Chapter 142
The spirit of the Foolish Old Man Who Removed the Mountains was certainly admirable.
But in real life, people with that level of determination and persistence were rare.
Most people, as Sheldon would put it, simply chose the more practical solution—
they moved away.
So when the three of them told Ethan that they had run into Penny and her new boyfriend on the way home, and that Leonard had also decided to "give up rationally" and redirect his attention toward other women, Ethan wasn't surprised in the slightest.
…
The four-man nerd squad had just returned from a Renaissance fair.
All four were dressed head-to-toe in full cosplay outfits, while Raj carried several bags of takeout in his hands.
Sheldon walked in front.
He wore a dark brown monk's robe with the hood pulled tightly over his head. A comically oversized wooden cross hung from his chest.
He looked less like someone returning from a festival and more like a man preparing to preside over the trial of heretics.
Howard had gone in the exact opposite direction.
His bright red, yellow, and blue jester costume practically glowed under the apartment lights.
The tight diamond-patterned fabric and floppy double-pointed hat made him look like a particularly ridiculous circus performer.
Leonard's outfit was comparatively "serious."
Chainmail armor. Matching hood and gloves.
Over that, a deep blue knight's tabard.
The overall effect landed somewhere between "heroic medieval knight" and "museum tour guide who wasn't tall enough for the role."
Raj quietly followed behind them.
His outfit was the most understated of the group—a brown medieval commoner's tunic paired with a green soft cap.
He looked exactly like an innocent background extra whose only job was watching drama unfold.
"Your costumes actually look pretty good," Ethan said honestly after looking them over. "Sounds like the Renaissance fair had a great atmosphere."
"It absolutely did not qualify as a Renaissance fair," Sheldon immediately corrected him, his tone dripping with disdain.
"It was far closer to the Dark Ages."
"A gathering of historically illiterate people using the event as an excuse to wear random clothing with complete disregard for historical accuracy and authenticity."
He continued sternly:
"Ethan, your decision not to attend was exceptionally wise."
Ethan: "..."
Was it my decision?
Wasn't it you who insisted that without an appropriate costume I was forbidden from attending?
You were the one claiming modern clothing would destroy the atmosphere and dramatically lower the overall rating of your group.
Then you very thoughtfully suggested I stay home alone and reflect on myself.
Ethan decided to skip the topic entirely and move straight to the important part.
"So Penny really does have a new boyfriend?"
"Yep." Raj nodded. "His name's Eric, apparently. Tall, broad shoulders, looks like he actually works out."
"Yes," Howard added immediately. "Leonard running into the two of them was painfully awkward."
"It wasn't awkward at all," Leonard shot back almost instantly, speaking far too quickly.
"Okay, maybe it wasn't fun exactly."
He tried very hard to sound completely unaffected.
"Besides, what does it matter? We went on one date, then stopped dating. End of story."
"The way you said 'end of story,'" Raj continued helpfully, "did you perhaps mean—"
"When she's back at her apartment making out with another guy," Raj continued mercilessly, "you were busy with Wolowitz researching fifteenth-century soap?"
"That was not fifteenth-century soap, alright?!" Sheldon exploded instantly, his voice filled with outrage.
"My God, those people desperately need to relearn basic terminology."
"Just because you put the word ancient in front of something doesn't magically transform it into a historically accurate medieval artifact."
Leonard took a deep breath.
"You know what? I'm actually glad Penny has moved on."
"Because now," he declared seriously, "I'm finally free to move forward too."
Howard narrowed his eyes.
"So what you're saying is… all this time, you were intentionally holding yourself back and choosing not to date?"
"Exactly." Leonard nodded. "Out of respect for her."
"Then how do you explain the ten years before you met Penny?" Howard immediately fired back.
Raj added helpfully:
"Yeah. Who exactly were you respecting back then?"
"I've dated plenty of women," Leonard argued quickly, beginning to list names.
"Like Joyce Kim… and Leslie Winkle…"
His voice gradually became quieter and quieter.
Sheldon stood up.
"I would like to formally notify the editors of the Oxford English Dictionary…"
"…that the word many has now officially been redefined to mean two."
Howard turned toward Ethan.
"Hey, Ethan. Since Penny has a new boyfriend now, and Leonard's decided to pursue other women…"
"…doesn't that mean our bet already has a winner?"
"No, no, no." Ethan shook his head immediately. "The agreement was two years."
"There's still one year, eleven months, and three weeks left."
Howard looked deeply dissatisfied.
"So your position is…"
"…even though reality is already speeding full force toward we totally won this bet…"
"…we still have to sit here politely, buckle our seatbelts, and watch the car slowly crawl to the finish line?"
"Yes," Ethan answered calmly.
"Until the very last moment, you never know who's really going to win."
"Fine." Howard sighed dramatically.
Friday night.
Ethan sat in the living room staring blankly at his laptop.
Meanwhile, Leonard busied himself around the dining table.
Red wine. Candles. Napkins.
Everything arranged with obsessive precision.
Clearly, he was preparing for a date.
At that moment, Sheldon burst into the apartment carrying a cardboard box.
"Good news!"
"My mother mailed me my Nintendo Entertainment System!"
"Awesome," Ethan replied cooperatively.
"Sorry," Leonard said while carefully polishing a wine glass, "but I already have plans tonight."
"But it's Friday!" Sheldon protested while opening the box.
"Friday has always been Retro Gaming Night!"
Ethan suddenly remembered something.
"Hey, Sheldon. I was thinking maybe we could switch things up on Fridays."
"Like… all five of us playing Texas Hold'em together."
"I refuse." Sheldon turned around immediately, his tone unwavering.
"Texas Hold'em is an inefficient game built upon deception, emotional instability, and fundamentally flawed probability intuition."
"But—" Ethan tried again.
"Uh…" Leonard awkwardly cleared his throat. "Guys… I sort of have private plans tonight."
He glanced at Ethan, then quickly at Sheldon.
"Leslie's coming over."
Ethan smiled and made an "OK" gesture while casually grabbing his jacket.
"So?" Sheldon asked.
"Could you maybe…" Leonard hesitated. "…give me some privacy?"
The apartment fell silent for a second.
"You are asking us," Sheldon clarified carefully, "to leave our own apartment?"
"Yes." Leonard nodded.
Ethan immediately stepped in.
"Sheldon, remember our secret Saturday agreement?"
"If two people need privacy, what's the other person supposed to do?"
"Very well." Sheldon agreed surprisingly quickly.
He picked up his coat, grabbed his laptop, and walked toward the door.
Then he added:
"I will continue my game progress in the hallway."
The two of them left the apartment, and the door closed behind them.
Sheldon immediately sat down on the staircase outside their apartment.
Ethan stared at him.
"…You're seriously going to play games out here?"
"Of course." Sheldon didn't even look up.
"The Wi-Fi signal here is only 7% weaker than inside the apartment."
"However, environmental interference is reduced by 42%."
"While occasional pedestrian traffic exists, the overall atmosphere is still vastly superior to Leonard's date."
Ethan shrugged.
"Well, I'm heading out to play Texas Hold'em. Want to come?"
"As I already stated, I refuse," Sheldon reiterated firmly.
"My Meemaw once taught me how to play cards."
"I do not believe the experience contributed positively to my life in any measurable way."
Ethan thought for a moment before casually saying:
"Your mom mentioned earlier that Paige is in Las Vegas now."
"She's apparently become pretty successful playing Texas Hold'em."
"If she ever comes to New York, and we all end up playing together someday…"
"…what happens if you lose to her?"
Sheldon immediately looked up.
"Why would we all be playing cards together?"
"Well, she likes poker. I like poker."
"And maybe one day we invite you too."
Sheldon considered this very seriously.
"…I still will not go play Texas Hold'em with you tonight."
He paused briefly before continuing:
"However…"
"…I am willing to approve a weekly Friday poker night inside the apartment."
Ethan raised an eyebrow.
"Didn't you just say poker was inefficient?"
"Yes." Sheldon nodded calmly.
"But in order to prove that Paige is not the superior participant in this activity, systematic long-term practice has become necessary."
He thought for another second, then added:
"Of course, this is not competition."
"I simply refuse to lose to her due to inadequate preparation."