Part I:
Third period mathematics.
Classroom 3-B.
Caelan Lucifuge stood at the board writing a differential equation that had already caused two students to quietly put their heads down in despair and one to actually raise their hand and ask if this was going to be on the exam in a tone that suggested they were hoping the answer was no.
"Everything is on the exam," Caelan said without turning around.
Collective suffering.
He finished the equation, turned, surveyed the class.
Rias Gremory in the third row was paying attention — she always paid attention in his class specifically, a habit that had started as political and become genuine somewhere around week three.
Akeno Himejima beside her was taking notes with one hand and apparently texting someone under the desk with the other in a way she considered subtle and was not.
Issei Hyoudou in the back row had the expression of a man watching a foreign language film without subtitles. Engaged but lost.
Asia Argento was writing everything down including things that didn't need to be written down, her notes probably the most comprehensive document in existence.
Koneko Toujou was eating a cookie. She had been eating cookies since the start of class. Caelan had not addressed this because Koneko's test scores were perfect and she could eat whatever she wanted.
Xenovia Quarta was staring at the equation with the focused intensity of someone who had fought demons with a holy sword and was now facing a new and more confusing enemy.
And in the second row, Sona Sitri sat with her Student Council peerage in the seats around her, because this was a shared class period, taking notes with the mechanical precision of someone for whom academic excellence was a moral position.
Normal day.
Completely normal.
Then Issei raised his hand.
"Yes," Caelan said.
"Sensei. Hypothetically."
"I distrust that word coming from you."
"Hypothetically," Issei continued undeterred, "if someone were to organize a football match—"
"No."
"Between two teams—"
"Absolutely not."
"On the school grounds—"
"I said no."
"With supernatural beings—"
"ISSEI."
"—it would be really fun and also Rias-buchou and Sona-kaichou have been arguing about whose peerage is better for literally three weeks and this would settle it."
The class went very quiet.
Rias and Sona both turned to look at Issei.
Then at each other.
Something happened between them — the particular electricity of two competitive people being handed an excuse they'd been waiting for.
"That's actually not the worst idea you've ever had," Sona said.
Rias sat up straighter. "Eleven versus eleven."
"Standard rules. Supernatural abilities permitted within reason."
"Define within reason."
"No destroying the pitch. No teleporting the ball."
"Fine. No time stopping either."
"Agreed. Gasper sits out."
"THANK GOODNESS," Gasper said from somewhere near the back.
Caelan looked at the ceiling.
"This is happening isn't it," he said.
"Yes," the entire class said simultaneously.
Part II:
They used the gymnasium.
Both Kings stood on opposite sides while their peerages assembled behind them with varying degrees of enthusiasm.
Rias looked at her available players with the assessment of someone who had run Rating Games and knew her pieces.
"Akeno. Koneko. Kiba. Xenovia. Asia. Issei. Ravel. Rossweisse." She counted. "That's eight. I need eleven."
"Irina!" Issei suggested immediately.
"She's an angel—"
"She played football in middle school! She told me!"
"Fine. Irina." Rias pulled out her phone. "And Gasper—"
"I SAID THANK GOODNESS—"
"You're playing, Gasper."
"But—"
"You'll be fine. That's ten." She looked around. "I need one more."
Every head in the gymnasium turned to look at the same person.
Caelan, who was standing near the door with his arms crossed and his expression firmly set to absolutely not.
"No," he said.
"Sensei—"
"I'm commentating."
"You can't commentate AND play—"
"Correct. I'm commentating. Find someone else."
"There IS no one else!"
"There are thousands of beings in the Underworld—"
"We need someone NOW and you're RIGHT HERE."
"I'm a teacher. It would be inappropriate for me to—"
"PAPA!" Kino's voice from the doorway. She was in her cheerleading outfit — which had been assembled in approximately twenty minutes by Ravel who had apparently prepared for this contingency. White and crimson. Very small. Pompoms. "PAPA YOU HAVE TO PLAY!"
"I'm commentating."
"PLEASE!"
"Absolutely—"
She deployed the eyes.
The full glacial blue maximum hope expression.
He looked at the ceiling.
"I'm commentating," he said firmly.
"YAY! He said yes!" Kino announced.
"That's not what I—"
Rias had already written his name on the team sheet.
On Sona's side, the Student Council peerage assembled with military precision:
Tsubaki. Saji. Eight other Student Council members whose names Caelan had learned and immediately filed under people who were Sona's problem not his.
"I need one more," Sona said, looking at her roster.
The gymnasium doors opened.
Lucien Gremory walked in with the casual confidence of someone who had won a major tournament recently and was feeling good about it.
"I heard there's a match," he said.
"ABSOLUTELY NOT," Rias said.
"Guest player," Sona said immediately. "You're on my team."
"SONA!"
"He's available. I need eleven players. This is mathematics."
"He's MY—he's a GREMORY—"
"He's wearing silver today so technically he's a Lucifuge," Sona said, pointing at Lucien's jacket.
"That's not how—"
"Team Sona," Lucien said, walking to stand behind Sona. He looked at Rias with the infuriating calm of an older sibling. "Don't worry. I'll go easy on you."
"YOU WILL NOT BECAUSE YOU WILL LOSE."
"Wonderful," Caelan said. "I'm commentating. Where's the commentary box."
"We don't have a commentary box," Kiba said.
"Then someone build one."
Azazel appeared from nowhere. "I'll help. Also I'm co-commentating."
"Nobody asked you."
"Nobody needs to ask me things. It's one of the perks of being Governor-General." He produced a folding chair from somewhere. "I brought snacks."
Part III:
Someone had decided both teams needed proper uniforms.
That someone was Ravel, and she had made this decision with the particular enthusiasm of a person who had a vision and the resources to execute it.
Team Rias wore crimson.
Short shorts. Very short. White shirts with the Gremory crest. Knee high socks.
The shorts were specifically very short because Ravel had said "athletic performance requires freedom of movement" with a completely straight face and nobody had successfully argued against it.
Team Sona wore blue.
Also short shorts. Also white shirts. Also knee high socks.
Because Sona, having seen the Team Rias uniforms, had made a strategic decision to not be outdone in any dimension of this competition.
The teams assembled on the pitch outside the school building.
Azazel looked at both teams.
Then at Caelan in the commentary box.
"Your readers are going to love this," he said.
"I don't have readers," Caelan said.
"Figure of speech."
Kino was on the sideline with her pompoms, wearing her little cheerleader outfit, vibrating with excitement.
Kunou had appeared via a communication talisman projection — a small glowing fox-girl hovering near Kino's shoulder watching the proceedings with great interest from Kyoto.
"What's happening?" Kunou asked.
"FOOTBALL!" Kino shouted.
"What's football?"
"I'll explain later! It's going to be AMAZING!"
Irina arrived at a run, slightly out of breath, still pulling her hair into a ponytail.
"AM I LATE? ISSEI SAID THERE WAS A MATCH—" She stopped. Looked at the uniforms. Looked down at hers. "Why are the shorts so—"
"Athletic performance," Ravel said.
"These are barely—"
"Freedom of movement."
"My underwear is—"
"Standard athletic concern. You'll be fine." Ravel handed her a shirt. "You're left midfielder."
Irina opened her mouth.
Closed it.
Put on the shirt.
"For the record," she said to no one in particular, "I'm an angel. I have dignity."
"You have a left midfield position," Ravel said. "Focus."
Part IV:
Caelan settled into the commentary box.
Which was a table, two chairs, and a magical amplification array that Azazel had assembled in fifteen minutes.
"Testing," Azazel said into the array. His voice boomed across the pitch. "Testing. Yes. Excellent. Attention everyone. Welcome to the First Annual Kuoh Academy Supernatural Football Catastrophe—"
"Match," Caelan said.
"—Catastrophe. Commentary provided by myself, Azazel, Governor-General of the Grigori and genuinely excellent sportscaster—"
"You've never sportscasted anything."
"—and my colleague, Lord Caelan Lucifuge, the Ice King, who is here under duress."
"I'm here voluntarily."
"Your eye twitched."
"IT DOES NOT—"
"DOES IT TWITCH?!" Kino shouted from the sideline.
"YES!" Azazel confirmed.
"I KNEW IT!"
Caelan pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Both teams on the pitch," he said into the array. "Team Rias in crimson. Team Sona in blue. Standard rules apply. Supernatural abilities permitted within the agreed parameters." He looked at both captains. "Rias. Sona. Shake hands."
Both Kings approached the center circle.
Shook hands.
Both smiling.
Neither smile reached their eyes.
"This is going to be beautiful," Azazel said quietly.
"This is going to be a disaster," Caelan replied.
"Same thing."
"Ready?" Caelan said into the array.
"READY!" Kino screamed from the sideline, pompoms going.
"Kickoff in three. Two. One."
Part V:
Issei kicked off.
The ball went to Kiba who moved with Knight-enhanced speed that technically wasn't supernatural ability use but was definitely enhanced reflexes and nobody called it.
Sona intercepted.
Passed to Saji.
Saji ran.
Koneko materialized in his path.
Not supernaturally. She just walked there at normal speed because she calculated the trajectory and his speed and arrived first.
Saji ran directly into her.
Saji bounced off.
Koneko didn't move.
"Are you okay?" Asia called from her position.
"I'm fine," Saji said from the ground.
"You ran into Koneko," Issei called. "Nobody's fine after that."
"FOCUS!" Sona shouted.
Team Sona regrouped. The ball went wide to a Student Council member on the right wing — a tall girl named Reya who had apparently been a track athlete before joining the supernatural world and was distressingly fast.
She crossed it.
Lucien met it in the air.
His header was perfect — controlled, directed, exactly where he wanted it.
Rossweisse, playing goalkeeper, dove.
Saved it.
Barely.
Her shorts rode up during the dive.
"And Rossweisse makes a spectacular save!" Azazel announced. "Showing tremendous athletic dedication and also—"
"Don't," Caelan said.
"I was going to say commitment."
"You weren't."
"I wasn't." Azazel grinned. "Blue lace, for the record."
"AZAZEL."
"I'm a commentator. Details matter."
From the sideline, Kino waved her pompoms. "YAAAAY ROSSWEISSE-ONEE-CHAN!"
Rossweisse, getting up and adjusting her shorts, waved back.
Then immediately tripped over the goalpost.
"I'M FINE!" she announced.
Part VI:
Twelve minutes in.
Team Rias had possession.
Xenovia was on the left wing with the ball and the particular expression of someone who approached everything — exorcism, combat, theology, and apparently football — with the same absolute commitment.
She ran.
She was fast. Not Kiba-fast, but legitimately fast.
A Student Council defender came at her from the right.
Xenovia did not slow down.
The defender, sensibly, got out of the way.
Xenovia kept running.
She reached the edge of the penalty area.
Drew back her foot.
Shot.
The shot was extraordinary. Genuinely, objectively extraordinary — the kind of kick that happened when someone who had trained their entire body to handle divine weapons applied that training to a football.
The ball hit the crossbar.
Ricocheted straight up.
Came back down.
Hit Xenovia on the head.
She sat down.
"I'm fine," she said.
Her shorts had experienced some structural disagreement with physics during this sequence of events.
"White," Azazel said.
"AZAZEL!" Several people shouted simultaneously.
"WHAT? I'm COMMENTATING!"
"You're LEERING!" Irina shouted.
"It's DETAILED SPORTS REPORTING!"
Xenovia stood up, adjusted her uniform with the dignity of a former church exorcist, and looked at Caelan in the commentary box.
"Was that a good shot?" she asked seriously.
"Technically yes," he said. "Practically no."
"I'll work on the angle."
"Please do."
Part VII:
Nobody had expected Asia to be good at football.
Asia had not expected Asia to be good at football.
But somewhere around the twenty-minute mark it became clear that Asia Argento — former nun, current devil, full-time healer — was absolutely everywhere.
Not fast. Not strong. Just perpetually in exactly the right position.
She intercepted three passes in ten minutes by simply being where the ball was going to be rather than where it currently was.
"How are you DOING that?" Saji demanded.
"I'm not sure!" Asia admitted apologetically. "I'm sorry! Is it bothering you?"
"YES!"
"Oh no! Should I stop?"
"You CAN'T just STOP—"
"I could try to be less—"
"ASIA!" Rias called. "STOP APOLOGIZING AND PASS!"
Asia passed.
To Issei.
Who was open.
Who had a clear shot.
Who looked at the goal.
Looked at the goalkeeper.
The goalkeeper was Tsubaki Shinra, the Student Council Queen, who was tall and composed and had positioned herself with tactical perfection.
She was also wearing the blue uniform shorts.
Which were, as established, very short.
Issei's brain did what Issei's brain did.
"SHOOT!" the entire Team Rias bench screamed.
"RIGHT! SORRY! BOOST—"
"NO SACRED GEARS!" Caelan's voice from the commentary box.
"I WASN'T GOING TO—"
He shot.
Wide left.
By approximately four meters.
"ISSEI!" Rias's voice.
"I GOT DISTRACTED!"
"BY WHAT?!"
Issei pointed at Tsubaki's general direction and then immediately reconsidered this decision as Tsubaki's expression shifted to something dangerous.
"Nothing," he said. "I got distracted by nothing."
"USELESS," Koneko said.
"I'M NOT USELESS I'M JUST—"
"Useless," Koneko confirmed.
Part VIII:
Halftime. Zero zero.
Both teams gathered on their respective sides of the pitch.
Kino had spent the first half developing her cheerleading routine with the serious dedication of someone who considered this a professional endeavor.
The routine involved:
Her pompoms. Several ice sculptures she had constructed along the sideline as "team spirit decoration." A chant she had invented herself. And Hoarfrost, who had been recruited as what she called the "team mascot" and was sitting at the end of the sideline looking enormous and mildly confused about his role.
"TEAM RIAS! TEAM RIAS! COLD AS ICE AND TWICE AS NICE! PAPA TAUGHT ME THAT ONE!"
"I did not teach you that," Caelan said into the array.
"YOU SAID COLD AS ICE IS A COMPLIMENT!"
"In a completely different context—"
"TEAM RIAS! TEAM RIAS!"
Kunou's projection hovered beside her. "Should I cheer too?"
"YES! Say: KONEKO-CHAN IS THE BEST!"
"KONEKO-CHAN IS THE BEST!" Kunou's small voice echoed.
Koneko, eating a cookie during the halftime break, looked at the projection. "Thank you."
"You're welcome!" Kunou beamed.
On the Team Sona side, halftime was tactical.
Sona had produced an actual whiteboard from somewhere and was diagramming formations with the intensity of someone planning a military campaign.
Lucien watched this.
"You know it's a friendly match," he said.
"There's no such thing as a friendly match," Sona replied without looking up. "There's winning and there's learning from losing."
"Which are you planning on?"
She looked at him.
"Winning."
He smiled. "Good. Then here's what I'm thinking for the second half—"
They bent over the whiteboard together.
Across the pitch, Rias watched this with narrowed eyes.
"They're strategizing," she told her team.
"So should we," Ravel said, producing her own clipboard.
"Since when do you have—"
"I always have a clipboard."
"Right." Rias turned to her team. "Okay. Issei."
"Yes!"
"Stop looking at the opposing team's uniforms."
"I wasn't—"
"Your eye twitches when you lie too," Koneko said.
"DOES EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT THE EYE THING?!"
"Yes," everyone said.
Azazel leaned over to Caelan during the halftime break. "This is the most entertaining thing I've attended in three centuries."
"It's going to get worse in the second half," Caelan predicted.
"Is that a threat or a promise?"
"An observation."
"I love your observations." Azazel produced a meat bun from somewhere. "Snack?"
"No."
"Your loss." He ate it contentedly. "How do you think it ends?"
Caelan reviewed both teams. The tactical diagrams happening on both sides. The particular fire in both captains' eyes.
"Badly," he said.
"Wonderfully," Azazel corrected.
Part IX:
Second half kickoff.
Team Sona came out different.
Whatever Sona and Lucien had diagrammed at halftime, it was working — Team Sona moved with suddenly coherent tactical structure, players covering space, the ball moving in short precise passes that ate up ground without giving Team Rias time to react.
"They changed formation," Ravel said from the bench, scribbling on her clipboard.
"I see that," Rias said, tracking the ball.
"Lucien's playing deeper. He's directing rather than scoring."
"Of course he is." Rias's jaw tightened. "He's a better director than a striker."
"He's better than most people at most things," Ravel said diplomatically.
"Ravel."
"Sorry."
Team Sona's right winger — the fast track girl, Reya — got the ball again and this time she had a clearer lane and she took it.
She crossed.
Lucien met it.
This time Rossweisse was positioned better and she went for the ball—
Lucien went for the ball—
They collided.
Both went down.
The ball bounced harmlessly wide.
There was a moment.
Then both of them started laughing simultaneously, which defused what could have been an argument.
"Nice dive," Lucien said.
"Nice header," Rossweisse replied. "If it had been on target."
"I was a little high."
"A little."
They helped each other up.
And Rossweisse's shorts had, during the collision, experienced the same relationship with physics that Xenovia's had earlier.
"Black," Azazel announced.
"AZAZEL!" Rossweisse went bright red.
"Detailed sports reporting!"
"I WILL LAUNCH A MAGICAL BARRIER INTO YOUR FACE—"
"Rossweisse," Caelan said into the array.
"YES?"
"Goal kick."
She blinked. Composed herself. Took the goal kick.
"She's very professional," Azazel observed.
"She is. You're not."
"I'm colorful. It's my brand."
Part X:
Akeno Himejima had been quiet for most of the match.
This was suspicious.
Akeno being quiet was the supernatural equivalent of a volcano being still — not absence of activity, just accumulation.
She was playing right wing for Team Rias and she had been doing her job competently and without drama for sixty minutes.
Then Saji decided to tackle her.
Not aggressively. Just a standard sliding tackle for the ball.
He got the ball.
He also got a face full of Akeno's position because she had been running and he had slid and the physics of the situation meant that when he came up from the slide his face was approximately at her thigh level and she was standing over him and her shorts were Team Rias crimson and very short and—
Saji turned the color of a stop sign.
Akeno looked down at him.
Smiled.
That smile.
"Ara ara~" she said. "That was quite a tackle."
"I—I didn't mean to—the ball—I was just—"
"It's fine." She stepped over him neatly. "Good tackle."
Saji remained on the ground for approximately ten seconds longer than the situation required.
"GET UP SAJI!" Sona shouted.
He got up.
Walked directly into a goalpost.
"I'M FINE," he announced.
"You walked into the goalpost," Sona said.
"I KNOW WHERE I WALKED."
From the commentary box, Azazel was crying with laughter.
Caelan waited until the laughter subsided.
"Team Sona possession," he said into the array. "Play continues."
Part XI:
Seventy-third minute.
Scoreline still zero zero.
Both teams were starting to show genuine athletic effort — less supernatural posturing, more actual running, because it turned out that even supernatural beings got tired eventually when they were committed to not using their powers.
Issei had the ball on the left wing.
He was running.
Ahead of him was the Team Sona penalty area and a defender and the goal and Tsubaki in goal and a genuine opportunity.
He did not look at the uniform.
He focused.
"ISSEI!" Rias's voice. "CROSS!"
He looked right.
Xenovia was making a run.
He crossed it.
The cross was actually good — properly weighted, hitting Xenovia in her stride.
Xenovia connected.
First time.
No hesitation.
No hitting herself in the head with it.
Just a clean, controlled strike that went exactly where she aimed it — low, to the right corner, past Tsubaki's dive.
The ball hit the back of the net.
Team Rias exploded.
Rias threw her arms up.
Akeno clapped.
Koneko ate a cookie.
Asia was crying happy tears.
Ravel was already documenting the goal for the match report.
Irina did a complete somersault and landed it perfectly because she was Irina.
And Issei picked Xenovia up and spun her around because he was Issei and this was the kind of moment where Issei did that.
"PUT ME DOWN," Xenovia said.
"WE SCORED! WE SCORED!"
"I SCORED! PUT ME DOWN!"
He put her down.
Her feet hit the ground.
Her shorts had ridden up during the spinning.
She adjusted them with complete composure.
"Good cross," she told Issei.
"Good shot," he told her.
They nodded at each other with the camaraderie of people who had just done something together that worked.
From the commentary box:
"GOAL!" Azazel announced. "Team Rias! Scorer, Xenovia Quarta! Assisted by Hyoudou Issei who apparently CAN focus when required! Current score — one nil to Team Rias!"
From the sideline:
"PAPA PAPA THEY SCORED!" Kino was jumping with her pompoms. "TEAM RIAS SCORED!"
"I heard," Caelan said into the array.
"ARE YOU EXCITED?!"
"I'm professionally neutral."
"YOUR EYE—"
"I'M PROFESSIONALLY NEUTRAL, KINO."
Part XII:
Eighty-first minute.
Team Sona pushed forward.
Lucien had moved from deep-lying director to forward — the team needed a goal and he was the person most likely to get one and everyone knew it including Rias who started tracking him personally.
The ball found him on the edge of the box.
He turned.
Shot.
Rossweisse saved it — genuinely impressive save, diving full length.
The rebound fell to a Student Council midfielder.
Who shot.
Rossweisse was still on the ground from the first save.
It went in.
Team Sona erupted.
Sona did not jump up and down. She did something more dangerous — she smiled with quiet satisfaction.
Lucien pointed at the scorer. "Good follow-up."
"Thank you, Lord Gremory."
"Lucien. We're on the same team."
"Right. Lucien."
From the commentary box:
"Equalizer! Team Sona! Scorer — student council midfielder whose name I have written here somewhere—" Azazel checked his notes. "Momo Hanakai! Goal! One all!"
Caelan looked at the scoreline.
Looked at the time.
Nine minutes remaining.
"This is going to extra time isn't it," he said.
"Probably," Azazel agreed.
They looked at both teams.
Both captains with the exact same expression — the expression of people who were not losing this.
"Or," Azazel said, "it's going to finish in the most chaotic way possible."
"Those aren't mutually exclusive."
"Fair."
Part XIII:
Eight minutes remaining.
Both teams were running on determination rather than energy.
Issei, breathing hard, had the ball in midfield.
He looked up.
The situation was:
Kiba making a run on the right. Xenovia pushing forward on the left. Asia somehow in a central position. Akeno wide right.
And Rias making a run through the middle.
The captain herself.
He passed to Rias.
She received it.
One touch to control.
She looked at the goal.
Sona appeared beside her — the opposing captain, tracking her personally now.
"Don't," Sona said.
"Watch me," Rias replied.
She shot.
Tsubaki saved it.
Somehow.
Rias stared.
"How," she said.
"I've been watching your shooting pattern all match," Tsubaki said simply. "You always go near post."
"I do NOT always—"
"Near post. Every time."
Rias looked at the near post.
Looked at Tsubaki.
"Next time I'm going far post," she said.
"I know," Tsubaki replied. "I'll be there."
They looked at each other.
The genuine, specific respect of two very competitive people recognizing each other.
"You're very good," Rias said.
"You're better than your record suggests," Tsubaki replied.
Goal kick.
Five minutes remaining.
Part XIV:
Two minutes remaining. One all.
Both teams were genuinely exhausted in a way that supernatural beings rarely got exhausted, which meant everyone had committed completely to this and nobody had held back.
The ball was at Sona's feet in her own half.
She looked up.
Lucien making a run. Clear lane. Real chance.
She passed.
He received it.
He was through. Clear through. Just him and Rossweisse.
The crowd — which had grown throughout the match to include what appeared to be most of the school's student body plus several faculty members plus Azazel's entire communications staff who had apparently been watching through the magical array — went quiet.
Rossweisse came off her line.
Lucien drew back his foot.
And Kino, from the sideline, did what Kino did.
She sneezed.
The sneeze activated her ice magic.
A small — very small — patch of ice appeared on the pitch directly in front of Lucien's plant foot.
His foot hit the ice.
He slipped.
His shot went approximately fifteen feet over the crossbar.
"SORRY!" Kino shouted. "SORRY SORRY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!"
Lucien sat on the pitch.
Looked at the sky.
Started laughing.
"OF COURSE," he said to the sky. "Of course there's a magical ice child on the sideline."
"I'M SO SORRY UNCLE LUCIEN!"
He waved at her. Still laughing.
From the commentary box, Caelan looked at his daughter.
"Kino," he said into the array.
"IT WAS AN ACCIDENT PAPA!"
"I know."
"Are you mad?"
He paused.
"Play on," he said into the array.
Rias had the ball.
Ninety seconds.
She ran.
Everything she had.
She crossed into the box.
Issei met it.
He was unmarked.
He had a clear header.
He looked at the goal.
Did not look at the uniforms.
Headed it.
It went wide right.
BY ONE INCH.
"ISSEI!" every member of Team Rias screamed.
"I TRIED! I REALLY TRIED!"
The whistle blew.
Full time. One one.
Part XV:
Both teams collapsed on the pitch.
Not dramatically. Just the specific collapse of people who had given everything and ended up exactly where they started.
Rias lay on her back looking at the sky.
Sona sat beside her, also looking at the sky.
"Draw," Sona said.
"Draw," Rias agreed.
"Rematch?"
"Obviously."
They looked at each other.
And smiled.
Actual smiles. The kind that acknowledged that this had been genuinely fun without either of them losing the will to win next time.
Issei was also on his back.
Koneko sat beside him eating a cookie.
"You almost had it," she said.
"I KNOW."
"Almost."
"I KNOW, KONEKO."
"If you hadn't looked at Tsubaki's uniform during the first half—"
"I DIDN'T—"
"Your eye—"
"I HATE THE EYE THING!"
Xenovia sat very straight despite being exhausted because Xenovia did not slouch.
Irina flopped down beside her with zero dignity.
"That was AMAZING!" Irina announced. "We should do this every week!"
"We absolutely should not," Xenovia said.
"We absolutely should!"
"It was extremely undignified."
"It was extremely FUN!"
"Same thing to you."
"YES!"
Kino ran onto the pitch.
She went to Lucien first because she felt guilty about the ice incident.
"Uncle Lucien I'm really sorry—"
"It's fine, Kino." He ruffled her hair. "Good sneezing."
"It was an ACCIDENT—"
"The best things usually are." He picked her up. "Team Sona would have won if not for the ice. For what it's worth."
"Papa says you can't know what would have happened only what did."
"Your papa is irritatingly wise."
"I KNOW RIGHT?"
Caelan descended from the commentary box.
Azazel was beside him.
"Outstanding event," Azazel said. "I'm putting in a formal request to make this a regular occurrence."
"It was a disaster."
"Outstanding disaster. Different category."
Caelan looked at the pitch.
At his student's lying on the grass.
At Sona and Rias having a genuine conversation while both staring at the sky.
At Kino in Lucien's arms telling him something with great enthusiasm.
At Rossweisse trying to explain to a Student Council member that the save had been intentional and the lying on the ground after had been a tactical choice.
At Issei being lectured by approximately everyone simultaneously.
At Koneko eating her cookie in the chaos.
At Akeno making tea on the sideline because apparently she had brought a portable tea set to a football match.
"It was fine," he said.
"High praise from you," Azazel said.
"Don't push it."
Kino appeared and grabbed his hand.
"PAPA! Can we do this again?"
"No."
"PLEASE?"
"Ask me next week."
"THAT MEANS YES!"
"It means ask me next week."
"SAME THING!"
He looked down at her.
At the pompoms she was still holding.
At the ice crystals she'd accidentally put on Lucien's jacket during the hug that Lucien hadn't noticed yet.
"You sneezed on the pitch," he said.
"It was an ACCIDENT!"
"I know."
"Are you SURE you're not mad?"
He looked at the one-one scoreline still glowing in the magical display.
At Team Sona celebrating a draw like a win.
At Team Rias celebrating a draw like a win.
At the general beautiful chaos of beings who had decided something stupid was worth doing and had been completely right.
"No," he said. "I'm not mad."
She beamed.
Grabbed both his hands and swung them.
"NEXT TIME TEAM RIAS WILL WIN!"
"Next time is not confirmed—"
"NEXT TIME TEAM RIAS WILL WIN, PAPA!"
"...We'll see."
Final score: Team Rias 1 — 1 Team Sona
Match report by Ravel Phenex: Seven pages. Three appendices. Available upon request.
Azazel's commentary archive: Classified.
Kino's cheerleading routine: Reviewed as "chaotic but enthusiastic" by all parties.
Issei's excuse for the missed header: Ongoing.
END OF SIDE STORY: THE GREAT KUOH ACADEMY SUPERNATURAL FOOTBALL DISASTER