~Even if in the end I must stand against the world… I am not ashamed of myself~
1. A Name That Changed the Direction of Fate
Misaki…
That name is no longer just a call.
It is a crossroads.
A blade that split my life into two parts:
before I met her—
and after everything fell apart.
If I had never met Misaki,
perhaps my path would have been different.
My rotten memories might have stayed buried,
and I could have lived like an ordinary person—
without having to speak with shadows.
But can a life like that truly be called living?
-----------------------------------------------------------------
2. Doubt Built by the Past
Doubt is never born from emptiness.
It is built from ruins—
from losses that were never fully mourned,
from faces I failed to save.
Since coming to know that chain of memories,
I lost my trust—
in people,
and in myself.
Yet ironically,
by reopening those same wounds,
I was tempted to open my heart again.
And I was surprised to realize:
opening myself was not as hard as I feared.
What was difficult
was accepting
that I opened it for the wrong person.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
3. The Desire to Escape Fear
I am tired of holding back
what keeps pressing inside my chest.
Tired of living inside a fear
that has no clear shape.
There are too many feelings I want to release.
Too many doors within me I want to open—
yet must keep closed just to appear fine.
This body is no longer enough
to contain all these waves.
And in the middle of that suffocation,
I face the cruelest task given to humans:
to choose.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
4. Truth Is Relative
I choose—
even though I am never fully certain
whether this path is straight
or deeply mistaken.
Because to me,
truth is never absolute.
It is always relative,
bound to the viewpoint of the one who bears the consequences.
Perhaps what truly exists is not truth—
but understanding.
And my understanding today says one thing:
love never guarantees safety.
It only guarantees
that the wound will cut deeper.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
5. Two Faces in the Same Mirror
On one side—
I am a child who failed his role.
One who may have disappointed his parents
because of his own ego.
On the other—
I look like a masked hero.
Someone who, with his own hands,
freed the children who had long been humiliated and crushed by Hiroshi.
The distance I walked is the same.
But the meaning created is completely opposite.
I don't know which face is more honest.
Or perhaps—
both are truly me.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
6. A World I Must Oppose
Now I understand one thing:
whatever I do,
the world will still choose a role for me.
Villain.
Hero.
Or merely a victim who learned to bite back.
And if in the end I must stand against the world—
not as someone righteous,
not as someone pure—
then so be it.
At least I walk with my own awareness.
With blood on my hands.
With trembling in my soul.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
7. Closing – A Small Word That Becomes an Oath
Even if in the end I must stand against the world…
I am not ashamed of myself.
Not because I am right—
but because I have stopped lying
to the darkness I now call mine.