The sun was already down in the sky, and with the rain, it was getting dark much earlier.
As soon as we finished our arrangements, we headed to our rooms to get ready. I was going to my room to pack my things.
Three thousand years... and I was still insisting on these situations. How fucking stupid.
The silence of the courtyard was left behind as I walked through the corridors of the inn.
I passed through the hall and found Lina where she always was at that time, in the kitchen, stacking dishes stronger than necessary.
Her shoulders were stiff. Her beagle ears were drooping. And her tail was quiet.
"They are going to break" I commented, leaning against the doorframe.
Lina stopped, took a deep breath, and went back to stacking more carefully.
"If I break them, i'll just put it on your bill" she replied, without looking at me.
I approached her and took one of the plates from her hand, placing it back on the stack.
"Lina..."
She stopped and slowly turned to face me. Her greenish-brown eyes were wet, her face streaked with tears.
"How long?"
I took a deep breath.
"I don't know."
"That's not an answer."
"But it's all I have."
She clenched her fists and took another deep breath, as if trying to hold something inside.
"Do you think it doesn't hurt? That we don't care?"
Her voice was rising, and tears were falling like a furious waterfall. She pounded my chest with her clenched fists, but I barely moved.
Silence. She stopped with her hands on me. Why do these things have to be so difficult?
"I know."
Maybe she was expecting an apology, a provocation, or a lie. But unfortunately, I had none of those to give.
Before I could say anything, she put her hand on my face.
"I'm not good at goodbyes, you know..."
"Me neither..."
She stood on her tiptoes, wrapping her arms around my neck, and gave me a big hug. The scent of herbs and vanilla that always surrounded her mingled with the warmth of her body.
I felt her breath catch for a moment. And after a few moments, she relaxed.
"You stink of cigarettes."
I smiled.
"And you talk too much."
She lifted her face to look at me. Her nose was red, her eyes were shining with tears.
"It's good that you're coming back," she said softly.
I slowly let her go and took a step back, but didn't answer.
She just turned to the counter, picked up a cracked plate, and muttered:
"I'll deduct it from your tab.
I chuckled softly and walked through the door toward my room.
I opened the door and started putting everything in my travel bag.
It was a dirty bag, made of Giletin-Red leather, magical beasts capable of carrying large amounts of items.
I looked at the room where I had spent most of the last few years.
It's best for them, they'll be safe...
"...they're all going to die..."
I slapped my face. My cheek began to burn.
That's the problem with getting attached. One of my most despicable habits...
The room seemed smaller than usual. Or maybe it was the weight on my chest and the headache that made it suffocating.
My hands trembled slightly as I closed them around the straps of the backpack.
This is the right thing to do. They'll be much better off without me.
Click*
The sound of the door closing behind me froze my body.
I didn't need to turn around to know.
Her footsteps were slow, almost hesitant, and silent, as if she were treading on a minefield.
When I turned around, her green eyes were shining in the dark, the dim light from the lantern reflecting in them like the sea in a storm.
She was on the edge of the bed. Her fingers clenched the wood as if she wanted to grab something that was already slipping away.
— Rucas...
There was no anger in her voice.
I remained silent. I didn't want to make things worse.
Gineviv took a step forward. Then another. With each movement, she seemed more determined.
And then, we were just inches apart when her hand touched my face.
It was a light touch, but it carried a weight that crushed me.
"Why do you have to leave..."
It wasn't a question, because she already knew the answer, but I answered anyway.
I closed my eyes, letting my face rest against her warm palm.
"It's what I do..."
My voice came out harsher than I intended.
She took a deep breath, but her breath faltered at the end.
"What if this time I asked you to stay?"
It was unfair... Unfair because she knew the answer.
"Then I would lie to you and say I'd think about it."
Gineviv laughed.
A bitter, broken laugh.
"Damn liar."
Before I could respond, she stood up and kissed me. There was no hesitation on her part. Her body pressed against mine, her hands pulling me with an intensity that made my blood boil.
And I kissed her back. My arms slid around her waist, pulling her closer.
She gasped against my lips as my hands moved up to her hair, pulling it gently.
Her fingers clung to my shirt, as if she wanted to rip it off, as if she wanted to stop me from leaving.
And for a moment, I let her. For a moment, I allowed myself to forget that leaving was inevitable.
Our breaths were ragged, the kisses became more intense, more desperate. My hands explored her curves, squeezing her hips so hard that they drew gasps from her.
Her body pressed against mine, hot and throbbing.
My mind screamed to stop.
"...take her..."
"...don't go..."
But my body... my body just wanted to engrave this memory of her in me, forever.
My hands moved down to her butt, she gasped loudly when I pulled her tail, and her nails scratched my back when I lifted her in my arms.
Her kisses trailed down my neck, hot, wet, hungry.
"...KILL HER..."
Then I stopped.
With a hesitant movement, I separated our bodies, gently placing her back on the floor.
Gineviv was panting, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Her eyes, moist, stared at me.
But she understood.
Because the pain flashed in her eyes even before she spoke.
"You're still leaving, aren't you?"
My heart sank in my chest like an anchor falling to the ground.
"I have to."
She laughed again, but there was no joy in it. Her eyes glistened with the tears she was trying to hold back.
"I knew... deep down I knew."
She lowered her head, her fists clenched at her sides.
So I grabbed my backpack and turned away before my own determination faltered. My steps carried me to the door.
But before I left, I heard her voice... low, fragile, broken.
"Your room will always be here for you."
I didn't look back. So I just kept going.
I left before what remained of my sanity was left behind with her.
I grabbed my cape and got dressed.
I walked out the back door and took one last look at the training field. I hope they continue to use it.
I lit a cigarette and headed for the inn entrance, where the two elves were waiting for me.
They were also hooded, with their travel bags on their backs, ready to leave.
As I approached, they turned to me.
Lurya, with her golden eyes, had a look that mixed exhaustion and relief, perhaps because she had finally made progress in her pursuit.
"All set?"
It took me a while to respond.
I took one last look at the front door, knowing I would probably never see it again.
Then I turned my back and answered loudly and clearly.
"No, but I'm used to it."
I got no response, but I heard the two of them joining me as we headed toward the city exit.