It was a singular movement.
As if coalesced into a single mass and a massive subject, it began to writhe violently in response to my words.
[You, you arrogant...!]
"Oh, please understand why I can't call you by your name. But what can I do? It's common knowledge that the 'One Who Must Not Be Named' in Harry Potter is called Voldemort, but you know there's also the 'One Whose Name Must Not Even Be Left Behind,' right? I really don't want to record the name of a fellow with the filthy and disgusting hobby of collecting 72 identical dildos... Hm, was that a bit racist? Still, try to understand. Your King isn't someone with a wholesome taste who met a partner; he's someone who goes around poking other people's back ends. Physically, he's just too much for me. ^^__^^"
[You monkey who deserves to be torn apart!!! I will rip your limbs off and scatter them across the entire universe and galaxy!!!!]
But contrary to that violent reaction, Souren Araya and Goetia showed no actual response.
On the contrary, the tentacles inside the mansion that had been writhing violently subsided quietly as if forcibly suppressing their anger, and Souren Araya retreated into the mansion while deploying an concealment Bounded Field.
"...It's troublesome when provocation doesn't work like this."
The form of the Singularity was excessively desolate.
It wasn't a burning city like Fuyuki, nor was it a sprawling highland like France or a vast plain like Rome.
The scenery of the Singularity was just a single mansion sitting alone on barren asphalt with nothing else around.
[...There are no other buildings caught in the Chaldea scan. I can sense the reaction of Demon God Pillars... but the mansion in front of you is the only structure.]
"Which means there's no choice but to check it directly.... By the way, how are the other Singularities doing?"
[The France side is being resolved with Kirschtaria as the leader. As you predicted, it was the Incident in France; Vlov Arkhangel has already been repelled, and they plan to enter negotiations with Rita Rozay-en under Arcueid's lead.]
"And Ritsuka's side... is it the 4th Holy Grail War?"
[It's just begun, but instead of Kiritsugu Emiya, the Einzbern homunculus 'Irisviel von Einzbern' has participated alone.]
'Is it Accel Zero Order... if so, there's a high possibility that the 4th Saber isn't the Lion King I know, but just a regular Saber-bab.'
[For now, the Waver of this timeline convinced Iskandar and his other self to stand on our side, and Professor Kayneth was persuaded by himself to join as an ally.]
"...Come again?"
[The assistance of the 3rd and 5th Magic users, and a love letter to change Sola-Ui's mind were set as conditions, and he was absolutely delighted by it.]
It's a bit late to say this, but I think I'm starting to get a sense of just how much informational advantage I had regarding the 4th Holy Grail War and The Garden of Sinners.
[Anyway, do you have any information on your side?]
"There will probably be an unidentified Assassin wandering around that Singularity. It's a case where a certain assassin in this Chaldea has been turned into a Servant; he uses Origin Bullets like knives, so tell Ophelia to be especially careful."
At that moment, the sound of a clatter came from somewhere followed by a coughing sound over the transmission. It was probably Kiritsugu Emiya.
"Ask that person directly for countermeasures against Origin Bullets. Since he's a Servant who was active as an assassin in the modern era, be especially wary of attacks in the style of modern warfare."
After finishing my piece, I loosened my hands and prepared to enter the mansion. Roman cried out in a panic.
[W-Wait a minute. You're just planning to go in?! At the very least, you should release Flat Snark before entering!]
"The entire mansion is essentially the inside of Goetia's intestines, what are you talking about..."
[At least you should take all the measures you can from the outside!]
"With the regenerative ability of a Demon God Pillar, even Heavenly Obstruction: Shattering Star won't work. It's impossible to bind a mansion-sized object with Chibaku Tensei either... and burning a Demon God Pillar with the firepower of the Asura Path is too much of a gamble."
[You going in there is a gamble in itself!]
Roman is right.
But what can we do?
We've always been gambling.
Brushing off Romani's dissuasion, I stepped inside the mansion and muttered that specific line in a low voice.
"The inside is... cleaner than I thought?"
[That's a death flag!]
"There's a rule that gag characters survive even after speaking a death flag, so it'll be fine, Roman."
[Wait, you were a gag character?]
"...Was I not?"
I pride myself on having a fairly witty personality.
Ignoring Roman's nagging, which was half-ignoring my short monologue, I activated my Rinnegan and began to slowly examine the surroundings.
The walls, pillars, and ceilings inside the building were being encroached upon by Demon God Pillars, but they didn't seem interested in attacking me immediately.
[Internal scanning isn't working... Even if there are Servants inside, they're being covered by the magical energy of the Demon God Pillars, so they're essentially receiving the benefit of concealment.]
"I can cover that much. Unless it's an ability like Zabaniya: Delusional Heartbeat... I can block most attacks with Shinra Tensei."
Just then, the clacking sound of metal grinding against metal began to drift toward me.
The sound of heels clicking on the floor and the friction of metal composed a rhythm as it gradually approached. Finally, a single shadow revealed itself at the staircase located at the far end of the mansion.
A pair of giant scissors in both hands, high-quality shoes on his feet, but the suit was a typical party clown's outfit mixed with red and green... and on his face, a clown makeup that could be said to be very familiar.
[Haaaaaa...]
Likely one of the most prominent lunatics in the FATE universe, a psychotic demon displaying the pure essence of 'Madness.'
"Aaaaaah!!! The devil has come! The devil is here!!!"
"...That's definitely the devil that should be in the 4th Singularity. Did they just Control C-V him?"
"Hyah~ Hee~ Hey~ Whoo~ Heah~ Yeah~ Iyah~ Heyah~~~ I don't know the rest! Anyway, have you really come here? Have you come to this Singularity where the devil resides, Masteeeeeeers of Chaaaaaldea?~ Oh, not 's'? This rookie devil Mephistopheles's graaaaaand mistake! What I must do here is the ultimate method of apology fitting for the Land of Courteous People of the East—the Graaaaand~~~ Bow!!! After all, my role is that of a stupid clown who apologizes immediately after a messy mistake!!!!"
A grandiloquent speech from a literally 'insane guy' that felt like it would rot the listener's brain.
Watching the guy who was crossing his scissors to make an irritating noise and dancing like a madman down the stairs, I gave him a short answer.
"Too long. Three-line summary."
"You got me~! This, this Master was unexpectedly great! Hikikikikyakyakyakakakaka!!! Ah, failure, failure, a total failure for this Mephistopheles's heartfelt joke!!! So, are you really not interested?! The devices placed in this Singularity by your 'arch-nemesis' whom you hate so much, information about the future! Truths that would likely be in the 4th Singularity!!! If you succeed in capturing this Mephistopheles, you could make me confess everything through Climax-Corruption-Defilement triple combos using interrogation techniques that look like they'd come out of an erotica-doujinshi~~~ though!!!"
"Cut the bullshit."
At that moment, something flew toward the back of my neck and was deflected at an angle by Shinra Tensei.
Turning my head slightly to look, I saw a makeshift crossbow-like device installed behind me and large scissors that had fallen to the floor.
"...Is it a trap after all?"
"Aha? As expected, you noticed! This is Mephistopheles's graaaaand~~~ failure! Therefore, to make up for this failure, I shall aim precisely at Master's neck to strike it cleanly, refreshingly, and cheerfully! I'll cut it into a kawaiii star shape!"
Stepping with his bizarrely shaped shoes, Mephistopheles instantly moved in front of me, flailing his large scissors in an attempt to cut my throat.
Twisting my body slightly to kick his torso, he blocked it with the scissor handles and then lunged the blades toward my groin.
"You crazy bastard! You trying to turn me into an eunuch?!"
"I shall turn you into Sima Qian, the greatest among eunuchs! Please sit still and request to participate in Dr. Mephisto's surgical operation show!"
Hakyakyakyakakaka!!! Bursting into a mad laugh, he began to swing his scissors wildly at me. Ducking down and taking the scissors directly with Shinra Tensei, I quickly closed the distance and used my body enveloped in Shinra Tensei to headbutt his jaw upward.
If it were an ordinary Heroic Spirit, they wouldn't have taken much damage and would have instead recovered to aim for a counterattack. However, Mephistopheles, far from countering, staggered like a drunkard before collapsing with a thud.
And as if fog were flowing, he caused his entire head area to become blurred, eventually transforming into something resembling a large ball-jointed doll.
"...What is this?"
[It seems to be a type of puppetry. It feels like a degraded version of the dolls I sent when I fought against the Kuonji Mansion... Plus, it must be a type of Doppelganger-Doll Curse with a Servant's body layered over it. The reason it returned to a ball-jointed doll... is probably because it couldn't withstand the damage from the headbutt you dealt it.]
Touko explained.
"It's one of the things I truly don't understand. Why is that Servant a Caster..."
[A Caster?! You're saying that crazy clown is a Caster?]
After completing a rough inspection just in case and activating my magecraft, I recited the general specs to Romani and began to slowly explore each room of the mansion.
"Yeah, he's a Caster. No matter how you look at him, he's a Berserker or Assassin class, but he's still a Caster."
[In that case, we should be careful of long-range curses too... Though they won't work well on you, Casters are the class with the most variables among all classes.]
Just as he said, although Mephistopheles's primary armament is scissors, his Noble Phantasm is bombs, and he's a type of Trickster Servant armed with various troublesome skills. In the game, it might have been just bizarre and mediocre abilities, but in reality, he could be called an utterly grotesque and unpredictable Servant.
"I know, so I have to be careful. I'll look into the other rooms first."
[...There's nothing inside. For now, anyway.]
Just as I was about to open the door after hearing Romani's briefing, I felt something wriggling under my feet...
Boom!!!
An explosion occurred—small, but powerful enough to easily blow off an ankle.
"Ugh..."
[Karma! Karma... for heaven's sake, are you okay?!]
"...More or less. But that looks like a Noble Phantasm too..."
While I was touching my half-blown ankle where the bone was exposed, the sound of scissors clacking and a demon's laughter began to be heard from afar.
[...Oh, no.]
"..."
"Ara? Ararararara?! Did you seriously fall for it?! A trap (LOL) that even a child wouldn't fall for!!! To commit such a discourtesy! For the Master of Chaldea to dare make the mistake of letting his guard down grandiosely against an enemy!!!!"
The grotesque clown, letting out a mad laugh, began to approach.
The demon, who had completely discarded his suit from earlier and came back with red tattoos like tear tracks and long horns reminiscent of longhorn beetle horns, soon came closer, fluttering his woolly cloak and flicking his tail like a whip, then...
[...Eh?]
He suddenly stopped.
The mad laughter vanished, and his expression, which had been laughing hysterically, hardened... He then spoke in a quiet, cool, dry voice that felt like dripping ice.
"...You don't have one? Why were you hit? For a Master of Chaldea, who should know that I am Mephistopheles and know all about my Noble Phantasms, to fall for such a simple trap? Oh, I find this hard to believe. Because I am a clown, a clown who understands his audience."
Then, he spoke with a grotesque and truly demonic smile.
"You're a fake, aren't you? Just like during the time with Vlad III."