Middleton High's athletic field was currently a "Low-Stakes" logistical anomaly. I stood on the bleachers, my "Producer" glasses struggling to process the sheer density of heroic archetypes currently stretching in the grass.
"Sheila," I said, shielding my eyes from the glare of Starfire's solar-flare ponytail. "Give me a 'Chaos-Index' on the current roster."
["The index is currently at 88%, Danny,"] Sheila replied. ["We have the Teen Titans stretching on the 40-yard line, the Bikini Bottom Crew currently occupying three localized 'Water-Bubble' stations in the end zone, and the Mystery Inc. Ghosts—the 'Space Kook,' the 'Creeper,' and the 'Black Knight'—who have been 'Temporarily Reanimated' by Pips to act as the opposing team for the hurdle-race. Also, SpongeBob is currently trying to 'Ready-Ready-Ready' the starting gun."]
"No starting guns, SpongeBob!" I yelled. "Low-stakes! Use the whistle!"
The first event was the 'Trans-Dimensional Relay Race.'
Robin and Kim Possible were at the starting line, looking intensely competitive. Sandy Cheeks (in her 'Possible' modified air-suit) was the anchor for the Bikini Bottom team, and The Creeper was currently vibrating in the third lane.
"Ready!" SpongeBob blew a bubbles-whistle. "GO!"
The race was a blur of high-speed 'Possible' logic. Robin used a grappling hook to clear the first 50 meters, while Sandy used 'Karate-Speed' to keep pace. But the 'Mystery Inc. Ghosts' were playing by 'Spooky-Logic.' The Space Kook didn't run; he just 'Teleported' in bursts of high-pitched laughter.
"Hey! That's a foul!" Ben (as XLR8) yelled, blurred across the track to 'Dampen' the ghost's frequency.
Meanwhile, at the 'Supernatural Shot-Put', Cyborg and Lynn Loud were currently locked in a tie.
"Yo, little sister! That's a lot of power for a human!" Cyborg laughed, hoisting a five-hundred-pound 'Ecto-Weight.'
"I don't need 'Cyborg-parts' to win, Stone!" Lynn grinned, her muscles bulging as she launched the weight into the 'Ghost Zone' end of the field. "I just need a 'Lynn-vestment'!"
In the center of it all, I sat with Jenny on the sidelines. She was acting as the 'Official Timekeeper,' her internal chronometer accurate to the billionth of a second.
"Danny?" Jenny asked, her eyes a soft, pulsing violet. "My 'Social-Integration' database is currently recording a 40% increase in 'Friendship-Logic.' Even the ghosts are enjoying the 'Structure' of the competition. Does this mean the Protocol has successfully 'Normalized' the paranormal?"
"We've made it 'Low-Stakes,' Jenny," I said, taking her metal hand. "And that's the first step to 'Normal'."
Jenny's cooling fans whirred in a happy, rhythmic pulse. She leaned her head against my shoulder, the cool metal reflecting the Middleton sun.
But the "Field Day" hit a snag during the 'Tug-of-War.'
The Mystery Inc. Ghosts had combined their spectral energy to create a 'Gravitational-Tether.' Even with Starfire, Beast Boy (as a Gorilla), and Jack Fenton on the other end, the rope wasn't moving.
"They're 'Anchoring' to the school's foundations!" Jimmy Neutron shouted, pulling out a 'Traction-Enhancer.' "The ghosts are cheating by using 'Solidified-Spookiness'!"
"I've got the 'Anti-Spook'!" Danny Fenton yelled. He went ghost, grabbed the rope, and 'Infused' it with a localized Cryo-Freeze.
The rope turned into a solid, slippery bar of ice. The ghosts, unable to maintain their grip on the 'Absolute-Zero' surface, let go and went flying backward into a localized 'Capture-Net' that Fred had 'accidently' set up earlier.
"Mystery... pulled!" T.J. Detweiler cheered, blowing his whistle. "The Possible Protocol wins by a 'Ghost-Length'!"
As the "Field Day" ended with a massive 'Krabby Patty' BBQ (provided by a very enthusiastic SpongeBob and a very profit-focused Mr. Krabs), the team felt... unified.
Ben and Cyd were currently in a 'Pie-Eating' contest with Beast Boy. Kim and Starfire were sharing tactical secrets. And Scooby-Doo was currently sharing a 'Scooby-Naco' with Ron and Rufus.
I looked at the 'Low-Stakes' meter. 5%. Perfection.
"Sheila," I whispered, as Jenny and I watched the sun set over the field. "Update the dossier. Multiversal Field Day: Role: Total Success. Also, the 'Space Kook' just asked if he can 'Audit' the Protocol class. He says he likes the 'Vibe' of the West Wing."
["I've already processed his application, Danny,"] Sheila replied. ["He'll be joining us for the 'Advanced-Scaring' elective next week. Also, Principal Barkin just won the 'Egg-and-Spoon' race against Raven. He's currently in his office celebrating with a juice box."]
"Low-stakes, Sheila. Low-stakes."