"Am I being unfair to you?" I echoed Rinne's words from last night. "No, it is I who is being unfair…"
But there wasn't a chance in hell I'd tell her the truth behind her mother's untimely passing. I couldn't.
And I wouldn't.
I leaned back on a bench in the chapel courtyard, staring up at the false sky that gave us a sense of time. The shimmering lights were occasionally blocked by the pillars of pipes connecting to the Upper Layer. Next to those lights were large vents. Artificial wind would blow through, supplying us with breathable air. The chapel was lucky; few places in the Middle Core still had air vents that worked. However, nothing beats the genuine article.
When was the last time I visited the Upper Layer? Rinara went up there alone on a mission, seventeen years ago. Rinne was born just about when she returned. Maybe I should go there after this case is closed.
I'll give both the orphanage that took in Rinne and the man who was Rinne's father a lesson in butchery.
"Whoa, that's one hell of a scary face." A blue-haired priestess approached me with the grace she usually lacked. She leaned over the bench and looked straight down at me with a practiced smile.
The peace and quiet I was experiencing here, alone, was ruined by the chatter of children.
I looked down and saw a crowd of kids not far off, surrounding Sara. They bombarded her with questions about yesterday's attack and how she became Muller's apprentice despite only just becoming a part of the church.
She answered them the best she could, though timidly. But that timidity melted the moment the other kids foul-mouthed me. Sara gave them a nasty glare while speaking without any hint of her previous shyness. But because she was nearly the youngest in the group, the older kids would try to argue their case, and Lilas would glare at them until they shut up.
Lilas was only souring her image by doing something like that to a group of children doing no harm.
"You don't need to do that," I said. "Sara seems like she is holding her own."
"I can't let my adorable little sister get trashed for defending a man like you," Lilas said in a motherly voice, then winked and smiled, though with one eye, it looked like she'd closed it.
A man like me. It's not like I wasn't used to the harshness of the people around me, but hearing it said to my face by someone I knew kinda hurt.
I looked at her face. Despite the scar under her eye patch, she wasn't bad-looking; when she smiled, she was cute. This isn't the first time I've caught myself looking at her this way. Maybe it's a sign I'm moving on, or that I wish Lilas would take her blessed looks more seriously.
"Hey, how did you lose your eye?" I asked Lilas, who looked back down at me.
"One of the men from the orphanage took it when I fought back," she said without a shred of hesitation. It surprised me in a way, as I thought it would be more on the touchy side of her past.
"Really? I thought it was because of your reckless use of your artifact."
Lilas didn't seem too pleased by my comment, but she responded calmly, with a smile. "If the Goddess gave me a hand, who am I to deny her help?" The smile then faded as the look in her eye offered nothing but pity toward me. "How is your eye? After living years with only one, I would never wish this pain onto another soul, unless they are of the cult. Then I wish for them to become nothing more than a pile of mush."
"Scary. But Mother Kili said it should heal in a few weeks. It no longer hurts."
I pulled off the eye patch, pulling the adhesive a little too hard and making the surrounding area sting. Closing my good eye, I looked toward Lilas. She was nothing more than a blurry silhouette, even though she was this close to me.
"It seems to be healing fine." Lilas traced her finger over the burn marks. Her touch was gentle and warm. "Put your hand down for a moment." I did as she asked, lowered my hand, and opened both eyes. It was a bit disorienting, but since we were here in the chapel, it should be safe. "Not bad…" she muttered.
"What's not bad?" I asked.
"You know how when a hero gets unmasked, and he turns out to be good-looking? I'd say that's kinda like you. Though you don't even hold a candle to Father Muller, you're not bad-looking. The scar makes you badass!"
I wasn't sure how to take the fact that we were both looking at each other's appearance like this and how honest she was about it, but the thought alone was enough to make me laugh.
"Heheh…"
"Hey, what's so funny?"
"You. I told you to be yourself a few days ago, and you looked as if I had spoken blasphemy, and now here you are acting like a normal girl unburdened by her role."
Lilas looked away with a blush on her face. "I guess I did," she said in a low tone. "But after our little talk and watching you, I realize you and I are more alike than I thought. We both are lying to ourselves to convince the world that we are deserving of its kindness."
Lilas walked around the bench and sat next to me. Gloom sat on her face, but I didn't want to comment on it out here. It was my fault for bringing the mood down by asking about her eye and adding to it just now.
"Say, Golden," Lilas said, looking off at Sara. "You know the reason why Saint Edmond paired me with you, right?"
"Yeah, to watch over Sara's growth."
That was the lie I was instructed to tell Lilas if she were to ask. But given how perceptive she was, she must have already known that.
As we sat here speaking, I heard two sets of footsteps approaching from behind.
"You do know why I threw you without hesitation that day, right?" Lilas said in an emotionless tone, her gaze turning to me. Her blue eye glistened slightly beneath the single strip of white bangs covering it. "It's because I was mad that the Saint saw me as nothing but a loose cannon unable to live without Father Muller."
Lilas rubbed her wrists as she spoke. Sadness crossed her face.
The footsteps stopped short a few paces behind the bench where we sat. The faint rustle of fabric and the sound of breathing filled my ears.
"If that's what you think, then you must have given them a reason to think that way."
"Huh?"
"You put that thought in their head, though if I am being perfectly honest, I think that is only half of the truth, isn't that right, Sister Claire?"
"Busted, huh?" Claire walked around the bench with Rinne beside her. She scratched her cheek awkwardly while looking away.
Rinne and I met gazes for only a split second before she hid behind her long golden hair.
I felt Lilas's curious gaze on me, but she said nothing about it.
"But yes, Axien, you are correct in that being only half the truth." Claire continued. "Without Father Muller around, you do tend to act more…erratic, Mother Lilas. But really it was Father Muller who requested that you be paired with Axien. He never told me why, but he said that Axien was losing his mind or something. While he was gone, he thought he'd pair two of his favorite people together to help ease his worries."
"I'm one of his favorites!!!!" Lilas shot up, her face beaming. The nearby kids stopped to look at Lilas. She cleared her throat and sat back down, assuming a graceful posture.
"Yes…" Claire said awkwardly. "Why would you think otherwise?"
Lilas said nothing, swaying back and forth, seemingly high on the thought that Muller saw her as one of his favorites. She occasionally bumped into me while she did.
"You are too easy to please…" Claire sighed. She looked around, then lowered her voice. "That, and Saint Edmond foresees his passing soon. In its current state, he is unsure about the direction of the Church. Hence why Father Muller was suddenly dispatched to the Lower Layer."
She straightened herself back up and smiled wholeheartedly.
"At least that's all the rumors I've been hearing!"
I narrowed my gaze at Claire. She seemed unbothered, as if she expected me to see through her lie. She reached into her vestments and pulled out a small notebook she'd shown me once. It listed all the chapel's expenses, many of which were due to Lilas's recklessness.
Lilas hadn't seemed to notice, still humming happily to herself. Hell, I don't even think she heard a word Claire spoke after she said Muller considered her one of his favorites.
"Mother Lilas," Claire said.
"HmmHmmHmm!!!"
"MOTHER LILAS!"
"Y-yes M-ma'am!"
Lilas jolted straight up as she snapped out of her daydream. She placed her hands on her knees and looked right ahead. The color drained from her face the moment she saw the notebook Claire was deliberately waving around. Lilas scooted closer to me.
Rinne gave a sharp look, her scarlet eyes burning for just a brief moment before she averted her gaze the moment we locked eyes again.
"When did you two get so close?" Claire asked, "Not like there's anything wrong with it. I'm just surprised."
"…" Lilas said nothing, keeping her gaze fixed on the notebook.
Sister Claire must have lectured her a lot if the mere look of that notebook was enough to force Lilas into submission.
"Anyway." Claire cleared her throat and began speaking. "Three days ago, Mother Lilas, you used your blade to cleave a bridge in two. The two halves fell into the steam pits, destroying some of the still-operational piping that led to the Middle Layer. Was there a reason that you decided to destroy the bridge?"
"Because it felt cool…" she muttered.
"Sorry, what was that?"
"It was necessary!" Lilas shouted.
Claire turned to me, asking for confirmation.
"She saved not only my life, but the lives of the two women in the medical room right now."
Claire did not seem to be pleased about me taking Lilas's side in such a serious manner like this. But she continued nonetheless.
"Yesterday, during your fight against the man called Ciel, you ripped a part of the floor, causing damage to the surrounding area, including some critical piping that supplied resources to the Outer Ring."
"T-that was a-also necessary…" Lilas stuttered.
"Also yesterday, I received a rather…massive bill from a restaurant. On that bill, several items were listed…all of which were from the dessert menu. Tell me, Mother Lilas. Was that also necessary?"
"…" Lilas grew as stiff as a rock as the last of the color drained from her face. She then stood up, grabbing me by my hand. Lilas looked at me pleadingly before turning back to Claire. "Sorry, Sister Claire, but we still have work to do. The deadline before the full moon is approaching fast."
"Now you are hiding behind that excuse?" Claire rubbed her temples. "But you are right; you should focus on that for now. Then once you get back, I'll have a completely compiled list of work you'll perform to pay off your damages."
"URK!"
"Oh, and Axien." Claire looked at me while gently nudging Rinne forward. "Pay more attention to your daughter. Girls require more attention than you think."
"H-hey, it's not like that!" Rinne complained. But Claire only smiled and giggled in response.
Claire gave a slight bow as she walked toward Sara. Rinne walked beside Lilas, using her as a means to block me from her sight. Lilas looked down at her and sighed a little.
"You two aren't very honest people, are you?" Lilas said while smiling just a little. "At least it's better than two days ago," she said faintly.