AKIHIRO ATLAS
When I leaned against the wall, the coldness I felt on my back didn't just come from the hardness of the stone; it was as if that surface also absorbed the mess inside me and reflected it back to me more intensely. My eyes were fixed on the space opposite, but I wasn't really looking at anything. My mind... was torn in dozens of different directions at the same time. Urizen's words, Nyoko's broken voice, Cistern's name, the deleted records, Kira, the conspiracy... they were all intertwined. Everything had to have a meaning, but what I see now... is just a chaotic mess. The most disturbing thing in this chaos was the feeling that something was too late. It was as if things hadn't just changed while I was away... they had also been pushed to an irreversible point.
Or, I felt that way because people put the irreversible point there as if they were putting a period in an unfinished sentence.
I took a breath. But it wasn't a relief. My chest expanded, but the pressure inside me didn't subside. On the contrary, it became more pronounced. Sometimes the closer one gets to understanding something, the more disturbed one becomes... because understanding means one cannot deny it.
I heard her footsteps.
It was light. It was familiar. But this time, hearing that sound didn't evoke the same neutral feeling as before. There was a place in me that wanted to be alone at that moment. Because there are some thoughts, when someone is next to you, you can't fully feel them. But even so... I didn't want to stop him from coming.
I didn't look up when Nyoko stood next to me. My eyes were still fixed on the same spot. But I could almost feel her presence as if it were a physical weight. She waited a short while before speaking. Then she leaned against the wall like I was leaning. This waiting... showed that she was in no hurry. That she chose what she had to say. And maybe... she was holding back to avoid hurting me.
Finally she spoke.
"You learned things that would upset you... right?"
Her voice was soft but direct. This wasn't a question she didn't know the answer to. It was more of a sentence that allowed the answer to be stated.
I didn't turn my head towards her. I merely nodded with a very slight movement. This movement... was heavier than I had thought. Because that little head movement contained many things I didn't want to admit.
Yes.
It was sad.
And what was worse than that... was the possibility that it might be true.
Nyoko approached me, but didn't close the distance completely. She leaned against the wall, at the same level as me. A small gap remained between us. This gap… was neither distance nor closeness. It was more like respect. One person giving space to the other.
She didn't speak for a while. But this silence… wasn't disturbing. On the contrary, it made the noise in my mind become a little clearer.
"People usually..." she finally began, her voice coming from a deeper place this time, "...try to avoid getting upset."
This sentence was simple, but there was an air of certainty in its tone. It wasn't a thought… it seemed like the result of something experienced.
"Because the pain... feels like something that can't be controlled," she continued. "It reminds you that something has slipped out of your hands. No matter how strong you are, no matter how prepared you are... some things you cannot prevent.
I didn't close my eyes at this point but my focus changed. I was listening to her. Really.
"And people..." she said, with a short pause, "hate things they can't control."
That sentence... hit me somewhere inside.
Because it was true. Rejecting things that had no flaws was one of the things I did most often. After all, that's how I grew up. However, I couldn't deny it.
But there was one thing I could say: I... wasn't just hating it.
Moreover, Nyoko talking about people and doing so truthfully... It makes me feel awkward. Throughout my life, there have been many moments when I have thought incorrectly about them. However, I am a human being. Nyoko, on the other hand, was of a different race. She was one of those Oni about whom I didn't know much. She had come from a different Sacred Domain.
At that time, Nyoko continued her remarks:
"But maybe that's why... it's necessary."
I turned my head slightly to her. This time my gaze was clearer.
Nyoko's eyes had drifted to a distant point, but what she said still belonged to me.
"Things that make you sad... are part of fate, Aki," she said slowly. "They'll come even if you don't want them to. Even if you run away, they will find you. And most of the time... you can't change them."
The moment I heard this sentence, a reaction rose up in me. I didn't let it out right away. But it was there. It was clear.
You can't change it.
That word… was said as if it were something I had to accept.
But I... wasn't ready to accept it.
Nyoko seemed to notice this reaction and turned to me. Her eyes were more observant this time.
"And..." she said, her voice softening a little more, "a person who is not sad... can't really understand being happy either."
This sentence was... more serious.
Because it wasn't just a fact... it was like a condition. It was a requirement. Above all, it was something I had to be able to do.
"Happiness," she continued, "is not just the sum of good moments. Being able to continue despite losses... being able to love something even after being hurt."
Silence returned between us.
But this time... it was different.
I had to think in this silence.
I couldn't run away.
I put my head back against the wall. The coldness was more pronounced this time. It was as if that coldness had deepened with what she had said.
I didn't speak for a long time.
Then, slowly, I spoke, struggling to find the words:
"I... I'm not running away from being sad."
My voice was calm.
But there was something suppressed underneath.
"I just..." I paused, I had to choose the words, "...I don't want to get used to this."
When this sentence came out... something inside me became clear.
This wasn't a weakness.
This... was a rejection.
Nyoko didn't respond immediately after that sentence.
But she didn't leave.
She stayed by my side.
And at that moment I understood...
Sometimes the greatest answer someone can give you is to stay by your side without trying to change you.
We remained silent for about a few minutes, and then Nyoko slowly crouched down to the ground and sat down. I sat down on the ground in the same way, as if copying him.
We waited for a while. Then she sighed and spoke.
Nyoko's voice did not come directly this time as before; it was slower, more careful. It was as if he himself felt the weight of what she was about to ask. There was hesitation in her eyes as she looked at me, but she didn't back down.
"When you've been here all this time... with Magnus..." she said, choosing the words, "have you learned about happiness, General Aki?"
This question... wasn't something I expected.
But at the same time... it was something I couldn't escape.
Before responding to her, I giggled sarcastically and said, "So we've become generals now?" I said.
Nyoko missed her gaze and only got a "Hmph" from her.
And I, on the other hand, did not take my eyes off her. I didn't say anything for a few seconds. Because the answer I would give to the question she was really asking couldn't be simple. This… wasn't something that could be brushed aside with a "yes" or "no".
I took a breath. This time it was heavier.
"Happiness..." I began, weighing the word in my mouth, as if I had to redefine its meaning, "it has never been a constant thing for me, Lieutenant Nyoko."
She quickly turned to me. "So we became lieutenants now?" she said and puffed out her cheeks with anger.
My gaze drifted away for a moment, then returned to her. To make her feel a little more at ease, I smiled in a calm tone.
"Magnus didn't teach me happiness," I said. My voice was calm, but the weight in it was not hidden. "But the time I spent with him... he taught me what happiness is not."
I gave a short pause.
"Happiness... wasn't a moment. It wasn't an outcome. It wasn't a reward that comes when you achieve something. It wasn't anything at all."
My eyes narrowed slightly.
"Because I… saw how even the things I had achieved were taken away from me."
This sentence... sank deeper into me.
But I continued.
"When I was with Magnus... I saw strength. I saw control. I saw a will that could change everything." My voice has become a little harsher. "But inside that power... I also saw a void. No matter how big it is... it's a void that can't bring anything back.
I exhaled slowly.
"And that's when I realized," I said in a lower tone, "happiness... is not about what you have."
I bowed my head slightly.
"It's about what you can still hold on to after what you've lost."
This time, my eyes locked directly on Nyoko.
"I have not learned happiness," I said clearly. "I... found out how fragile she is."
I leaned forward very slightly, and my voice deepened.
"And maybe that's why..." I said, the words coming out heavier now, "I stopped seeing him as a thing."
A short silence.
Then, I said my last sentences more clearly, more sharply:
"Happiness is no longer within reach for me, Lieutenant Nyoko. It's... it's something that needs to be protected."
My eyes never shifted. This time, too, she was looking directly at me without taking her eyes off me. Her eyes were slightly narrowed, and perhaps my seriousness was making him a bit tense, but the topic we were discussing was truly important to both of our lives.
"And if I've really learned that... then what I've learned from Magnus is not happiness."
I stopped for a moment.
Then, almost in a whisper but with a firm tone, I concluded:
"How easy it is to lose it."
In Nyoko's silence, I too began to wait.
However, I noticed the real meaning when I looked at her face.
She wasn't speaking, but she was smiling while looking at me.
When I turned to look at him, I stared in astonishment.
Her eyes were filled with tears but they sparkled; she said this to me in her low but sweet and happy voice.
"If you have found a way to create your own happiness... you should walk that path, General." The general had especially emphasized the part.
I think women always like to throw a little tantrum.
Nyoko's smile seemed to brighten my night. Although her light blue hair was not very obvious in the dark, the fact that even the light from outside made her eyes shine made her words even more meaningful.
"You're right… Nyoko." I smiled too.
I smiled not out of force, but with my own feelings.
"Thank you." she said.
Her eyes seemed to sparkle for the first time.
I hugged Nyoko. Her head came to rest on my shoulder.
She didn't react for a few seconds; she must have been surprised. However, then she hugged me too.
"I will not stay here, I will use my last remaining months to improve myself. I know, we've lost a lot. Cistern must have been having a hard time for a long time. However, I'm not worried about a piece of land. I will protect my lands no matter what, but my priority is my people. As a general, I must protect all the people of Cistern, especially those in the area my team is responsible for. If I cannot make those responsible pay for what was done to my people when I return... This mission has no meaning."
After my words, Nyoko pushed her head back and looked me directly in the eyes.
"You've grown up, Aki."
It was true; it had been nine years since I arrived at Cistern. Since I arrived, Lieutenant Nyoko had remained the same. Because she is a queen, the age scale works differently from me. His body is aging late. However, one of the people who had seen me grow up... was the fastest person in Cistern history, so he usually patrolled Cistern at a speed that people like us couldn't see, and that's why I don't even know how many times she watched me grow up.
"My goal on this journey was to find myself, Lieutenant Nyoko—"
She gently punched me in the chest.
"The first fact is this: I am no longer a lieutenant." I want you to stop this habit of yours for now... Because it makes me a little emotional. The second fact is, if you call me lieutenant one more time, I will cut off your head."
I don't know whether to laugh or be sad right now, but he was just like me...
She's unhappy because she was unfairly kicked out of Cistern. Undoubtedly, being separated from one's people is painful.
I replied in a tone mixed with a hint of humor.
"I've always wanted to call you by your first name anyway." I made her soften a little by saying, and I pulled my arms away from his body, took a step back, and got back into the word.
"Finding myself... I've been thinking about this for too long. Why does a person live? That was my answer. My purpose in life is to find my own essence... To discover the truth of what I believe and what I truly believe in."
Nyoko placed her hand under her chin and smiled.
"Did you find it at least?"
I narrowed my eyes a little.
"I think a journey is not limited to a single place. The real journey is the result of the experiences we gain. Therefore, Akihiro Atlas, who has not gained enough experience, will not be able to find his true essence. However, at this part of my journey I realized that..."
I paused for a moment. The side of the shed behind us was a completely open expanse. I walked over there and got out. Nyoko was coming behind me, but she was taking much slower steps than I was. She had deliberately kept his distance from me; I looked up at the sky and said the following.
"I still want to be a fool who saves someone in difficult moments. However, I also have the right to determine who is worthy of being saved. Because just as not every person deserves this... There may also be enemies who deserve to be saved."
Nyoko closed her eyes with a proud expression and joined her fingertips with her palm open, "This means something." said.
I nodded in agreement.
"Then go. Akihiro Atlas, I'm sure you'll learn too at the end of this journey. Your true self. I trust you."
I turned my back to him again.
"Thank you for taking care of me."
"You're welcome."
"There must be something I can do, I want to pay for what they have done."
Nyoko remained silent for a while, and before I could even sense her moving, she had come up behind me and hugged me from behind.
"Can you convince Hiroshi that I have always cared for him and that I am not the treacherous master who betrayed our own Sacred Domain as he thinks...?"
Team 7's General: Hiroshi Matsumoto.
Nyoko's student.
What does it mean for a master to be a traitor... I can't understand it. However, if such a thing had happened to me... I mean, if there had been something like Master Shu, a traitor. My life would fall apart; I would think that everything I knew was a lie and that using all I had learned would be a betrayal of both myself and my people.
How terrible.
I can imagine what difficult times Hiroshi is going through right now. Even though two years have passed, he must not have gotten over it.
"I will do it, I will prove that you didn't do such a thing, and I will show Hiroshi the truth." I said, my voice showed that I truly believed in myself.
After resting her head on my back for a few more seconds, her body slowly detached from my cloak and she took a few steps back.
I was about to turn around when she grabbed me again with her hand and then pushed me forward.
"Hey!"
"Don't turn your back! Didn't you say there were more things to find?"
...
"Yes."
This wasn't the reason why she definitely didn't want me to come back; I could clearly hear the tearful tone in her voice.
"Then go to your future, Aki."
I closed my eyes and smiled. Then I raised my hand slightly upward and then waved it to say goodbye.
My body was covered with lightning bolts, and I left Team 11's barracks at an incredible speed. I've gone far, far away.
The moment Nyoko said, "Then go to your future, Aki." that sentence wasn't a farewell; it was a direction. That's the reason for the slight smile that appeared on my face when I closed my eyes, because for the first time I didn't know where to go, I also knew what I was going to face. When I raised my hand to say goodbye, there was a strange silence within me—neither peace nor restlessness. It's more like the space that comes after something has been decided upon. Then, when my body was enveloped by lightning, even my thoughts lagged behind that speed. Baraka, Nyoko, that moment... they were all behind me at once. All that remains is action.
After a long journey, I set foot on Earth again.
One thing I was certain of was that I was definitely not the same person I was 3 years ago.
Ben and I who set foot on this land today are completely different people from that day. Even this World... feels different now
When I set foot on Earth, the first thing I noticed, different from three years ago, was the sounds. Unlike the artificial order in Cistern, nothing was completely under control here. I used to think the two Sacred Domains were the same. Noise, disorder, contradiction... but also a rhythm. In the intervening days I have only observed. I've watched things that I didn't realize in these 3 years... how people look at each other, how they talk, how they lie and how they hide the truth. And most importantly... what they fear losing.
Kings and Queens... they were not a natural part of this world. They were more like beings who had been forced onto this world. Their presence was disrupting the area they occupied. Keeping them away from civilians was not just a duty, but a necessity. Because everything they came into contact with was changing. And this change was often irreversible.
In the first weeks, my interventions were more direct. When I prevented a scout sent by a Queen from approaching the settlement area, I saw that unconscious hunger in her gaze. These entities were not only a threat; they were also a deficiency. They were acting as if they wanted to complete something, but they themselves didn't know what they wanted to complete. This... made them more dangerous.
But people...
People were different.
They too were incomplete.
But how they carried their shortcomings defined them.
By the second week, I not only protected it. I observed. I got closer. I helped—but unseen. I left a child's lost toy in its place. I noticed a man's load about to fall and balanced it unseen. I erased the fear that a woman feels when she walks alone in the middle of the night... by eliminating the impending threat. These were small things. But the impact of these small things on people was greater than I had thought.
People were strange.
They were fragile.
But at the same time... they were stubborn.
They were devastated when they lost something, but the next day they were up again. Sometimes they didn't even know themselves why they were getting up. But they were getting up. This… wasn't weakness. This… was something else.
What I noticed in the third and fourth weeks was this: People weren't seeking happiness. At least not in the way I thought they were. They were searching for meaning. And that meaning was often hidden not in big things, but in small repetitions. Walking down the same street, talking to the same person, making the same mistake again... and yet continuing.
For example, I watched a man. He was sitting on the same bench at the same time every day. The old me used to think it was a habit. But as the days passed, I realized... that bank bench wasn't the reason he was sitting there. He had once talked to someone there. And that conversation... it no longer existed. But that man was returning to the same place to avoid losing that memory. This... didn't make sense.
But it was real.
People didn't have to be rational.
They… had to hold on.
After the fifth week, my task became more difficult. The scouts sent by the King and Queens to this Sacred Domain have started to become more aggressive. It was as if something was guiding them. They weren't acting randomly anymore. There was a pattern. I haven't figured it out completely yet... but I could feel it. And this feeling... was disturbing.
I can't forget the moment when I dragged a criminal out of a city one night and he looked at me. That look... it wasn't empty. There was something inside him. Something unfamiliar, yet not entirely foreign. It was as if he wanted to say something but couldn't.
At that moment I thought…
Perhaps these beings were not merely threats.
Perhaps... they were the result of something.
In the sixth and seventh weeks, I started to notice more about people. Their greatest strength... was that they were connected to each other. But that was also their biggest weakness. They were sacrificing themselves to protect each other. This was strategically illogical. But they were still doing it.
And this... made them unpredictable.
A mother jumped in front of a killer to protect her child. It didn't make sense. But at that moment… that was the right thing for that woman. I intervened. I saved them. But at that moment… I realized this:
People don't calculate what's "right".
They choose what's "valuable".
And this choice... changes everything.
After two months... I wasn't tired. But I had changed. Observing people, protecting them... had taught me more than I had realized. They were flawed. Full of contradictions. It was weak. But at the same time… they were continuing.
And this… was not something to be underestimated.
I looked at the sky that day.
I could feel time running out.
Cistern…
My return was imminent.
But something inside me... wasn't complete.
"It's not over yet," I told myself, my voice calm but firm. "Before I return... there is one more thing I must do."
This was not a mission.
It was... a choice.
Determining a direction.
I bowed my head slightly, closed my eyes and focused on that feeling.
"And I will do this… today."
Then I opened my eyes.
And I took action.
Even though I kept myself busy with tasks, observations, and constant movement for two months... there was something deep within my mind that never stopped. Beneath everything, there was a feeling that kept returning to the same point. It didn't make sense. It had no direction that could be mapped out. But it was undeniably clear.
I didn't know where he was. There was no trail, no coordinates, no system that I could use to find him. There was no contract between us, no meeting point. But despite this... there was a certainty inside me that I couldn't explain. It was as if a place shared for two years had ceased to be merely a physical space and had transformed into a kind of fixed point. Even though times changed and people dispersed, that spot remained.
And I... I knew where I needed to go.
When night fell, I didn't stop. I didn't think. The decision had already been made. When my body was torn to pieces by lightning, there was only movement left; the air split open, distances lost their meaning. The lights of the cities passed under me, the sounds were left behind, the world turned into a line. But my mind was... fixed on one point.
That place.
Home.
A place that no longer exists... but doesn't exist either.
When I got there, my speed slowed down. The lightning was extinguished, my body was reshaped. When my feet touched the ground, the first thing I noticed was the silence. This silence was unnatural. It was as if this place had been cut off from the rest of time. Neither exactly past nor exactly present.
I looked around.
Nothing was the same as before.
There were no walls. There was no ceiling. Nothing remained that made the room a room. But still... the layout was the same. Even the gaps had a memory. My body knew where something should be. There was a table here. There's a window there. In that corner... where Magnus usually stands.
And then...
I saw him.
He was already there.
I didn't move.
But a momentary emptiness formed inside me. It was a feeling of surprise—but it didn't show on the outside. I didn't let it reflect back. Because this… wasn't impossible.
I was waiting.
Maybe… I knew.
Magnus leaned his back against the remains of a half-collapsed wall. He had a posture with his head slightly tilted to the side, as if he had been there for a long time. His presence... made even this ruin the center.
Our eyes met.
At that moment...
Time slowed down for a brief moment.
But I... I looked away.
I was the first to look away.
I couldn't fully explain the reason for this. Maybe it was a reflex, maybe it was the weight of two months. But my eyes slipped from him. It's like if I held that look a little longer... things I didn't want to say would be revealed.
Silence settled Decently between us again.
But this time... it was familiar.
Magnus was the first to speak.
"This is the last time I'll be here today."
His voice was calm. It was measured as always. But the word "for the last time" in that sentence... weighed heavier than anything else.
I turned my head back to him. My eyebrows are slightly furrowed.
"For the last time?I said.
This time I couldn't hide the surprise in my voice.
"What do you mean?"
I was stuck on the word. Because it wasn't... a simple statement. When Magnus said "for the last time," it really meant the end.
"For the last time... what?" I continued, fixing my gaze. "Come here? Or..."
I didn't finish the sentence.
But the meaning was clear.
Magnus raised his head slightly. His eyes turned directly to me. This time it was not she who missed his glance.
"For two months," he said, his voice still in the same calmness, "I've been coming here every night."
If someone else had said this, you would have felt sadness on their face. Or there should have been some sign of emotion.
But it was Magnus. Not a single expression appeared on his face.
And at that moment...
My mind emptied for a moment.
Two months. Every night. Magnus came here every night. To this dilapidated place where we lived together in the past.
This information... wasn't something I expected. But at the same time... it found its place in a strange way.
"Every night?" I said, in a lower voice this time.
This was not just a replay. It was... a habit. It was a commitment. Or… something else.
For a moment, I felt like Magnus really cared about me and had come here perhaps just to meet me.
Or maybe I was just daydreaming.
Magnus's gaze remained unchanged.
"Yes," he said.
There was a brief pause. But this time, that pause... was part of an explanation.
"And today," he continued, "was the end."
This sentence...
It settled somewhere inside me.
But its meaning wasn't fully formed yet.
After Magnus' gaze remained fixed on me for a while, he tilted his head very slightly to the side, as if weighing the weight of what he had to say; his usual measured posture was still in place, but this time that balance was... difficult. His shoulders were slumped, and there was an undeniable but barely noticeable fatigue in his posture. His eyes briefly shifted to a spot in the middle of this destroyed area—as if he could still see a moment of the past there—then turned back to me. He took a breath before speaking; This was even an unusual detail, because Magnus usually didn't act like someone who had to breathe while speaking... as if the words were already ready for him. But now... those words didn't come easily.
"I knew the day of your return to Cistern was approaching, Aki," he finally said, his voice still low and controlled, but for the first time there was a clearly felt heaviness in it, which was like someone not only passing on information, but also accepting the consequences of that information. "That's why... I stopped coming here." He gave a short pause, his gaze scattered again for a moment, but this escape did not last long. "Because no matter how much I kept coming, at some point... I had to accept that I wouldn't find you here."The words came out slowly, but this slowness was not due to indecision, but to something suppressed rising to the surface. "And I had done something I was accustomed to again." Leaving someone behind means preparing for a future where someone I cared about and valued will never be by my side again.
He cared about me. There were other people he cared about too.
In this universe, there is no one who doesn't love anyone. But there is someone who is not loved by anyone.
Magnus, why...?
When Magnus's words hung in the air... the silence of that moment was unlike any other silence before. This was not emptiness... it was a filled silence. There were unspoken things, suppressed emotions, and belated acknowledgments within it. When Magnus finished speaking, his eyes were still on me, but that look... wasn't familiar. That cold, calculating, distant expression I had always seen on his face was still there, but beneath it... there was something cracking. And I... I was seeing this so clearly for the first time.
That's why I spoke without thinking. "So..." I said, my voice sounded calmer than I expected, but what was rising inside me was not calm, "you have to have something to tell me, right?"
This question… wasn't simple. It wasn't just an expectation; it was also a limit. Because if Magnus had reached this point... remaining silent would no longer be enough.
But he... didn't answer right away.
This time the silence lasted longer.
Magnus' gaze shifted away from me for the first time. He bowed his head slightly, as if trying to find the right way to say what he was about to say. His jaw tensed very slightly, and the usual sharpness in his eyes gave way to a more blurry, more somber expression. And at that moment… I realized.
This... wasn't hesitation.
This... was difficulty.
Watching him, something strange happened to me—it wasn't a feeling I was used to. Because Magnus... he's never looked like this. No matter what happened, no matter what he said, there was always a look of control on his face. But now… that control was missing.
And then...
Her eyes turned to me again.
But this time...
There was something inside.
Clearly.
Not hidden.
Not suppressed.
Sadness.
Magnus had that look in his eyes that I had never seen before.
At that moment… I really didn't know what to say.
Because this was the first time I had seen Magnus with something so close to the people.
I watched him. His stance. His calmness. It was as if everything that had happened during these two months... had already been resolved inside him.
"So, you're not going to come here anymore?"I asked.
He closed his eyes silently, waited for a while, and then spoke again.
ONE WEEK LATER
"Then he said the following—"
I was about to say, Master Shu, when he suddenly interrupted me.
"Aki, are you aware of what time it is? If we stay here any longer, you won't be able to stop by the team building and we'll have to go directly to the meeting."
Damn it, he was right. If I don't leave now, I won't have a chance to tell my teammates I'm coming back!
But still... I couldn't say the main thing I wanted to say. Perhaps I had told everything I had said so far just to say what Magnus had told me at that moment. I was forced to interrupt myself before I could say what I was about to say to Magnus to express the hatred and distrust I now harbor for him.
Not right now, I had to explain this part too.
"Master, there was also something else, but-"
He interrupted me again!!
"I get the main idea, Aki. Go for now. We'll have plenty of time to talk later."
I pursed my lips like a child. Because, as he said, I don't think we'll have time. Moreover, it was very difficult for me to bear the burden of such a thing alone, and I don't think there was anyone who would believe me other than my Master. I must say, not now, but soon.
"Since I became a general, I haven't had time to receive training from you or sit down and chat... I miss my academy days."I said that and again folded my arms like a child.
I stood there for a few seconds, glancing at my master out of the corner of my eye, and his eyes were closed. Amidst the wind blowing through his hair, he felt as if he were experiencing the beauty of the entire universe; he was happy.
He slowly opened his eyes, and then came my favorite part: talking to me...
"Don't see the past only as a closed chain of memories left behind, Aki, because what you call the past is not a cemetery frozen in time, but a living tissue that can be reshaped at any moment when the will touches it. People think that the past is over because when they look at it, they see only what is happening, whereas, as our ancestors taught, the real truth is not in the thing itself, but in the meaning that you attribute to it. You can't change your past, yes—but you can choose how you carry it today, which parts of it you keep alive and which you silence, which pain you drag on your back as a burden, and which you turn into a principle. This choice transforms the past from being merely a memory and places it within the present moment. Because everything that happened in the past continues to live in the present as long as you allow it; and again, if you want, those experiences can exist again in your future in another form, with another result. Wisdom teaches you this: Do not reject what you cannot control, but never give up the power to determine how you will face it. Your past is not your chain, it is your raw material; your sufferings are not the weights that pull you down, but the foundations that, when used correctly, make you unshakable. Therefore, do not run away, do not deny, do not suppress—look at them, accept them, and then subdue them to your own will. Because destiny gains meaning not from what it gives you, but from what you transform that given thing into. And remember, Aki... if you change the way you carry your past, you will quietly begin to rewrite not only the present, but also the future that has not yet happened."
I bowed my head slightly as Master Shu's words echoed inside me; the weight of what he was saying was too real for me to reject, but it wasn't so easy to accept either. I was used to carrying my past like a burden—to see it as a "raw material", to accept that I could shape it... this thought was breaking those rigid lines that I was used to. I exhaled slowly, closed my eyes for a brief moment, as if touching upon those scattered memories within me; the losses, the mistakes, the missed moments... they were all still there, but for the first time, I began to think of them not only as things that I had to endure, but as pieces that I could give direction to. "If what you say is true..." I finally said, my voice calm but still carrying resistance inside, "then it means that I'm not just carrying what happened... I'm also deciding what to turn them into.I opened my eyes again; my gaze was clearer, but there was still an unresolved hardness within me. "But this... is harder than you think, Master. Because accepting certain things feels heavier than changing them."
Also, I realized at that moment that my master's master and my master had very different ideas. Magnus was a person who mostly thought the opposite of these things. What they told me were always different words based on the same foundations.
Under the weight of these words, I felt as if whatever I said would fall flat. I stood up and was a little stunned when my master got up simultaneously with me.
"Master... I'm not too high right now, but..."
He placed his hand on my head again and stroked it.
"As usual, you don't understand the easy way." he said.
If this is the easy way, what's the hard way?!
"Go for now, Aki. You have no idea how much Aurelia has been nagging me while you were away." In the same way, the other team members who see me, and especially that big brother of yours. Go and spend time with them."
Among my master's words, I once again felt that there are people who care about me. After three years of this loneliness...
The joy of returning to Cistern was overwhelming.
I nodded in agreement. "Thank you, master. See you at the meeting.I said, and after she looked at me with a smile, I transformed my body into lightning and headed towards my team building.
The general of the second team is coming.
Akihiro Atlas.
END OF CHAPTER