Merrily whistling a jaunty tone, the unruly blond strolled through the area dedicated to clubs and societies for researching culinary techniques and methods. He had to admit the Totsuki Academy sure had a butt load of money if they were able to buy all this land for simple research societies alone.
An entire small town could fit in this humongous strip of land, yet all that occupied this overly extended land were a few clubs that could be counted on two hands.
However, there was one thing that still bugged him no matter how much he tried to stay optimistic. There was no Ramen Society! I mean what the actual hell? Didn't these ignorant people realize that there was neither class nor taste on a table without ramen on it?
Didn't these people have the necessary amount of brain cells to realize that without a Ramen Society, their hard work and struggles were all for naught? Ramen was life!
He would have to speak with the old man and give him a piece of his mind!
Wait, if he gave the old coot a piece of his mind, he would have less pieces of his mind and would be reduced to a blabbering idiot!
Hell no! He was in no mood to give away anything, let alone a piece of his mind. Then he should do the opposite and take a piece of the old man's mind and put it with his own! Yeah that would work, no matter how wrinkly and used it would be!
Shaking his head to clear his rather disturbing thoughts, Haru absentmindedly winked at a passing girl, causing said female to blink in surprise with her cheeks burning red as he walked away with a soft chuckle.
Hey he may be busy thinking some serious thoughts about the wellbeing of the world—meaning ramen—but he was not busy enough to overlook a smoking hot babe while she passed by him. That would be a total waste!
Coming back to the topic at hand, Isshiki had explained the mechanics of the clubs and their roles in the grand scheme. Building a club from scratch would take a lot of time, subtle manipulations and a few bouts of ass-kicking—the last one was only reserved for him—but, taking another club was a real hassle.
In order to take an already existing club, you had to first issue a challenge, have the challenge accepted, send a former request to the assigned department, find three judges and defeat the president of the club in a Food War in front of the whole Academy!
Everything in this forsaken academy was Food War this and that! Did everything have to be a war in here? If they were really that obsessed with war, then he would gladly wage war on them and kick their asses to kingdom come without taking their names!
He had tried to request a meeting with the old man about this world-threatening issue, but the beautiful secretary had told him about the Director's absence. In compensation for traveling all the way to the top of the mountain for naught, he had gotten a full blown kiss from the busty secretary and left her weak in the knees before bolting out of the door like a bat out of hell!
However, while the end result of that disastrous fiasco had been somewhat satisfying and pleasurable, he had been left downtrodden to hear that his "Ramen Society" building would be postponed for a couple of days!
With no other choice left, he had revisited the board to see what other clubs there were and what they were researching. In the end, Bowl Club had stood out from the rest due to its proximity to ramen. Bowl Club researched any techniques or food types which were related or rather served in a bowl which meant he could somehow convince the president to change his mind.
If verbal persuasion didn't work… then… a convincing and respectably old-fashioned ass kicking would surely change his mind! Ass kicking always seemed to change the minds of others. It was like a universal language of acceptance and understanding!
"Umm dude… are ya dead or alive 'cause I can't tell from where I am standing." Haru announced in a deadpan voice as he halted in the front door of Bowl Club and got an eyeful of the unpleasantly depressing atmosphere of aforesaid club.
Actually, the gloom and doom aura was not due to the club room itself but rather from the miserable gentleman resting on a chair in the middle of the room, appearing as though he was a picture ripped from a newspaper in the 8os.
The sheer amount of melancholy oozing off of him was so overpowering that Haru did the only considerate thing he could to comfort the disheartened man. The blond Balance Keeper materialized an oversized snow ball double the size of a football and heartlessly launched it at the glum black haired man.
*SLAM!*
The snow ball connected with Kanichi's dejected neck, causing the gloomy man to scream a girly scream and slam face first into the front wall, slumping down in shock, pain and outrage. Where the hell did the snow ball come from? It was the middle of spring dammit!
Ignoring the stinging sensation in his neck, the indignant black haired man shot with a manly scream to confront the offender, only to find that the previously dusty floor was a little too smooth and slippery. The only conclusion of that action was his face becoming reacquainted with the humble floor.
Standing behind the groaning man, a grinning Haru nodded his head in satisfaction, greatly impressed with his sagely solution to the problem as he watched the aforementioned gloominess slowly leave the man.
While he had thought of asking the man of his dilemma, he knew it would've only saddened the guy even more and thus he would have had to comfort the man even more. Comforting someone never worked anyways, so why bother?
If someone is sad, kick their ass and make them forget their sadness. If someone is afraid, scare them so much that they forget their fear!
At least that is how he solved those problems and it always worked.
"You ok there, buddy?" he asked innocently as the second year student stood up with a groan. "I saw a dude throw something at you and bolt out of the door before I could see his face."
Kanichi gave the innocent blond a suspicious look, eyeing him up and down, before he remembered the source of his depression and got depressed…again! He couldn't even bring himself to care who the dude had been and why said guy had thrown a snow ball at his head.
Haru's eyebrows twitched when the guy sat down and an aura of intense gloominess surrounded him like a second skin. Apparently the snow ball wasn't big enough to get rid of his depression.
"So, you wanna talk about it?" he asked pointedly and looked around the room. He didn't like what he saw. First of all, the place was too small to be occupied by him. Secondly, it was dirty and messy with no sense of style. And thirdly, it reeked of dejection!
While he knew that researching about the countless secrets of ramen would take at least a few thousand years to accomplish, he knew that it required an intensive sense of care and gracefulness to properly research those secrets.
Thus this place required a much needed and much awaited renovation to bring it up to style. He would rather die than research the secrets of ramen in a place like this!
"Feel free to laugh." Kanichi retorted dejectedly. "I couldn't even protect Bowl Club."
"So would you get pissed if I laugh at your misery?" Haru asked curiously.
"Nah, I am too depressed to care," the black haired man muttered tiredly.
"Sorry buddy, but I don't laugh at people who don't get pissed off when I do." the blond rebuked dismissively. "It takes all the fun out of it"
Seriously, who would want to laugh at someone who doesn't care if he/ she is being laughed at? The person doing the laughing would look like a moron!
"If you are here to join the Club, you should just beat it, because we are doomed to shut down."
A massive sweat drop trailed down Haru's head. "So your girlfriend dumped your ass or something?"
Kanichi shook his head, too depressed to retort that he had no girlfriend to dump him.
Haru bent down and picked a recipe book from the floor with a sigh, lightly skimming over the recipes and carefully searching for those that would come in handy for his research. "These are quite interesting recipes, there buddy boy."
Kanichi's hair suddenly developed a mind of their own and straightened disturbing similar to another thing as said man shot out of his chair, hope, anxiety and a mixture of other emotions racing through his eyes. "You mean… you actually get it!?"
"Nope!"
"But you said they were interesting?" the president almost shouted in frustration.
"My bad, I meant the pictures were interesting, not the recipe." Haru retorted sheepishly, inwardly snickering as he saw the man deflate like an airless balloon. "But still, why are you looking as though you have a severe case of blue balls?"
"My poor Bowl Club! If only it weren't for Erina Nakiri…"
Haru's eyes lit up in happiness. "You mean sweet cheeks?"
Kanichi blinked curiously before shrugging lightly. "Yeah. That's how she does things around here. First she suggests that the Council cut the budget or take space from the group she doesn't like. She forces the motion through, grind people down until they have only one option."
"Do a striptease?" Haru asked hopefully. Man, he would love to see that!
Kanichi sweat dropped. This guy had some serious issues. "No, a Food War."
The blond's shoulders slumped in depression. "That's no fun."
Ignoring the depressed blond, Kanichi coughed into his hand. "In exchange for accepting a Food War, she makes a bunch of outrageous demands and in the end, she gets her ways. That's how she gains more and more power. As soon as the other members found out that we were up against Erina Nakiri, they all… freaking quit!"
If someone was to open the gate to the Bowl Club's room, all they would see would be two depressed men slumped against the farthest wall of the room, one grumbling about not seeing a striptease and the other muttering something along the lines of "doomed to get shut down".
Quite a sight to see!
It was exactly the kind of sight that greeted Ikumi Mito, the legendary Master of Meat when she entered the club room along with her workers. While she knew the depressed and poor sap known as Kanichi, she had trouble putting a face on the depressed blond since his head was hidden behind his folded knees.
From what she could see, he was quite muscular and tall no doubt. However, she was not here to admire someone else's muscle mass or height, she had but one purpose…
"It's exactly as you thought, Miss Mito, it's going to be easy to tear everything down and remodel." One of her assistants announced firmly, catching the attention of the two depressed men.
"Okay then, do so," she replied with a smirk.
Getting over his depression, Kanichi shot up from his miserable position and glared at the blonde bombshell. "What are you doing? What is this?"
Seeing the previously dejected man up and cheerful, Ikumi smirked smugly and sauntered up to the shivering man like a predator stalking its prey, until said prey was up against the wall. "What else? I am making a Preliminary inspection. You already know how this is going to play out, don't you?"
An evil smirk adored her young visage as she slammed her foot near his left and her hand on his right, effectively trapping him against the wall. "It's just like Miss Erina said, no matter how you dress it up, a rice bowl is a second rate dish. You are not needed here in Totsuki."
"Aww man, just look at those babies!" a loud voice butted in from the side lines, prompting the blonde girl to shoot the speaker a withering look, only to blink when she saw the previously depressed blond vigorously writing something on a notepad and giggling like a lunatic.
Haru wiped off a few traitorous drops of blood from his nose and pocketed his notepad before walking up to the duo "Heya babe."
"Hello." Ikumi flashed him a smug smirk, lightly licking her lips to make an impression.
"How about you let go of that wimp and trap me with those legs of yours?" the blond transfer student stated with a perverted giggle.
"Oh so you love being trapped between legs?" she asked with a smirk. Now that he was actually standing on his feet, she realized the boy was like a walking tank of compact muscles. She also realized he was the one of the transfer students who made a name for himself on the first day of school with his boldness and rudeness.
"Hell yeah!" Haru shouted in glee. "But let's forget about legs for a few…seconds and get down to business. You here to take over Bowl Club, right?"
The blond bombshell nodded smugly "Wanna do something about it?"
Haru snickered, "Well there are a lot of things I wanna do, but let's do the last one that comes to my mind, a Food Wand!"
"FOOD WAR!" Kanichi shouted in indignation. Wait a minute, who gave him the permission to do a Food War in his place?
"Whatever. Anyway, since you are known as the Meat Master, you must know how to work some meat," the blond immortal whispered slowly, causing the girl to take a few cautious steps back from the strange blond, cheeks flushed uncharacteristically red.
"W-what!?" she stuttered in shock as the blond stalked her with a wide grin, until her back was against the other wall of the room. The blond put both of his hands on either side of her head and trapped her, similar to how she had done to Kanichi.
She may act all smug, dress daring and even shamelessly flaunt her "goods", she was still inexperienced when it came to these kinds of things. Her wall against the wall, steel-like arms restricting her ways of escape and a huge body looming over her body, she felt like a mouse trapped between the claws of a tiger!
"I said you must know how to work… some meat since they call you the Meat Master." Haru whispered into her ear, lightly pressing his hulking body against her, while she stiffened like a rod. This was fun!
While he had known that modern generation seemed to have a disturbing penchant for developing sinful curves and equally sinful desire to dress daringly, but this blonde bombshell was taking it to a whole new level.
A short tied instead of worn, exposing her midriff, brightly colored bra visible underneath the short shirt and an equally short skirt. Honestly, when he saw her, he was hoping that she would be the kind of person to never let simple teasing get to her like this, but after witnessing her reaction to his question, his hopes had been crushed.
While he liked teasing inexperienced, young and impressionable maidens, he still longed for a partner to match his teasing streak with a vengeance, just like Anko.
Kanichi and the other gathered students simply looked on with dropped jaws as the blond effectively trapped the Meat Master in her own game and was now playing with her like a cat with a yarn. The president of the Bowl Club couldn't help but be in awe of the blond's perverted prowess and insane confidence.
He truly was in the presence of a master!
"I-its settled then, we'll have a F-food war tomorrow. If I w-win, you will leave the academy. Now let m-me go!" Ikumi stated through gritted teeth, cheeks burning from embarrassment. She could every single twitch of his muscles underneath his T-shirt. His scent was driving her crazy!
"If I win, you will join my club. I will let you go… if you kiss me." Haru replied in a deep, throaty tone, sensually trialing his finger over her exposed collar bone and neck, while she tried to hold back her moans.
"W-what? I-I am not d-doing that!" she stuttered meekly. What the hell was this guy doing?
"Just one scorching, sweltering, soul-searing kiss to the lips, which should involve the erotic wrestling of tongues, do that and I will let you go." the blond explained his terms in a whisper, inwardly grinning like a maniac when the girl developed a full body blush.
Not able to take it any longer, Ikumi gathered all her strength and tried to shove the blond off of her body, but it failed spectacularly. The blond didn't even budge an inch. The only thing it did was confirm her dirty thoughts that his chest and abs were like molded steel. Not a pleasant discovery considering her current condition!
Seeing her first attempt fail, she did the next best thing to escape this hormonal boy before she did something she would regret later. Lowering her head, Ikumi sneaked under his hand and bolted for the door, not even waiting for her associates to catch up. "I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS, YOU PIECE OF CRAP!"
"In case you don't know, I can see your rear cheeks rippling like crazy under that short skirt!" Haru called out after her running form with a wide grin, immensely enjoying the show as she cursed and threw death threats at him before disappearing into the distance.
"So, do you have any idea what you are gonna do now?" Kanichi asked curiously, eyeing the nonchalant blond as he whistled merrily.
"Yeah, I am gonna go and put the moves on some babes!" Haru replied sagely, nodding his head in confirmation. Yes, that was the only goal worth pursuing, besides searching for the countless mysteries of ramen.
"BUT YOU JUST CHALLENGED MEAT MEAT TO A FOOD WAR?" the president shouted in frustration. What kind of moron did he let have a Food War in his place? This was bad and getting worse!
"Sure did. I gotta admit they don't call her Meat Meat for nothing. She sure has some meat on her!" the perverted Shinobi snickered, rubbing his hands like a mad scientist as he thought of all the possibilities of having Ikumi work with him.
"We are doomed!" Kanichi muttered in depression.