The second semester at Middleton High began not with a bell, but with the sound of a structural support beam groaning under the weight of an impossible delivery.
I stood in the center of the cafeteria, my "Producer" glasses scanning a pile of glowing, purple-tinted storage crates that had been stacked ten feet high near the salad bar. The air smelled like cinnamon, sulfur, and a very specific type of high-octane tamarind.
"Sheila," I said, shielding my eyes from the violet shimmer emanating from the crates. "Is the 'Low-Stakes' meter currently experiencing a 'Starfire-grade' anomaly?"
["The 'Caloric-Request' index has exceeded the capacity of the tri-state area, Danny,"] Sheila replied. ["Our new 'Exchange Student'—Starfire of the Teen Titans—has arrived for the 'Inter-Team Social Integration' elective. She has brought her own 'Survival Snacks' from Tamaran. According to my data, a single 'Zork-Nut' contains enough energy to power a small city... or give Ron Stoppable a localized stomach-ache that lasts for three decades."]
"Friend Danny! Friend Jenny!" a joyful voice boomed from the ceiling.
Starfire descended, her red hair trailing like a solar flare. She was wearing a "Middleton High" cheerleader uniform that Mabel and Leni had modified to be "flight-compatible," and she was holding a bowl of shimmering, green soup.
"I have arrived for the learning of the 'Normal' teenager behaviors!" Starfire cheered, giving Jenny and me a simultaneous hug that nearly recalibrated my spine. "I have brought the 'Glorious Pudding of Greeting'! It is a traditional Tamaranean delicacy made from the fermented silk of the Great Glub-Worm!"
"That's... very welcoming, Starfire," I gasped, finally regaining my breath. "But we have a 'Low-Stakes' policy about fermented silk in the cafeteria. Principal Barkin is already sensitive to 'Exotic-Aromas'."
"It smells like a foot!" Ron Stoppable yelled from a nearby table, though he was eyeing the purple crates with a look of intense, professional curiosity. "A very spicy, intergalactic foot!"
"I like it!" Leni Loud chirped, leaning over to sniff the soup. "It matches my new 'Neon-Jungle' earrings! Is it wearable?"
"It is edible!" Starfire insisted.
But the "Low-Stakes" mystery began when Pips phased out of my pocket. The little Mechamorph-mite had been studying "Tamaranean Bio-Tech" in the library and was currently fascinated by the glowing crates. He dove into the largest one, and the crate didn't just open—it Ignited.
["Danny, the 'Glub-Worm' silk is reactive to Pips' Mechamorph-energy!"] Sheila warned. ["The pudding is currently 'Achieving Sentience'! It is absorbing the school's 'Taco-Tuesday' leftovers and forming a Lactose-Based Life-Form!"]
A massive, green, pudding-like creature rose from the crates, letting out a sound like a wet tuba. It began to "bounce" toward the kitchen, absorbing every tater-tot in its path.
"It's a Pudding-Pocalypse!" T.J. Detweiler yelled, grabbing a cafeteria tray as a shield. "Everyone to the playground! This is not a drill!"
"I've got the 'Flavor-Stability'!" Jimmy Neutron shouted, pulling out a 'Molecular-De-Stink-Inator.' "Jenny! We need to 'Freeze-Dry' the silk before it bonds with the mystery-meat!"
The mission was a masterclass in "Exchange-Student" cooperation. Jenny skated toward the Pudding-Monster, her eyes glowing a soft, pulsing violet. She didn't use her lasers; she used her internal "Cooling-Vents" to broadcast a localized 'Freeze-Ray' that slowed the pudding's expansion.
Starfire flew overhead, using her 'Star-Bolts' to cauterize the green silk as it tried to reach the ceiling fans. "I am sorry, Pudding of Greeting! But you are being 'Rude' to the educational environment!"
Ben (as Arcticguana) and Danny Phantom joined the freeze-down, turning the cafeteria into a localized winter wonderland. Within three minutes, the "Great Glub-Worm" soup was reduced to a very large, very green, and very frozen popsicle.
I looked at the 'Low-Stakes' meter. 15%. A bit high for a Tuesday, but the school wasn't destroyed, and Starfire had successfully learned her first lesson: "Don't bring Sentient Pudding to School."
"That was... exhilarating!" Starfire laughed, landing next to us. "The 'Possible Protocol' is truly a place of great excitement! I shall update the Titans on our success!"
"Maybe leave out the part about the tater-tots," I whispered.
As the team helped the janitorial staff (and a very confused Cyborg) clean up the green slush, I sat with Jenny on a cafeteria bench. She looked at the frozen pudding-pop, then at me.
"Danny?" she asked, her eyes a soft, pulsing violet. "Starfire says that 'Shared-Combat' is a traditional way to bond on her planet. She calls it 'The Joy of the Together-Battle.' Does this mean our 'Second Semester' is going to be full of 'Together-Battles'?"
"I think as long as we're 'Together,' Jenny," I whispered, taking her metal hand. "The 'Battles' are just background noise."
Jenny's internal fans whirred in a happy, rhythmic pulse. She leaned her head against my shoulder, the cool metal a comforting anchor in the now-clean cafeteria.
Meanwhile, Starfire was currently showing Lori and Leni how to 'Accessorize' their tactical gear with Tamaranean "Glow-Gems." "They are 'Literally' brilliant!" Leni cheered.
I looked at the team: the Middleton crew, the Amity ghosts, the Retroville geniuses, the KND, the Loud Sisters, the New York Dragon, and the new Tamaranean Princess. We were a family of anomalies, and as the bell rang for 2nd period, I knew the 'Possible Protocol' was entering its most interesting semester yet.
["Danny,"] Sheila's voice rang in my ear. ["I've updated the dossier. New Recruit: Starfire. Role: Aerial-Artillery and 'Cultural-Diplomat.' Also, Principal Barkin just asked if the 'Green Slush' is available for the faculty lounge. He says it looks 'Vibrant.' I suggest we say it's a 'Field-Study' toxin."]
"Good call, Sheila. Low-stakes. Always."