The "Low-Stakes" meter was currently vibrating with a frequency that felt like a mixture of high-fashion silk and static electricity. I was in the middle of a "Protocol Logistics" meeting with Nigel Uno when the Crown of Fire began to glow a vibrant, Tamaranean pink.
["Danny, we have a 'Sovereign-Request' from Jump City,"] Sheila reported, her avatar wearing a very stylish set of holographic sunglasses. ["Starfire is currently at the 'Glaze & Glow Boutique' in the Jump City Mall. She attempted to find a 'Normal' outfit for the upcoming 'Titans Gala,' but the shop's new line of 'Ecto-Chic' accessories has achieved localized sentience. The mannequins are currently refusing to let anyone leave until they provide a 'Perfect Accessory' match."]
"Mannequin-mandated styling?" I muttered, standing up. "That's a Level 7 'Retail-Liability.' If the mall-goers are forced to stay, the 'Social-Entropy' will cause a spike in the Jump City food court that even Beast Boy can't handle."
"I've got the 'Trend-Stabilizer' ready!" Jenny said, skating into the lab. She had integrated a few of Leni's fashion-logic gates into her sensors. "Danny, my scanners say the 'Ecto-Chic' line is actually infused with residual 'After-Hours' energy. The clothes think they're the 'Main Characters' of a fashion-shoot!"
"Protocol, gear up!" I commanded. "We're going to the mall."
We arrived to find the boutique looking like a neon-lit fortress of fabrics. Starfire was trapped in a shimmering, violet scarf that was currently trying to 'Drape' itself into a throne. Around her, a dozen mannequins were striking high-fashion poses, blocking the exits with invisible 'Aura-Ropes.'
"Friend Danny! Friend Jenny!" Starfire cheered, though she looked a bit tangled. "The garments are most insistent! They say my 'Heroic-Vibe' is 'So Last Season' and require me to wear the 'Belt of Eternal Shimmer'!"
"Not today, silk-worms," I said, the Crown of Fire illuminating the racks of sentient clothing.
I stepped forward, my Sovereign Scepter tapping against the marble floor. "Attention, Apparel! Your 'Narrative-Logic' is misplaced. This is a 'Standardized' retail environment. Your performance-contract is hereby Limited to 30 Seconds."
I raised my hand, the Ring of Regulation pulsing with a cold, blue-and-silver light. "By the authority of the Ghost King... STRIKE A POSE AND STAY THERE."
The mannequins didn't fall; they 'Standardized.' They returned to their static, plastic states. The sentient scarves slumped back into harmless silk. The 'Ecto-Chic' energy was pulled into a localized 'Possible' containment unit.
"Mystery... accessorized," I said, helping Starfire out of the scarf.
I looked at the 'Low-Stakes' meter. 5%. The mall was safe, Starfire had her 'Normal' outfit, and the "Possible Protocol" had successfully avoided a fashion-disaster.
But the romance sub-plots were currently 'Vogue' in the boutique light as well.
Jenny walked up to me, her eyes a soft, pulsing violet. She looked at a nearby silver jacket that had remained perfectly still under my command. "Danny? When you 'Standardized' the room... my 'Aesthetic-Logic' noted that you have a 100% 'Style-Rating' in any dimension. Does that mean our 'Logic-Sync' is always in fashion?"
"We're 'Classic', Jenny," I whispered, taking her metal hand. "And classics never go out of style."
Jenny's cooling fans whirred in a happy, rhythmic pulse. She leaned in and gave me a quick, metallic kiss that left a 'High-Fashion' glow on my cheek.
Meanwhile, Leni Loud (who had come along for 'Consultation') was currently helping Starfire pick out a belt. "LITERALLY, Star, the violet goes so well with your 'Solar-Flare' ponytail! It's a total 'Possible' win!"
I looked at the team: the Middleton heroes, the Titans, and the fashion-forward Louds. We were a family of many 'Looks,' but as we walked through the mall, I knew we had the best fit.
["Danny,"] Sheila's voice rang in my ear. ["I've updated the dossier. New Entry: 'Sentient-Apparel Mitigation.' Also, the boutique owner just asked if we can 'Insure' the next line of clothing. I've sent him a 'Possible' quote... with a 400% 'Ghost-King' premium."]
"Good girl, Sheila. Low-stakes. Always."