Bikini Bottom was a surrealist masterpiece of coral-neon and bubble-logic, but to the "Possible Protocol," it was mostly just a very wet "Field Study." Thanks to a localized "Aqua-Bubble" enchantment from Timmy Turner's godparents and some high-tech atmospheric rebreathers from Jimmy Neutron, the team was currently lounging on the sand of Goo Lagoon.
"Sheila," I said, adjusting my underwater-calibrated glasses as I watched Ben sunbathe on a rock. "Tell me the 'Low-Stakes' meter is holding steady at a comfortable 5%."
["The environment is 90% tropical relaxation, Danny,"] Sheila replied. ["However, I am detecting a localized 'Tiny-Aggression' signature near Ben's left wrist. Something is moving through the sand at a microscopic level. It has a high concentration of jealousy and a very small, very shrill laugh."]
"Plankton," I muttered, my "Producer" brain shifting into 'Tactical-Defense' mode. "Ben! Watch your six! There's a cycloptic micro-manager on the prowl!"
"Relax, Danny!" Ben said, not even opening his eyes. "I'm in Bikini Bottom. The biggest threat here is a jellyfish with a bad attitude. Besides, the Omnitrix has a 'fail-safe' for—"
Ben didn't finish the sentence. He didn't even feel the "Heist" happen.
Sheldon J. Plankton had spent the last three hours piloting a specialized, 'Possible-Logic' stealth suit—a device he'd built out of a discarded soda can and a stolen transistor from Jimmy's lab. He was currently the size of a dust mite, riding a localized "Static-Current" directly onto the face of the Omnitrix.
"AHA!" Plankton's voice, amplified by his suit's micro-speakers to a frequency only my glasses could catch, cackled with glee. "The Krabby Patty secret formula has eluded me for decades, but with the Omnitrix, I shall transform into a creature so massive, so terrifying, that Mr. Krabs will hand over the recipe just to stop me from stepping on his precious restaurant!"
Plankton didn't try to pull the watch off. He knew about the 'Bio-Link.' Instead, he used a localized "Neural-Displacement Patch"—a tiny, glowing green circuit board—and slapped it onto the Omnitrix's core.
The watch didn't beep. It didn't flash. It simply... unspooled.
The Omnitrix detached from Ben's wrist, its nanite-fiber structure retracting until it was the size of a nickel. Plankton's micro-suit deployed a set of robotic pincers, grabbed the watch, and engaged a "Hyper-Speed Aqua-Jet."
"HEY!" Ben yelled, sitting up and staring at his bare wrist. "My watch! It just... it just vanished!"
"He's got the watch!" I yelled, hitting the comms. "Protocol, we have a 'Micro-Theft' in progress! Jenny, target the 'Chum Bucket'! Danny (Phantom), use your ghost-sense to track the green-energy trail! Ellie, you're the 'Interception' team—if he tries to 'Go Big' underwater, we're going to have a tsunami!"
"On it!" Ellie chirped, diving into the water and turning into a white-and-black streak.
I looked at the 'Low-Stakes' meter. 25%. Plankton had successfully pulled off the greatest heist in the history of the Protocol, and he had done it using a soda can.
"Sheila," I said, running toward the van. "If Plankton manages to activate the Omnitrix while he's inside that suit, what happens?"
["Calculations suggest a 'Biological-Mechanical Feedback Loop,' Danny,"] Sheila replied. ["If a one-inch copepod transforms into a 'Way Big' alien while under the ocean, the displacement of water will literally erase Bikini Bottom from the map. Also, the watch's AI is currently fighting Plankton's 'Neural-Patch.' It's... confused."]
"We have to stop him before he hits the 'Transform' button," I said, grabbing a "Micro-Containment Unit" I'd been building for Pips.
As we raced toward the 'Chum Bucket,' I saw Jenny skating across the surface of the water, her jet-boots creating a massive wake. "Danny! I have a lock on the signal! But he's already entering the laboratory! He's shouting something about... 'The Age of Plankton'!"
"Not today, Sheldon," I whispered.
The mission was a masterclass in 'Possible' intervention. We burst into the Chum Bucket to find Plankton standing on his computer console, holding the nickel-sized Omnitrix above his head.
"POWER! UNLIMITED POWER!" Plankton screamed, his tiny hand reaching for the dial. "I shall become the Way-Big-Plankton! And I shall start by stepping on the 'Salty Spitoon'!"
"Plankton, stop!" SpongeBob yelled, running in with a spatula. "The watch isn't for stepping! It's for... for helping! Like a giant, alien hug!"
"NO HUGS! ONLY DESTRUCTION!"
Plankton slammed the dial.
A massive, green explosion of energy filled the room. But Pips—acting on my 'Immediate Response' command—had already phased into the Chum Bucket's power grid. He didn't stop the transformation; he 'Redirected' it.
Instead of becoming a 100-foot tall alien, the Omnitrix—confused by the 'Neural-Patch' and Pips' interference—transformed Plankton into... a Krabby Patty.
A giant, sentient, green-glowing Krabby Patty with a single, tiny eye and a very angry voice.
"WHAT? NO! THIS ISN'T POWER! THIS IS... THIS IS DELICIOUS!" Plankton-Patty roared, his sesame-seed buns vibrating with rage.
"Mystery... served with a side of fries," I said, stepping forward and using the "Micro-Containment Unit" to snatch the Omnitrix back from the patty's 'hand' (which was actually a piece of lettuce).
The 'Low-Stakes' meter dropped to 10%. The watch was safe, the ocean was intact, and Plankton was currently a very frustrated sandwich.
But the romance sub-plots were currently 'Swimming' in the victory as well.
Jenny walked up to me, her metal skin still wet from the bay. She looked at the 'Plankton-Patty,' then at me. "Danny? My 'Culinary-Logic' says that 'Plankton' is now 400% more appetising than he was five minutes ago. But my 'Date-Logic' says that you're still the only one I want to share a meal with."
"I'm glad to hear it, Jenny," I whispered, taking her hand. "Even if that meal is a sentient, alien-powered burger."
Jenny's cooling fans whirred in a happy, rhythmic pulse.
Meanwhile, Ben was currently trying to figure out how to put the Omnitrix back on his wrist. "Thanks, Danny. I... I guess I should have been paying attention. Plankton is a lot faster than he looks."
"It's the small ones you have to watch out for, Ben," I said, patting his shoulder. "Low-stakes. Always."
I looked at the team: the Middleton crew, the Amity crew, the Bikini Bottom sponge, the geniuses, the time-travelers, and the Loud strategist. We were a family of heroes, even under the sea.
["Danny,"] Sheila's voice rang in my ear. ["I've updated the dossier. New Entry: 'Sentient-Culinary Containment.' Also, Mr. Krabs just asked if he can 'Buy' the Plankton-Patty for a promotional event. I suggest we say no. It's a health code violation in at least six dimensions."]
"Good call, Sheila. Let's get out of here. I'm starting to prune."