Oakhaven, Massachusetts, was the kind of town that looked like it had been designed by a postcard company specifically to sell maple syrup and "I Survived the Witch's Ghost" t-shirts. It was quaint, it was historical, and it was currently crawling with the Mystery Inc. crew—who apparently hadn't taken the hint from the Middleton textile mill.
"Sheila," I said, stepping off the "Possible" shuttle bus. I was wearing a heavy flannel shirt over my vest to blend in with the locals. "Tell me we're here for the autumn leaves and not because Velma Dinkley has found a 'Thermal-Ecto' spike near the old apothecary."
["I have some news, Danny, and it's a 'Classic' risk,"] Sheila replied. ["It seems the Mystery Machine followed the 'Ghost-Themed Mini-Golf' lead I planted last time we encountered them, but they took a detour through Oakhaven. Velma is currently convinced that the 'Possible Protocol' is a cover for a secret government agency that is 'Farming' urban legends for energy."]
"She's too smart for her own good," I sighed. "Protocol, listen up. We need to stay 'Low-Stakes.' If the Scooby gang sees Jenny or Ben in alien-form, we're going to be on the cover of The National Inquisitor by morning."
"I'm ready for my close-up!" Ellie chirped, floating invisibly above my head. "Can I haunt their van? I want to see if they really keep a giant supply of snacks in the back."
"No haunting, Ellie," I said. "Just observation."
We found the Mystery Inc. crew at the town square, surrounded by a group of local kids—the "Hex Girls" fans who were looking for a 'Real' haunting. Fred was currently explaining a complex trap involving a giant magnet and a vat of maple syrup.
"Like, Scoob, I don't think the 'Ghost of the Apothecary' is into syrup!" Shaggy whimpered, clutching a giant sandwich. "I think he's more into... eating us!"
"Ree! Reating us!" Scooby-Doo agreed, his teeth chattering.
"Nonsense!" Velma said, her glasses glinting. "The 'Ghost' is clearly a localized electromagnetic phenomenon caused by the town's unique mineral deposits. Or, as I suspect, it's a distraction created by those 'Possible' kids from Middleton."
She turned around and spotted us. "Aha! I knew you'd show up!"
"Jeepers, it's them!" Daphne said, looking at Kim and Jenny. "The girls from the textile mill!"
I stepped forward, my "Producer" glasses reflecting the autumn sun. "We're just here for the 'Witch-Fest,' Velma. We heard the Hex Girls were playing a surprise set."
"The Hex Girls?" Sam Manson's eyes lit up. "Wait, the actual eco-goth rock band? Okay, this mission just became high-priority."
"I'm a huge fan!" Jenny added, her internal speakers hummed with excitement. "I've already downloaded their entire discography! My 'Rhythm-Matrix' is ready to rock!"
"The Hex Girls are great," Velma said, her eyes narrowing. "But they don't explain the 'Glowing Mist' that's been appearing in the woods every night at 9:00 PM."
"It's the Baskerville frequency!" Jimmy Neutron whispered to me, pulling out a scanner. "It's a remnant of the 'Anchor' energy. It's not a ghost, it's a Chronological After-Image. The woods are 'playing back' a scene from 1692 on a loop!"
"If Velma sees a literal 'After-Image' of a witch-trial, she's going to investigate until she finds the source," I realized. "Pips! Protocol: 'The Filter'!"
Pips phased out of my pocket. The little wisp had been studying the "Mystery Inc." patterns and knew exactly what they were looking for: a guy in a mask.
"Pips," I commanded. "Merge with the mist. Turn the 'After-Image' into a 'Disgruntled Tourist-Board Member' in a rubber suit. Give them a 'Rational Explanation' they can't ignore."
Pips let out a digital chirrup and shot into the woods.
That night, under the full moon, the Mystery Inc. crew and the Possible Protocol followed the 'Glowing Mist' to a clearing. A terrifying, translucent figure in a pointed hat began to rise from the ground, let out a moan, and...
...tripped over a tree root.
"GOTCHA!" Fred yelled, pulling a lever.
A giant net (sticky with maple syrup) fell from the trees, capturing the 'Ghost.' Pips, acting as the 'Motor' for the burlap-suit he'd constructed, let out a very human-sounding "Oof!"
Fred ran forward and pulled the mask off the 'Ghost.'
Revealed inside was... a high-tech robotic dummy wearing a t-shirt that read: "OAKHAVEN TOURISM BOARD - WE PUT THE 'BOO' IN BOUTIQUE."
"Aha!" Fred yelled. "I knew it! It was just... a very sophisticated promotional robot! Designed to 'scare up' business for the festival!"
Velma looked at the dummy, her brow furrowed. "A robot? But the energy readings were... wait. This looks exactly like the tech from the Middleton mill."
"The Tourism Board must have bought it from the same supplier," I said smoothly, stepping into the clearing. "You know how it is, Velma. These small towns share 'Special Effects' kits to save money."
Velma looked at me, then at the dummy, then at the Hex Girls who were currently warming up on a nearby stage. She let out a long, frustrated sigh. "I suppose that makes sense. A bit too much sense."
"Like, who cares about the sense, Velma!" Shaggy cheered. "The 'Ghost' is a robot! That means it's time for... HEX GIRLS!"
As the Hex Girls took the stage, the tension broke. The crowd (and the Scooby gang) were lost in the music. Pips phased out of the dummy and back into my pocket, looking very proud of his 'Acting' debut.
I looked at the 'Low-Stakes' meter. 5%. The secret was safe, the tourists were happy, and the Mystery Inc. crew was once again convinced that 'Reason' had won the day.
But the romance sub-plots were currently 'Rocking' as well.
Sam Manson was in the front row, actually smiling as she watched the Hex Girls. Danny Fenton was standing next to her, trying to look cool in a leather jacket he'd 'borrowed' from the Protocol's costume department. "They're pretty good, right?"
Sam looked at him, her eyes softening. "They're the best, Danny. And you don't look half-bad in that jacket. It's... very 'Grave-Digger Chic.'"
Ben and Cyd were currently in a 'Dance-Off' during the Hex Girls' set. Ben was using a bit of 'Speed-Frequency' to keep up with Cyd's 'Time-Jump' reflexes. "You're fast, Cyd! But can you do the 'Alien-Shuffle'?"
Cyd laughed, her eyes glowing. "Watch me, Watch-Boy!"
I looked at Jenny. She was 'singing' along to the Hex Girls, her voice perfectly synchronized with the lead singer. She looked at me, her eyes a soft, pulsing cyan. "Danny? My 'Emotional-Resonance' sensors are at 99%. This is the best 'Mission' we've ever had."
"It's a good night, Jenny," I whispered, taking her hand as the Hex Girls launched into 'I'm a Hex Girl.'
["Danny,"] Sheila's voice rang in my ear. ["I've updated the dossier. Mystery Inc.: Role: Successfully Misdirected. Again. Also, Fred just asked me for my 'Number.' I told him it was 1-800-LOW-STAKES. He seemed confused."]
"Good girl, Sheila. Let's enjoy the show."