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Hurt.
Betrayal.
Fear.
Hestia felt troubled at that last one. Why would Loki, a God, feel afraid?
"Loki. What's wrong?"
She was missing something here. She had a feeling this went far beyond Kusanagi Godou.
"Hestia," Loki said very seriously. "What are monsters?"
She was taken aback by the question momentarily. Had everyone been mistaken? Was Kusanagi Godou not the cause of Loki's woes?
"What do you mean, what are monsters?" she asked back. "They're the evil creatures that spawn in the Dungeon."
Loki seemed completely unsatisfied with the answer. "What does that even mean? Is everything that spawns in the Dungeon a monster then? Are they all evil? Where do they come from, and how come we Gods can't control them?"
Hestia blinked. An...an existential crisis? While she was happy that Loki was finally starting to talk more, she had no idea how to deal with this. Could Gods even have existential crises?
"Um...I don't know. Isn't that why we have adventurers go into the Dungeon in the first place? To find out?" Loki had been here for at least decade, and she was only asking this now?
"I don't want to wait to find out. I need to know now," the redhead whined.
"Is this about Kusana-" a glare from Loki caused Hestia to stop mid-sentence. "Is this about him?" she corrected herself.
"Maybe," Loki said, her eyes dodging away.
Hestia rolled her eyes. "So do you like him or not?!" she demanded. "Otherwise, me telling you that I like Bell would have been pointless!"
"I DON'T KNOW!" Loki exclaimed. "I don't know..." she said again, softly this time. "And it's pissing the hell out of me." She picked up a pillow and threw it at the wall. "Love is stupid," she grumbled.
"No, it's not."
Loki looked up, slightly surprised. To be honest, even Hestia hadn't expected her own response to be so automatic and determined.
"Love is wonderful," she continued. "It gives us joy. It gives us purpose. It gives color to what would have been otherwise a painfully mundane world. But where there is light, there is darkness. It hurts us. It breaks us. It can drive people to do despicable things."
She paused. Why was she giving a lecture about love to Loki?
But she kept talking anyway. "Love builds. It also destroys. We don't get to choose which side the coin lands. We can only accept it. No matter how you feel about it, love will always be there. So it's up to you to decide whether you want to weather through the storm to see the rainbow, or shut yourself from the world and see nothing at all."
Loki gulped. She seemed to be contemplating.
Hestia certainly hoped she was, especially after such a long speech. Who would've ever guessed that she'd be preaching about love to Loki of all people one day?
"If Bell Cranel stabbed you, would you still love him?"
What?
The face on Loki's face was completely serious, and Hestia had to let that question fully sink in.
"I love Bell because he has the kindest, purest soul I've ever seen. He won't do such a thing. But loving someone also means being prepared to be hurt. But the fear of being hurt isn't a sign that you should stop loving them. Everyday, I'm afraid that something happens to Bell in the Dungeon, that it might be my last day seeing him. Or maybe he's decided to join another Familia. Bell Cranel can hurt me in so many ways even if he doesn't mean to. But that's normal. That vulnerability that you're feeling? That's already love. Loki, you're in love with Kusanagi Godou, even if you don't want to admit it."
Loki shook her head. "No. I can't. I can't love Kusanagi Godou. It's not right."
Hestia smiled. Loki had finally said his name. "Why not? Because it'd mean exposing yourself? Because it'd mean giving him the opportunity to hurt you? Because it'd mean becoming weak?"
Loki's widening eyes told Hestia she'd hit the bulls-eye. Very slowly, the redhead nodded.
"Congratulations, Loki." Hestia smiled. "You've discovered the concept of mortality. That fear you're experiencing? It's something our adventurers go through every time they enter the Dungeon. And yet, they still do. Tirelessly. Bravely. Willingly. Do you want to know why?"
Hestia didn't give Loki time to respond.
"Because that's what it means to be alive. That's what it means to be strong. And that's why even though we live infinitely longer than them, the lives of mortals seem so much brighter and more exciting than ours. Their mortality motivates them, because knowing that their lives will inevitably end is what drives them to make it as much as an adventure as possible. Isn't that why we descended from the Divine Realm? To get a taste of that adventure? Loki, right now, you have the chance to experience mortal life at its fullest. And if your adventurers can do it, then so can you."
"I..." Loki stammered. "I..."
"You need to think," Hestia said. "This is your choice, after all. Don't just base it on what I say. You know what you want best. The Kusanagi Godou you know is different from the Kusanagi Godou I do."
"Wait," Loki said. "You know him?"
"Yeah." Hestia grinned. "I owe him a great deal. I offered him a place in my Familia-"
She saw Loki panic slightly.
"-but he turned me down."
Loki's sigh of relief was audible. "Stay away from him, Hestia," she warned afterwards.
Hestia furrowed her brows, slightly annoyed by Loki's rude response. "What? I already told you about Bell, didn't I? I don't like Godou that way. And if he means that much to you, then fine, you can have him. I'll stop trying to recruit him."
Loki shook her head frantically. "That's not what I meant, Hestia. This isn't about me. For your own sake, you need to stay away from Kusanagi Godou."
Hestia felt unease and concern building up within her. It didn't feel like Loki was lying."He's a good person, Loki. I'm in his debt. I can't just start ignoring him because you told me to." She grabbed the redhead's hand gently, trying to coax her. "What happened, Loki?"
Loki looked at her. The goddess of mischief pursed her lips and Hestia waited for her internal debate to come to a conclusion. She needed Loki to trust her. Obviously, there was a side to Kusanagi Godou that she wasn't aware of, but Hestia refused to believe that that was enough of a reason to start avoiding the man.
Kusanagi Godou had a kind soul.
"I...I can't say." Loki slumped her shoulders.
"Did he ask you not to tell?"
Loki shook her head. "No. But, if I say it, it means I believe him. And I don't want to do that."
Hestia arched a brow. "You telling me to stay away from him means that you already believe him."
"It's different," Loki insisted. "If you knew...you'd understand, too."
"Then help me understand. Tell me what he said. If it's as serious as you're making it sound, then you should be telling everyone."
"I...I need to think about this first. I don't even know if what he said is possible."
"And if it is?"
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Want to read more?
The next 10+ chapters are already available on my Patreon!
By joining, you'll get:
📖 Early access to future chapters
🗳️ Polls to shape the story
🎁 Exclusive content for Patrons
🔥 Bonus scenes & content you won't find anywhere else
👀 Don't fall behind—others are already ahead!
👉 patreon.com/FanfictionTakashi
(If link doesn't show, just search on Google: FanfictionTakashi Patreon)