A golden platform materialized beneath my feet without warning.
One second I was standing on smooth marble; the next, a wide, floating disk of liquid sunlight rose silently into the air, carrying me, Asherah, and the ever-stoic Eirene upward until we hovered level with the tops of the tallest pillars.
The edges of the platform shimmered like molten gold poured into water. Tiny runes drifted across its surface in lazy spirals.
Asherah clapped her hands once, delighted.
"Time for the main event, Yan-Yan! Your official blessing ceremony!"
She snapped her fingers.
A massive golden screen unfurled in the air in front of us like an unfurling scroll made of pure light.
Words began to appear one line at a time, each one burning into existence with dramatic flares.
I squinted.
[Personal Blessings – Shirogane Yanen]
Asherah pointed at the first entry like a game-show host revealing the grand prize.
"First up—Peeper!"
The text enlarged.
[Peeper]
[Nothing is obscured from your sight anymore. Distance, walls, clothing—none of it matters. You can spy on any woman bathing within a mile radius. Zoom, slow-motion, night vision, thermal—whatever your filthy little heart desires.]
I stared at the description.
"I didn't know my mission was to get arrested for sexual harassment."
Asherah laughed so hard she had to hold her stomach, the she abruptly stopped again.
"Next! Super Stamina!"
[Super Stamina]
[You can sleep with an entire village's worth of women back-to-back and only lose a single drop of sweat. No refractory period. No exhaustion. Unlimited rounds until your heart stops beating.]
"So until I die?"
Asherah waggled her eyebrows at me. "Handy, right?"
I didn't dignify that with a response.
She moved on without missing a beat.
"Magical Resistance. I personally think this one is boring."
[Magical Resistance]
[Magic past the degree that would normally harm mortals becomes ineffective or greatly weakened against you. Most offensive spells will fizzle, reflect, or simply feel like a warm breeze. Also allows safe usage of high-tier magic that would normally incinerate a human body.]
"See? So useless, right?" she said, waving her hand dismissively.
"Sorry," I deadpanned, "I don't understand the language you're speaking. I only see use here."
Asherah pouted. "Fine, fine. Super Regeneration!"
[Super Regeneration]
[Complete bodily reconstruction from nearly any injury. Even if "killed" physically, as long as even a scrap of you remains, you will heal. Limbs, organs, brain matter—doesn't matter. Physical death is merely an inconvenience.]
She actually put her hands together in mock prayer.
"You see, I will dislike it if you perished so easily. So I'm so sorry for giving you such a horrible ability. I know it completely usurps the joy and thrill of death from poor fragile mortals."
"Please don't apologize for the most useful ability yet!" I whined, louder than I intended.
She ignored me and bounced on her toes.
"Now this one—Prince Charming!"
[Prince Charming]
[Grants the power to charm living beings and bend them to your will. It's effectiveness scales with the amount of charm power focused on a single target. Charm five people at once and the effect spreads equally—less potent per person. Charm one person with full power? They'll do almost anything you ask. Works best on those already attracted or vulnerable.]
I crossed my arms. "Don't need it."
"Too bad," she sang, "because I do."
She twirled once, dress flaring dramatically.
"There are plenty more abilities at the bottom of the toolkit—mostly just useless little trinkets—but this last one? This one I approve of."
She pointed at the final entry with both hands like she was unveiling a trophy.
[Polymath]
[Automatic comprehension of every language that exists or has ever existed in Euphoria. Push deeper and hidden truths, forbidden knowledge, ancient secrets can be understood.]
"Ah, one small, tiny note," Asherah raised a hand, "overusing it on extremely dangerous or sealed knowledge may fry your brain. Super Regeneration will keep you alive, but amnesia, personality collapse, or permanent mental degradation are possible side effects.
"Minor setback, really. Just use it to pick up women of every culture and tribe and have fun! Isn't that an excellent gift?"
My jaw dropped.
"No! That sounds like the most dangerous ability yet! So knowledge comes at such a cost?!"
Asherah was practically vibrating with happiness.
Eirene, who had been standing silently beside us the entire time, finally spoke.
"You are being far happier than the recipient, my goddess."
"What? But I'll get to watch reality porn—Ah, I mean!" Asherah caught herself, eyes darting everywhere but at me. "I mean, I need that Demon Lord defeated as soon as possible. So of course I'm excited!"
I gave her a long, calm look.
Then I turned to Eirene.
"Is there even a Demon Lord in this world?"
"Unfortunately, yes," Eirene answered without hesitation. "And she's very nasty too."
"She?"
Asherah immediately shoved herself between us.
"Okay, enough gossip!" she cried. "Yan-Yan, you better give me one hell of a show. I'm starting to suspect you're not actually a horny scumbag who would attack beautiful goddesses in alleys."
I bristled. "I'm not a molester! I only did that because of my brother! I was trying to save him!"
She tilted her head, golden eyes narrowing disappointely.
"Tsk. And you were so good with your fingers…"
Then Asherah bit one of her golden nails, eyes half-lidded as she stared at me like I was a particularly interesting dessert she wasn't allowed to eat yet.
But her expression shifted—sudden, decisive.
"Eirene," she said sharply, "add to the system."
Eirene didn't even blink.
Her silver fingers were already moving through the air, tracing invisible glyphs that glowed faintly as the system interface materialized between them.
"Continue," she said, voice flat.
Asherah leaned forward, lips curling.