addition to the armour and had seen their first battle today.
Gerhard targeted the Kustom Mega-kannon directly. Stomping forward so he was within range, he performed a mental wrenching motion, and he seized the unstable internal coils.
[Parallel Processing] allowed him to maintain his Psionic Mana Shield against the Flash Gitz's plasma bolts while simultaneously squeezing the cannon's core, causing the rather unstable weapon to begin to groan and burn uncomfortably until...
KABOOM.
The Mega-kannon detonated. The explosion hit the Kustom Force Field of the Big Mek, overloading it and shattering it like glass. The Big Mek was struck by the released energy and tossed backwards, his bionic legs sparking and smoking from the damage.
"Wot a stupid fing dat was. I built dese legs wif da best scrap I got!" he groaned as he pushed himself into an upright position.
Something blotted out the light, making the Big Mek look up and stare into the scary image of Gerhard's Lightning Claw.
"Das a good kla--"
[Ork Big Mek defeated]
[+180,000 EXP]
[6x Gretchin defeated]
[+30,000 EXP]
With the field down, the Lootas, Burna Boyz, and the arrogant Flash Gitz were exposed. The Gitz scrambled, their well-dressed Grots desperately trying to reload the massive Snazzguns.
Gerhard raised both hands; his Storm Bolters and Repulsor Ray were ready for action.
"Allow me," he said.
He fanned his Repulsor Rays in a horizontal sweep. The high-intensity las-beams sliced through the Burna Boyz' fuel tanks.
KABOOOOOM--
A chain reaction of liquid fire turned the squad into a localised sun. Then, Gerhard remembered that he didn't want to kill all of them that way since he wanted a burna or flamer.
He had Hans, now he needed a flamer.
A heavy flamer.
Gerhard tilted his wrists, lancing the rays upward into the Lootas' ruins, while using his Storm Bolter and his almost impeccable aim to kill the remaining Burna Boyz.
As the Orks died, Gerhard focused his targeting logic on the escaping Flash Gitz. They reckoned that if they fled, they could always return with better Snazzguns and eventually kill Gerhard.
But it was not to be.
The Kaptin of the Flash Gitz tried to raise his Snazzgun for one last "Blasta" shot, when Gerhard used Psychokinesis to seize the gun. He yanked it upward out of his grip, much to his loud displeasure. And then, he fed the Ork a series of bolters de la creme.
"WOT DA—?!"
The Flash Gitz turned into a wet green paste of gore and blood. The explosion that followed wiped out the entire mob of Flash Gitz, sending gold-plated scrap and bits of fancy armour raining across the plaza.
[Burna Boyz Mob defeated]
[+200,000 EXP]
[Loota Squad defeated]
[+220,000 EXP]
[Level up]
[Flash Gitz Mob defeated]
[+420,000 EXP]
As the smoke cleared, Gerhard stepped out of the fading flames. His armour was soot-stained, and the small damage he had suffered was already being repaired.
He didn't say anything else as he continued on the slaughter.
.
.
The plaza was now a charnel house that had been burnt to the ground. The monstrously wide plaza on the Hives' ground floor had been overturned. Oil, gore and other nasty things had mixed with green blood, creating a foul-smelling muck. Gerhard stood amongst the smouldering wreckage of Mega Armour, bionic limbs, and gilded Kannons.
Only two Ork Boyz remained.
They were lying on the ground behind a large piece of wreckage, their Shootas jammed, their eyes wide with excitement and terror. They had tried to run off, to fight another day, but had their limbs blasted off with perfectly aimed bolter shots.
Gerhard walked over, his heavy mechanical legs crushing a scrap of trophies on the ground. He seized the two Boyz by their necks, lifting them high to his face and revealed his face.
"Right ladz, I am Gerhard Valkyrie, da Dakka Masta. I just rexum yer whole mob, yer shiny Gitz, and yer metal-boyz, and I ent even got a dent in me paint."
He clenched his fist and claw slightly, making it hard for them to breathe.
"In one month, I's be komin' bakk. Right 'ere. You tell da Big Boss, tell dat Grot dat I want a proppa fight next time. Bring lots o' choppas, bring lots o' dakka, lots o' WAAAGH. We's gon see who's da betta Ork. Me, a humie or you Grots!"
He smashed their heads against each other and then dropped them.
"Now... GET YER LEGS ON!"
The armless messengers scrambled to their feet and bolted into the dark, their screams echoing: "DA METAL KRUMPER IS COMIN'! DA DAKKA-MASTER IS 'ERE!"
Gerhard stood alone in the aftermath of the destruction. He checked his HUD and the status of his suit and himself. The EXP bar had grown strong. He turned around and used [Psychokinesis] to start collecting all of his loot.
It would be a shame to leave it all here.