For an unauthorized person to intrude upon one's domain is an act more unpleasant than one might imagine. For pirates, who have sold off every scrap of commercial ethics to live solely on malice and grit, that disposition was even stronger.
The remnants of the Argonauts, Francis Drake, Altera, and I managed to board the Queen Anne's Revenge safely—if somewhat forcibly. We lined up everyone on the ship, tied them up securely, and stood them in a row on the deck.
"Kuh, to put me in a situation that looks like something out of an eroge doujinshi… in a moment like this, kuh, I suppose I should shout 'Kill me!' and then—"
"If you do, I might actually turn you into a woman, so shut it."
"…? Unless it's the Holy Grail, it should be impossible to flip the gender portion of a Saint Graph? It would be best to look for that kind of 'Tag-Female:Gender_Change' preference on Hitomi, dyuhuhu…"
"Hmph, you're right about that. However, we have a very friendly method called 'physics,' don't we?"
As I let out a sinister laugh, slightly shifting my finger into a surgical blade and pointing it toward his crotch, Edward Teach's expression froze solid.
Blackbeard, whose mental state had been shattered by the successive verbal abuse from Shiki, Shirou, and Manaka, had regained his vigor the moment Altera touched him to bind his hands. Naturally, he was now receiving glares of pure loathing from every female Servant present.
"…Filthy, disgusting, just die already, you piece of trash!"
"Guh-heck! Miss Mary, to receive such grateful… no, I mean, such horrible abuse!"
"Hey, Master of Chaldea? Can't we just kill this guy?"
"Miss Anne, Miss Mary! I am the captain, for goodness' sake!"
"I'm sorry, but that's difficult. For now, we're in a position where we need this guy's Noble Phantasm."
"Tch…"
Just then, Teach, who until a moment ago had been fully indulging his desires with Hitomi references, wiped away his jovial smile. He looked at me with the face of the cold-blooded Devil of the Caribbean.
"…I see, so it seems you need this body's Noble Phantasm?"
"You catch on quick. You're going to have to assist us."
"Dyuhuhu…"
"Hm?"
"Puh, huhuhuhu… Uhuhu, hehehehehehehehehe… Hahahahahehihehehehehehahahahahaha!!!!"
"…Is something funny?"
The moment he burst into laughter like someone who had lost their sanity, I leaned in to look at his face. At that instant, his massive maw lunged toward me, attempting to bite into my eyes.
"How naive. There's no way you wouldn't have basic defenses up when dealing with the 'Devil of the Caribbean,' right?"
"You're the one who's naive. For someone with the grand title of Master of Chaldea, you're a bit dim. If you openly say you need my Noble Phantasm, there's no way I'd cooperate, right?"
Having switched his otaku-esque tone for one carrying an underlying sinister chill, he began to flap his gums, smiling like a child anticipating a delightful banquet.
"Hey, this is the Queen Anne's Revenge. Greek heroes? England's greatest privateer? Puh-hehehe!!! This is a floating Purgatory, a ship of seafaring villains that even the cursed sea devil Davy Jones gave up on taking into his locker! Rather than handing the ship over to you lot… I can de-summon this Noble Phantasm whenever I want, you know?"
"If you do that, you'll die too, won't you?"
"Hey, hey, hey hey hey! A pirate shouldn't be afraid of dying!"
"True enough. But I'm the Master of Chaldea, and from the perspective of someone burdened with the future of humanity, I have to be afraid of dying."
Giving Altera a slight nod, I watched as she slowly walked toward the railing at the edge of the deck.
"Hey, Edward Teach. You're a pirate captain, but you're not an uneducated fool."
"What are you trying to say?"
"Pirates generally have a strong image of being ignorant, foolish, and idiotic, but in reality, there were many cases where people with decent scholarship participated. Even Drake here rose to the rank of Vice Admiral through piracy… It's a complex matter in many ways. Distributing plundered treasures, suppressing crew mutinies, avoiding navies, predicting weather… Aren't you the same? That giggling laughter of yours is nothing more than a camouflage; in truth, you are the cold-blooded Devil of the Caribbean."
"Dyuhuhu, my, my, sounds like you're trying to flatter me… but I have no intention of stopping because of that."
"Who said anything about stopping? At any rate, I figured an intelligent man like you would understand. What do you think human civilization is?"
Teach blanked out for a moment at the completely unexpected question, and I quickly continued.
"There are various theories, but ultimately, I believe the start of human civilization was the wheel. Through the wheel, difficult transport gradually became simpler, and the development of various means of transportation began. Starting from simple supports, to wheels, rickshaws, carriages… eventually leading to the appearance of automobiles."
"…So, what's the point of this story?"
"However, the people traveling the land eventually discovered the vast ocean… So, what did the curious people who gazed upon that sea do? Naturally…"
"They crossed it!"
"Exactly right. Intelligent as expected… Just as you said, a ship is a symbol of civilization. It's a symbol of that civilization, representing the fact that humanity has grown one step further."
At that moment, Altera gripped the deck railing and slowly began to apply pressure.
"Now then, here's a quiz! What is the specialty of that very pretty, charming… and once-leveled-all-of-Europe young lady over there, hm?"
"…I can't withdraw the Noble Phantasm."
"Do you think that's all? Altera!"
Suddenly, centered around her hand, a noise like twisting wooden railings began to echo. It wasn't the sound of simple physical crushing via grip strength; it was the sound of the very 'origin' of the Noble Phantasm being distorted. The ghostly pirates bound alongside Teach began to tremble with anxiety at the sound.
"This ship is your Noble Phantasm. Did you know? If a Noble Phantasm undergoes transfer or destruction at the level of the 'soul,' it can be completely obliterated… That's why I still possess the spear of a Servant I met in a past Holy Grail War. Choose. Will you have your Noble Phantasm deleted down to your soul, or will you cooperate with us?"
"…Is it alright to threaten me like that? Setting aside killing me and destroying this ship, you'll also fall into this wide-open sea and become a meal for those frogs, or die caught in the curse, wouldn't you?"
"What does it matter? We have Captain Greece with us. Don't underestimate the expedition of the Argo."
Three-colored light began to swirl in Altera's hand, and at that moment, Edward Teach slowly raised both hands and—
"Kuhahaha!!!"
He began to laugh like a madman.
"Fine, as the Captain of the Queen Anne's Revenge, I shall permit your boarding. But keep in mind that I could kill you all at any time."
"Mutual feeling… Oh, and additionally, Altera and I don't really care, but it would be best if you don't treat the other Servants over there recklessly."
"Hm? Usually, isn't it the other way around?"
"I can endure it, but they won't… Shall I give you an example? That beautiful young lady over there in the hood has a hobby of turning people she takes a liking to into dolls. She's the type whose hobby is changing all their shells (clothes) and painting (makeup) them to her liking."
As Teach's complexion turned pale, I followed up by pointing at Hector, who was smiling awkwardly while holding his spear.
"This person is a famous Lancer, a great man who carried a national-scale group project with three trolls for over ten years. And Captain Greece over there might not look like much, but in terms of navigation, he's likely your superior. And that Lancer girl over there is a specialist in the gender-reassignment surgery I couldn't provide for you earlier."
"…"
"Ah, of course, if you're a masochist who enjoys being beaten because you've earned the resentment of others, I won't particularly care. But it's better to avoid unnecessary friction, isn't it? If you just refrain from causing trouble, I'll make sure the price for boarding this ship is paid in full."
"Spit it out."
Forming a hand seal with both hands, I carefully pulled out one Asura Path puppet.
The puppet, which fundamentally resembled me but had red hair and the Rinnegan… was a 'beautiful girl' with a pretty face and a glamorous body line, exactly to Touko Aozaki's taste.
"T-This is…!"
"This is a doll hand-crafted by a puppetmaster evaluated to have reached the Root…"
Slightly leaning toward his ear, I whispered quietly.
"A limited edition Dakimakura… you want it, don't you?"
"Let me lick your feet!!!"
Leaving that version of Teach behind, I gave a thumbs up toward the Chaldea communication link.
"How was it? My negotiation."
[…Is that a negotiation? That's bribery.]
"A negotiation is a negotiation. That puppet cost over a billion."
At any rate, for these reasons, we were able to board the Queen Anne's Revenge without further trouble.