God damn it, if they break my mom's vase, I swear to God I will call the police. This is not how I wanted this to go.
And yes, I am judging myself right now for doing this dumb party.
I have absolutely no idea how Harry talked me into this. She has always been convincing, but she pulled all the ropes this time: the full-on puppy dog eyes and wiggly tail. With her petite features and her golden retriever mossy hair, she didn't really need to try that hard.
Right now she is dancing with her boyfriend. Last year they got together, and I'm glad for the two of them, but they are super clingy. Clint buries his head in her hair while she waggles her ass to his crotch, looking practically pornographic. Good for the two of them.
I look around the kitchen, looking for cleaning supplies. Someone puked over the sitting room, and I see him. My entire body goes still, my heart beating out of rhythm.
It's Jacks, I bumped into him in the hallway before econ.
I was carrying two six-packs that were way too heavy for me, and when I was about to drop them, he caught them for me in a very non-douchebag kind of way.
He offered to carry them for me to the car. I was using the break to buy supplies for the party. I remember his strange quirk of an eyebrow as he asked me how the hell a nerd like me gets her hands on beer and why.
Trying to dodge him, I avoided eye contact, mumbled something about the party, and when he questioned me more, I panicked and invited him. I just assumed that he would not come, but now he's here, and I'm feeling things that I have absolutely no right to feel.
I always had a huge crush on him, like most girls in the school, but he was a notorious asshole, and I knew better than that train wreck.
I try to look anywhere else but on his face. When I see the washing towels, I realize they're right behind Jacks.
Again avoiding eye contact, I Circle my hands around him trying to get to the towels. My body inclines to him, he inhales deeply. I trying to mumble an apology, but he has his eyes locked on me, making me nervous. As my hands fumble around him trying to get to the washing towels, he has his hands on my waist, and I freeze. I tried to keep my voice as clear as possible. "What are you doing?"
I feel my face completely flush. "You were the one who was grazing herself all over me." His voice is cool but icy, but his smirk lets me know that he likes me this way. What the hell is happening?
I try to inch back, but he tightens the grip on my waist. I frown, trying to understand what he's doing. In a steady clam voice I say, "yeah, I'm trying to clean the mess in the sitting room. You're standing in the way of the washing towels, and I'm trying to get to them."
"Sure," he doesn't sound convinced, and neither am I, to be honest. I tried to walk away, but I can still feel his eyes on my back.
-------
I started dancing to the music, not particularly comfortable talking to anyone. although I invited every person here.
I closed my eyes, although I could feel the searing energy of eyeballs drilling into me, feeling drunker than before. I opened them, seeing Jacks with an intense, unreadable expression that sends waves of heat into my body. I move away from the crowd, trying to avoid his eyes, but they're always on me.
I bump into a chest. I apologize, "Sorry," looking up and realizing it's Raven, the blonde with dimples always flirting with cheerleaders since he's on the team.
I get lost for a moment in the field of his body against mine when he's holding me, smiling, opening his mouth to reveal the set of teeth white as chalk. I can still feel the searing, burning look on my back, so to let me forget the weird or staring at me, I stammer, "Do you want to dance with me?"
His grin widens, I pull him to the dance floor. My pull is a little too tight, but he doesn't seem to notice it because his front is into my back, and we both dance against the music, falling into a rhythm. I started to relax again, forgetting about the man burning lasers into my body, until I felt something hard against my ass and his hands on my waist.
His hands are hard on my body, and when I try to move from his hold, he tightens his hands on my hips. Whispering something to my ear that I'm sure is important, but I can't hear anything because I can see only him.
Jakes comes barreling in and I barely recognizes the sheer rage in his eyes when he pulls Raven out of the dance. He hold the area between his shoulder and his neck that seems way too tight to be friendly. He whispers something to his ear, and then he turns very pale, very fast, before he runs off.
I stand frozen, heart hammering, wanting to run from whatever the fuck just happened because what the hell did Jack think about when he walked into this?
He seems as confused just like I am. a burning gaze lingering between us.
I start dancing again because I don't know what to do besides that. Resuming that land-loose movement that felt natural only a few minutes ago, I still, when I feel his body against mine, Jack starts to join my movements behind me, his hands careful on my waist.
I keep moving, pretending. I did not feel a single thing, not even a single thing changed, but I cannot pretend when his hands start moving towards my stomach, just lingering for a beat in a question. My breath hitches at the contact; he can feel that since he leans over towards the shell of my ear, whispering, "Are you okay? Is this okay?"
I give a shaking nod. He just scared the shit out of someone for me, so I let him have this. I still haven't turned to look at him. Silence stretching between us so much more louder than the beating sounds. When the song changes, I turn towards him, giving him a shy smile and walking away.
----
Apparently I got drunk. Really drunk.
Because I am standing on a table dancing, and I think I took off a shirt and maybe my pants because I think I only have my panties and my thin bra.
Someone from the crowd now gathered to watch me shout, "Take off your panties!"
Suddenly it doesn't seems like a such bad idea. I reach down, fumbling with the material.
My world shifts because someone is hauling me over their shoulder like I'm a sack of potatoes. I scream and scratch on their back, but they don't seem to mind it. Once they set me down, I go completely still.
It's Jacks, he looks pissed as hell.
I mumble, "Jacks?"
His breath dances on my neck, and it makes me slightly shiver in response. "Are you okay?"
I'm realizing he's panting. Is he worried?
"I think I am... drunker than normal." I clutch on my temples, trying to regain my footing. He catches me, but the movement makes me hot in a whole sort of different way.
He doesn't release the hand he has on my exposed back, but it seems more nervous than he should be. He fumbles with his words, "do you want to sit down? I can get you a drink... Water! Not beer..."
I say the word differently this time, "Jacks?"
It is as if his name is some sort of magical thing I tested on my tongue. I don't know why but I reach up to his cheek feeling it. I can feel his pulse as a speeding. Suddenly the hand on my back is moving and trailing up a line of fire that makes me feel incredible.
The alcohol still dances in my stomach, but it makes me somehow feel braver than I am.
I clutch on to his hand, making a rash decision. I pull him to the stairs, guiding him to my room. He's hesitant, but he follows when I let him into my room, closing it. He pulls me to him, hot, kissing me.
It's wet and slow and feels like it can last forever. I arch up, but he readjusts my waist, hauling my ass to the wall. And suddenly the position I'm in is holy different, because I'm feeling his hard length pushing towards my clit. I'm only wearing panties right now and a really thin bra. Right now they feel like air.
He reaches towards me, but before that, he looks me dead in the eyes and says, "Ask me for it."
I crinkle my eyebrows, not understanding, "what?"
"Ask for it." He punctuates, "I want you to say it, say you want me."
My pulse races out of my chest. I feel like I'm going to burst, but somehow I find my words clear. "Jacks, fuck me, please."
He doesn't even wait for a second. One minute his hands are on my waist, and another they're on my clit, rubbing at it.
And fuck, I'm moaning embarrassingly loud. I want to clamp my hands to my mouth, but he is holding it at bay, and I think I'm going to fall right the fuck down if I don't hold on to him.
I can't believe this. I can't believe I'm dry humping the star athlete of my high school. The dude who wouldn't even give me a glance yesterday is rubbing against my clit in all the right ways.
He latches on with one finger, circling it, giving more attention to my neck, and I'm more than willing to give him access to both. My words always fumble and falter around other people, but with him it's only pleas.
I breathlessly moan, "more."
He makes the sound that sounds like a growl of a beast, adding a finger that makes me gag on my breath.
The heat that builds up in me is about to crash, and I don't want it to. I want to hold on to it and ride it to eternity.
He desperately clings on to me. "Rachel…"
His hard length was pressing deep, but he still didn't get into me. Although I want him desperately, I need to come off this high, this insanity. I let him know that I'm desperately over at least clutching on to him tighter.
Jacks keep fasting the speed, keeping a ruthless ribbon. When I finally explode, it feels like lightning going through my body.
Is this supposed to feel like an out body experience? I heard some girls talking about orgasms but it didn't talk about this kind of feeling.
I see something slick around his eyes fear? mistrust?
He drops me from his hold, limbs feeling heavy. I want to drop into a puddle to the floor.
That smirk. The one that makes me feel like he wants something. I frown, not understanding.
"Now it's my turn. Get on your knees."
I blanched back, surprised. "I don't understand."
"Don't act all innocent. You were dropping your panties a minute ago going downstairs. Now you're acting all how all high mighty now?"
My heart plummets, this douchebag thinks I'm going to suck on him and fuck him. How do I even do that?
I step back, trying to figure out how I will pull this off. My heart beating faster, my hands skimming his waistband, but he caught my arm and gripped it tight. I winced from pain, he let go just as fast. "Whore," then he turned his back on me. Not even look back before he shut down the door getting out.
I fell back into my bed, humiliated by the experience.