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Chapter 32 - ♡⑅*˖•. I Chose Him. .•˖*⑅♡

Jay Jay POV ✪✪✪

I didn't expect myself to say yes.

Not to him.

Not after everything I knew. Not after everything I suspected. But the word still came out.

"Fine. You can stay."

And the moment I said it—

I regretted it, just a little bit— okay.

Maybe more than a little.

Because the way his face changed—

That small smile..

Stupid.

Annoying.

unfairly attractive.

What?

No!

Absolutely not!

I forced myself to look away, shaking the thought off almost immediately.

He wasn't cute.

He wasn't handsome.

He was—

Dangerous.

That's what he was.

And I needed to remember that.

But remembering got harder the closer he stepped.

The space between us disappeared too quickly, like neither of us even tried to keep it there.

And then—

He kissed me.

This time it wasn't soft.

Not hesitant.

It was deeper.

Warmer.

Something I didn't stop.

Something I didn't want to stop.

My breath caught somewhere in the middle of it, my hands instinctively gripping onto him just to steady myself, like I needed something to hold onto or I'd fall apart completely.

When we pulled away, I was already breathing harder than I should've been.

My heart wouldn't slow down.

And I hated that.

"Keifer—" I started, my voice barely steady.

"Yes?" he answered, his voice dropping lower, softer—like he knew exactly what that tone did to me.

And he probably did.

He always did.

I swallowed, my thoughts scrambling, trying to find something rational to say—

But nothing came.

Nothing except the truth.

The worst possible thing I could've said.

"Please stay with me I love you."

The moment the words left my mouth—

I froze.

What did I just say?

I didn't plan that.

I didn't think that through.

I didn't even mean to—

But it was already out there.

Too late to take back.

Too real to ignore.

For a second, he didn't respond.

And that second felt longer than it should've.

Like I had just handed him something he wasn't supposed to have.

Something I wasn't supposed to give.

"I love you too."

My chest tightened instantly.

Because he didn't hesitate when he said it.

He didn't question it.

He didn't doubt it.

And somehow that made it worse.

Or better.

I didn't even know anymore.

Before I could process anything else, he moved.

One second I was standing—

The next—

I wasn't.

A small gasp left me as he lifted me up like I weighed nothing, my body shifting against his shoulder as he carried me like it was the most normal thing in the world.

"Keifer— what are you—"

I didn't even finish.

Because he didn't stop.

He just walked straight into my room.

Of course it was clean.

Of course he cleaned it.

I shouldn't have been surprised.

But I still was.

A little.

He set me down gently, pulling the covers back before guiding both of us into bed like he had already decided this was how the night was going to go.

Like I didn't have a choice.

And maybe—

I didn't.

Because I didn't stop him.

I didn't push him away.

I just let it happen.

He pulled me closer, his arm wrapping around me as he settled behind me, holding me like I belonged there.

Like I was supposed to fit there.

And the worst part?

I did.

It felt—

Right.

Wrong.

Comforting.

Dangerous.

All at the same time.

"Goodnight my wife."

My breath hitched slightly at the words, but I didn't say anything.

I just hummed softly, turning in his arms until I was facing him instead, close enough to feel his warmth, to hear the steady rhythm of his breathing.

"K-Keifer…"

"Yes, wifey?"

I hesitated.

Just for a second.

Because I already knew the answer I was going to get.

I just needed to hear it.

"Yuri… is it true… he committed suicide?"

Silence.

Immediate.

Heavy.

He didn't answer right away.

Didn't look away either.

And that alone told me everything I needed to know.

My chest tightened.

"Or… was he another one that you—"

"Yes—"

The word cut through me before I could finish.

I went still.

"…Yes what?"

"I killed him."

My heart dropped.

Not fast.

Not sudden.

Just—

Heavy.

Like it already knew.

Like it had been expecting it.

"Oh."

That was all I could say.

Just that.

Because anything more—

Would've made it real in a way I wasn't ready for.

"I had to," he said quietly. "To protect you."

My breath caught.

"To protect me?"

The words felt strange coming out of my mouth.

Unfamiliar.

Wrong.

"Y-you killed him for me?!"

My voice shook slightly.

I couldn't help it.

I didn't even try to.

"Shhh."

His thumb brushed against my lips, silencing me gently, like he didn't want me to say anything else.

Like he didn't want me to think about it too much.

"Do you feel comfortable with me?"

The question hit differently.

Not like everything else he had said.

Not like a threat.

Not like control.

Just—

A question.

And somehow—

That made it harder.

Because I should've said no.

I should've pulled away.

I should've gotten up, walked out, called someone, done something.

Anything.

But instead—

"Yes."

The word came out before I could stop it.

Before I could change my mind.

Before I could think.

And the moment I said it—

I knew I meant it.

At least…

Part of me did.

I moved closer without thinking, pressing into him, my head resting against his chest as his arms wrapped around me again.

Holding me.

Keeping me there.

And I let him.

I let myself stay.

Even knowing everything.

Even knowing what he was capable of.

Even knowing what he had done.

Because somehow—

That didn't make me feel safer away from him.

It made me feel safer here.

With him.

And that—

That scared me more than anything else.

Because if this was what I was choosing—

Then there was no going back.

Not anymore.

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