Chapter 171: Sheldon's Self-Rescue Plan
Ethan and Leonard returned empty-handed.
Before Sheldon even had the chance to demonstrate the full extent of his "anger," Penny had already latched onto him again.
This time, he was absolutely certain.
The situation had become serious enough that action was required.
Fortunately, a breakthrough arrived sooner than expected.
At lunchtime in the university cafeteria, Sheldon, Leonard, Howard, and Raj were sitting together as usual.
Sheldon stared at his lunch.
His eyelids grew heavier.
And heavier.
Slowly drooping lower and lower.
Then—
His eyes closed completely.
The next second, he fell asleep sitting upright in his chair.
"Sheldon?" Leonard called instinctively. "Sheldon?"
Sheldon jolted awake so violently he nearly launched himself out of his seat.
At that moment, a tray landed on the table.
Leslie Winkle sat down and joined them.
As usual, she immediately started teasing Sheldon.
Sheldon instinctively opened his mouth to fire back.
But before the words came out, he realized something.
He was too tired to argue.
So he merely sighed.
Leslie studied him for a moment.
"I heard you've been pulling all-nighters with Middle-earth Barbie."
Sheldon answered weakly.
"If by that you mean a blonde neighbor knocking on my bedroom door at two-thirty in the morning to ask why the third boss in Burning Spirit Temple keeps targeting her..."
"Then yes."
He paused.
His voice sounded surprisingly pitiful.
"She entered my bedroom without permission."
"No one is allowed to enter my bedroom."
Leslie raised an eyebrow and leaned forward.
"Let me guess."
"Things aren't going very well for her in real life?"
"Correct," Leonard replied from beside him.
"Failed audition."
"Career stagnation."
"Low mood."
"Then that explains it," Leslie declared immediately.
"She's escaping into the online world to compensate for sexual frustration."
Sheldon slowly turned toward her.
"Please define the term you just used."
"Sexual frustration."
Leslie shrugged.
"Repeated failures in intimacy and being desired lead to a diminished sense of self-worth."
"Grinding levels, collecting gear, seeking attention—it's all fundamentally because she's not getting laid."
"I don't think that's it," Leonard protested.
"She's trying to regain her confidence. It doesn't have anything to do with sex."
"Everything has something to do with sex," Leslie replied matter-of-factly.
"I completely agree."
Howard raised a hand for a high-five.
She ignored him.
Sheldon remained unconvinced.
"Your conclusion lacks sufficient supporting data."
"Then answer a few questions."
Leslie looked directly at him.
"Has she been dating anyone recently?"
"No."
"Has she shown significant romantic interest in anyone lately?"
Sheldon thought carefully.
"...No."
"And does she spend every day talking to you about game mechanics?"
"Yes."
"Are you currently the most stable and consistent social relationship in her life?"
Sheldon pressed his lips together.
That question made him deeply uncomfortable.
Being followed around by a woman every day felt like torture.
Eventually, he nodded.
"Congratulations."
Leslie raised her glass.
"You are now her substitute for sex."
Sheldon's face visibly collapsed.
That afternoon, Sheldon sat in his office and carefully wrote a title across the top of a document:
Penny Social Recovery Plan (Draft Version)
Objective:
Return Penny from the virtual world to reality.
Free Sheldon.
Method:
Introduce real-world social stimulation.
Conclusion:
A suitable male companion is required.
As Sheldon analyzed the problem, he quickly realized the list of candidates was extremely limited.
Leonard?
Explicitly rejected.
Howard?
Less likely than achieving world peace.
Raj?
Severe communication issues around women.
Which left...
His gaze settled on the final name.
Ethan.
Penny had never disliked Ethan.
From appearance, financial stability, social standing, and overall compatibility, Ethan ranked as an exceptionally strong candidate.
The logic chain completed itself:
Penny develops a real-life relationship with Ethan
→ Real-life satisfaction increases
→ Dependence on gaming decreases
→ Sheldon is liberated
Perfect.
He even added a note beneath the conclusion:
Reference Case: Paige + Ethan = Social Stability = Paige Becomes Tolerable
That evening, Sheldon knocked on Ethan's bedroom door.
The door opened.
Seeing Sheldon's unusually serious expression, Ethan blinked.
"I need to discuss a solution to Penny's problem."
Straight to the point.
Ethan stared at him for two seconds before stepping aside.
"...Alright."
Sheldon entered and immediately got down to business.
"I believe Penny's problem is not merely online gaming addiction."
"Rather, she lacks a critical source of stimulation in real life."
Ethan sat down on the bed.
"What do you mean?"
"A romantic partner."
Sheldon said it calmly.
"If she re-establishes a stable romantic and intimate life, her dependence on the virtual world should decrease significantly."
Ethan looked surprised and couldn't help laughing.
"And where exactly did you get that theory?"
"Leslie Winkle."
Sheldon's expression remained blank.
"While I have no respect for her professionalism as a scientist or her basic standards as a human being..."
"I must acknowledge that she possesses extensive practical experience in casual relationships."
He paused.
"Leslie believes Penny is experiencing romantic frustration and is therefore escaping reality."
Ethan considered it.
Then nodded.
"I don't entirely disagree."
"A lot of people become obsessed with games because they're trying to fill a gap in their real lives."
Sheldon's eyes brightened.
"So what should be done?"
Ethan gave him a cautious look.
"Penny is attractive."
"That's not really debatable."
"But her current state significantly reduces that attractiveness."
Sheldon nodded immediately.
"There has been a noticeable decline in her fashion standards."
"Additionally, oil production in her hair has exceeded acceptable levels."
"Exactly."
Ethan continued.
"She's so consumed by the game that she's stopped investing effort into herself."
"Which means she's lost a lot of her usual charm."
"So?" Sheldon prompted.
Ethan folded his arms.
"If you chase butterflies, they'll fly away."
"But if you build a garden, the butterflies come to you."
He continued:
"To get Penny to step away from the game, even temporarily, she needs to shower."
"Change clothes."
"Get out of that environment."
He paused.
"Add the right atmosphere."
"A little alcohol."
"That would probably help too."
Sheldon immediately began constructing a mental model.
"First: Penny must regain her attractiveness."
"Second: environment. Location and atmosphere influence emotional state."
"Third: alcohol lowers psychological defenses and increases social flexibility."
"And temporary separation from the game disrupts the reward cycle."
He nodded seriously.
"I understand."
Ethan looked skeptical.
"You do?"
"Yes."
Sheldon replied.
"We can treat this as an experiment."
Then he paused.
"You'll help me assist Penny, correct?"
"Of course."
Ethan smiled.
"Happy to help whenever."
"I've got a few good bottles of wine, too."
"Excellent."
Sheldon turned toward the door.
"I now know exactly what needs to be done."
He left with absolute conviction.
By this point, he had already formulated a complete operational plan.
STAGE 1
Sheldon stood at his desk.
Five bottles of alcohol sat neatly arranged before him.
Three of them belonged to Ethan.
Wearing disposable gloves, he worked with intense concentration.
"Sweet surface notes."
"Smooth entry."
"Alcohol content significantly higher than subjective perception..."
He muttered to himself while flipping through a magazine, carefully researching his first step toward freedom.
This was a special supplemental issue of Scientific American.
The cover had been plastered with colorful sticky notes.
Six entire pages were dedicated to discussing the relationship between taste misjudgment and uncontrolled alcohol consumption.
Originally, Sheldon had simply considered it an interesting read.
Now, it had officially become part of his experimental reference materials.
Following the proportions outlined in the article, Sheldon carefully began mixing ingredients.
"High-proof distilled liquor is the DPS," he muttered.
"It provides the primary damage output and is responsible for breaking through psychological resistance."
"Fruit liqueur serves as the tank."
"It attracts attention and lowers the target's awareness of the high alcohol content."
He paused when he reached the next ingredient.
"Carbonation..."
After serious consideration, he nodded.
"It can reluctantly be classified as the healer."
"It enhances the drinking experience while delaying subjective awareness of intoxication."
The resulting combination was clearly unsuitable for driving or making important life decisions.
It was the textbook definition of a deceptively dangerous cocktail.
Sheldon checked off a box in his notebook.
Then he moved on to the next phase.
Skip Alpha Testing (internal testing).
Proceed directly to Beta Testing (limited public release).
STAGE 2
That evening.
A knock sounded at Penny's door.
When she opened it, she froze.
Sheldon stood outside wearing disposable gloves and carrying an entire set of cleaning supplies.
"...What are you doing?" she asked suspiciously.
"Preparing for a dungeon run," Sheldon replied seriously.
"...What?"
"Today, Ethan and I will be taking you through a high-difficulty dungeon."
"The boss drops equipment you've wanted for a very long time."
As he spoke, he stepped inside and immediately surveyed the apartment.
Empty pizza boxes.
Overturned energy drink cans.
Snack wrappers scattered across the floor.
And the ever-present game screen glowing on her computer.
Sheldon stopped and turned toward her.
"Your living environment has begun to significantly impair your decision-making abilities."
Then he added:
"And you need a shower."
"Hey!" Penny protested immediately.
"This is just a side effect of serious gear farming!"
"Effort alone is not sufficient," Sheldon corrected.
"Poor lifestyle habits result in cognitive decline."
His tone remained calm.
But completely non-negotiable.
"If you want today's dungeon run to succeed, please shower and change clothes immediately."
Without another explanation, he got to work.
Vacuuming.
Wiping tables.
Collecting trash.
Opening windows.
Penny crossed her arms and watched.
Her expression gradually shifted from suspicion to confusion.
"You seem..." she narrowed her eyes, "...really happy today."
"That depends on the dungeon results," Sheldon replied while cleaning.
"If the run succeeds, I will experience considerable satisfaction."
Penny gave up trying to understand him.
Thinking about the dungeon that had blocked her progress for days, she finally sighed.
"...Fine."
STAGE 3
By the time Ethan arrived, the apartment had been completely transformed.
The lighting had been adjusted to a warm glow.
Takeout containers were neatly arranged on the table.
The strange odors were gone.
Only the faint aroma of food remained.
He glanced around and chuckled.
"This is... dungeon-run atmosphere?"
"Correct."
Sheldon nodded.
"A favorable environment improves success rates."
Penny had changed clothes.
She wasn't dressed up.
She wasn't trying to look sexy.
She was simply wearing clean, comfortable lounge clothes for the first time in days.
Her hair had just been washed.
A familiar, pleasant scent lingered around her.
Ethan looked at her for a moment.
Then simply smiled.
The three of them gathered around the coffee table and opened their laptops.
The dungeon began.
This time, surprisingly, everything went smoothly.
Penny didn't charge ahead recklessly.
She didn't steal aggro.
She even repositioned herself before major attacks.
"See?" she said excitedly.
"I already learned all this!"
"You did."
Ethan smiled encouragingly.
"Keep it up. We're almost at the boss."
With Ethan and Sheldon working together, every small mistake Penny made was immediately corrected.
Not long afterward, the boss fell.
Loot notifications appeared.
And among the rewards...
Was the exact piece of equipment Penny had been obsessing over for days.
She jumped off the couch.
"I GOT IT!!!"
Spinning around, she threw her arms around Ethan in excitement, completely unaware of what she was doing.
Meanwhile, Sheldon applauded and stood up.
"According to accepted social conventions," he announced, "this is a moment worthy of celebration."
He headed toward the kitchen and began opening the takeout containers.
"We should—"
"Have a drink!" Penny interrupted immediately.
Before Ethan could respond, Sheldon was already carrying over the cocktails.
The drinks looked beautiful.
Bright colors.
Fresh aroma.
They appeared to be ordinary low-alcohol fruit cocktails.
Ethan felt that something was slightly off.
But the entire evening had flowed so naturally that nothing seemed suspicious.
"What's this?" Penny asked.
"A new style of cocktail," Sheldon replied.
"Theoretically, it assists in relaxing the nervous system."
He elaborated:
"Moderate alcohol consumption reinforces positive experiential memory."
"This allows correct behavior patterns to transition more efficiently into muscle memory, thereby improving future dungeon performance."
"That actually makes sense," Penny said.
Then she took a huge gulp.
"It's pretty good," Ethan admitted after tasting it.
The drink was unexpectedly delicious.
Sweet.
Smooth.
Almost no alcohol burn.
Penny drank quickly.
Ethan intended to pace himself.
Somehow, he ended up drinking several glasses too.
Sheldon never touched a drop.
Like someone serving tea to guests, he simply kept refilling their glasses.
Second round.
Third round.
The lighting seemed softer.
Conversations drifted away from dungeons and game mechanics.
Then toward life.
Then toward completely random topics that barely followed any logic at all.
Penny's speech became noticeably faster.
Her laugh came easier and easier.
Ethan leaned back against the couch.
His reactions slowed slightly.
Sheldon glanced at the clock.
Then carefully observed both of them.
Finally, he stood.
"I just remembered that I have some data requiring immediate documentation."
"Right now?" Penny asked hazily.
"Yes."
Sheldon nodded seriously.
"Otherwise, I won't be able to sleep."
Without hesitation, he left the apartment and quietly closed the door behind him.
At some point, the music had shifted to a soft, relaxing tune.
Ethan and Penny sat closer than before.
Their conversation had long since stopped carrying any real meaning.
One would say something.
The other would laugh uncontrollably.
Then they'd both forget what they had been talking about.
For a brief moment, it felt as though time itself had paused.
Outside the window, city lights flickered softly against the night.
In his own room, Sheldon lay on his bed with his eyes open.
"If my hypothesis is correct," he murmured,
"then after tonight..."
"...I will once again possess a peaceful life."
Satisfied, he closed his eyes.
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