***
"I'm such a coward..."
Haider uttered between his teeth.
He rested back, the endless trail of thoughts sweeping through his mind. He remained in a daze, feeling the heavy load of shame and liability.
He wondered why he acted so cowardly, making her feel awkward and anxious.
His brows came together in a frown, his face woven with sadness.
He was fretful and began tapping his fingers on the desk. These days, there was no work being done.
How could he work? When she was the only person on his mind 24/7. The clock ticked, filling the silent room with just his heartbeat and the ticking noise.
When a man is left in quiet wilderness, they tend to fantasise and try to relive those moments he held dear.
Such, the brushing past of their fingertips. Her cold hands that he tried his best to warm up and the walk that felt too short.
He thought he had already learned to love but that wasn't the case. Who knew love could still outgrow the space it was given to.
The tender sensation filling the corners of his soul, elevating him to another dimension.
He prayed last night that he would get more chances to speak with her. However, it became clear as day that he must initiate and yearn more for her affection.
The price wouldn't come so easily, he had to put in the hard work. He lacked such delicacies. Till now, he could only leave fleeting traces of himself in her world.
When Ariya imagined Haider as a boundless ocean.
To him, Ariya was a field of sunflowers, blooming in the sunset's glow. The golden hour was her light and her resplendence.
The sublime and exquisite muse of his, he had become a writer munificent of his knowing.
At a point in life, it grew difficult to hold such emotions and greed within. So he began to write and that paid him much relief later on.
He called it Nur Hayaati.
The light of my life.
That's what she was to him.
No deceit or deception behind those words.
What he felt was genuine, if this wasn't called love then this world may never know what it is. Some fear it, some hold it dear but to those who crave it...
They were called seekers.
Haider took part in such a group, no shame in that. After all, restraint was more beautiful than compared to impulsive outbursts.
Rather than physical closeness, the track of soothing emotions and the safe abundance one could offer appeared more splendid. One could only wish for a love like this.
A kind of love, even without words or even worlds apart. You were assured and no doubt would spark in you. Peace itself was the biggest plethora of love.
Haider exited the office, his head heavy with the burden he carried. His hands were clasped in a fist and he wore a sheepish frown on his face.
His lips thinned and he let out a weary sigh every now and then.
Progressively, his steps came to an end. The large building he saw this morning was right in front of him once more. He steadily moved away to the side, resting his back against the brick fence running across the whole provision.
The sun was setting, yet she hadn't come out of those gates.
Bit by bit, students were leaving the vicinity. Some recognised him and others didn't. He waited patiently by the gates, the coat over his shoulders being ruffled by the evening breeze.
"Are you waiting for someone?"
Out of the very blue, an older man's voice came.
Haider slowly opened his eyes and saw a man wearing a security guard's uniform.
"Assalamualaikum," Haider greeted first. "Yes, I'm waiting for someone."
"Wailaikumsalam."
The man answered while tipping the hat over his head.
"You have been standing here for a while, young man. If you want, you can help yourself inside."
Haider's eyes lit up, almost momentarily mimicking a startled kitty.
"Would that be alright?"
The older man chuckled and nodded his head.
Haider took his chance and jogged away beyond the gates.
His hurry was unnecessary, but it was also desperate. He wanted to see her.
...
Ariya packed the last textbook from her desk and let out a tired breath. It was a long day. Her class ran longer than she hoped, and her friends had already left.
She trudged across the hallway, her footsteps echoing back to her.
"Ariya!"
Suddenly-
Someone called out.
She turned her head and instantly was surprised by the sight before her.
There was a panting man struggling to catch his breath, his face red with the heat and his gaze locked with hers.
"Haider?"
Ariya came closer, her face painted with worry.
"What are you doing here?"
She muttered, her eyes still widened.
Haider's eyes grew droopy and he came closer to her face. The gap between them decreased each second, and before their lips could meet-
He halted... and uttered in that place.
"I came to fetch you..."