As I lay in the pile of rubble looking up to the one I hate most, the one I sought to kill, I questioned if all I did was truly worth it, what if I never killed those people who I loved and who loved me, what if I never killed her?
In the past I've always thought I was loved and always would be loved, it's quite sad how delusional I was, in truth I was nothing more than what I despise most
The place which I called home for a time was the Verdell church, the reason for this is that, according to the father I was found in the woods, he said it must have been God's decision for him to find me yet that was just a false twist of wording he would use
I hated that place, there wasn't much I cared for inside that church. The only thing that the church gave me was my family name, Verdell
In the entirety of the church id say there were only 2 which I liked, Lilith, whom I'd call my sister, and Casey, whom both Lilith and I saw as our mother figure her at the time she was just a sister at the church
It wasn't the father that named my rather Casey, she gave me the name Rin not because she liked the name in particular but rather she wanted a asexual name for me because she said even tho I was male I looked quite feminine having things such as "long eyelashes, clear skin, silky hair" it didn't help the fact I acted pre like a nun in training than a boy
June 14th 597 AD 11:53am
This date is of high importance for it was when I first realized the truth in what I am
"Ok if ya would turn to Mark 16:17 you' d find how to exorcise a demon, would anyone like to read what it says?" -Sister Grace
Rin raised his hand but as always the teacher made sure not to call on him as always
"Lilith would ya mind reading it dear?" -Sister Grace
"And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons" -Lilith
"Well good job, anyway, look at the time y'all ought to go prepare yourself for afternoon prayers, oh ya, and Rin, stay here after class would ya" -Sister Grace
As the class left Rin didn't care to stay much longer, he already knew what Grace was going to say, he began to leave the room disobeying Grace's previous order to stay
Grace grabs Rin's arm as he begins to walk out of the classroom
"Rin, do you think this is a game? ya a boy, ya turning 10 next year, ya shouldn't be in nun training" -Sister Grace
"Why is it important that I'm a man doing nun training? What are you, a sexist or a sister?" -Rin
Grace was obviously frustrated with Rin at this point but rather than apologize he gave a blank expression
She slapped Rin on the face
"Starting tomorrow you'll be assigned to wood cutting, if ya don't do your daily quota every day you won't be given any food so ya better not slack off and BETTER not be caught coming to interrupt the classes for nuns anymore" -Sister Grace
7:26pm
I watched as my mother figure, Casey braided Lilith's hair, whom I call my sister
"Caseeeey, that annoying sister said I can't go to the nun classes anymore" -Rin whined
"Oh is that why she told you to stay in class" -Lilith
"I'm more surprised she didn't do it sooner seeing how Rin isn't supposed to be there" -Casey
"So what task did she give you?" -Lilith
"Woodcutting" -Rin
"Ha wood cutting! That's such a boring task" -Lilith laughed
"Ya ya shut it" -Rin
"Don't worry I'll try to reason with Sister Grace tomorrow, after all your hands are way too soft to hold an axe let alone chop a tree down" -Casey
"Thanks a ton Casey, I owe you (again)" -Rin
"I think he should try wood cutting, he can't become a nun so she can't live here forever y'know" -Lilith
"You do have a point, sorry Rin I might have to agree with Lilith on this one" -Casey
"W-what!? I see non-nuns here a lot??" -Rin
"Those are exorcists, they travel to many churches for God's blessings" -Casey
"Why don't I just do that then!" -Rin said excitedly
"You do realize you would have to fight demons right? I don't think soft hands would make the cut" -Lilith
"Urg, I hate those demons their scary" -Rin
Casey gave Rin a big hug
"ya I'd be worried sick if something happened to him" -Casey
"Caseeeeeey your chocking me" -Rin
"Holy shit! Look at the time! Rin goes to shower and comes back so I can braid your hair, by the time you do that I'd be done with Lilith" -Casey
"Should a sister of the church really use such language" -Lilith
1:41am
The sound of howls can be heard across the church, I got off my bed half awake, lit a candle, and left my room
A foul Oder filled the church, it was not one old or rotten eggs, if smelled more like a dead body and a large one at that, as I left my room I saw the crosses on the walls of the church were flipped, that's the sign of the devil and a strong one on that, the stronger one must be attracting the smaller ones, I have to find Lilith and Casey quickly
I ran in the hall towards Lilith's room when someone grabbed me and covered my mouth, I looked up to see Casey
"Quiet, we have to run" -Casey
"But what about Lilith??" -Rin
"She's safe right now, so let's go" -Casey
"Are you sure??? Isn't this something we should call excoriates for????" -Rin
Casey didn't say a word, she took my arm and started to run with me, it hurt by how fast she was, this was unlike her
By the time we reached the sanctuary the father, exorcist, and other nuns were waiting there
"Let the boy go sister Casey, you're not in your right mind, you don't want to do this" -Father
Casey turned around and started to turn the opposite way when she was hit in the head by a hammer, she was bleeding and unconscious but luckily still breathing
"Casey, are you ok?! Father, what's happening?!" -Rin
When I turned around to look at my father he stabbed me in the arm with a small dagger
I screamed in pain, I've never felt such pain before, as tears filled my eyes my vision blurred but was still concise
The father picked me up and tied me to a chair, he made sure to cover my mouth so that I'd be unable to speak
A wave of emotions came through me, confusion, fear, and anger
The father had 3 things with him, a cross, a bible, and a cup of holy water
He took the cup of holy water and splashed it on me, I screamed and groaned in pain, for some strange reason this water was burning me, it felt like my own blood was boiling by coming into contact with it
The father held the bible in his right hand and in his left he held a cross which he pointed at me
"In the name of Jesus Christ I one of God's disciples commend you to leave this realm of humans and return to your inner purgatory" -Father
One of the exorcists began to prepare to pierce my heart with a dagger as he chanted
"With the grace of Christ I hereby command you to take divine judgment for your sins and face eternity in hell" -Father
As the father finished his chant the exorcist pierced my heart with the dagger
My breathing stopped, tears stopped to fall, and the light within my eye began to fade, as I died the last thing I saw was the father. Smiling