The Asphalt Observation
After navigating out of the smog-choked, towering industrial sprawl of the Seistain hub, the scenery rapidly shifted. The dense concrete skyline faded into rolling hills, vast stretches of empty agricultural land, and quiet, dusty rural districts.
Malesh was driving the cruiser at terrifying speeds, leaning aggressively into the sharp countryside turns. Kniya sat on the back, the heavy duffel bag of spiked bats repeatedly smacking him in the back of the head every time they hit a bump.
"I literally hate this!" Kniya yelled over the roaring wind, desperately holding onto the back seat. "A massive bug just flew straight into my mouth! This is zero swag!"
"Breathe through your nose, you idiot!" Malesh yelled back, completely unbothered, enjoying the open air.
Kniya peered around Malesh's shoulder, looking down at the smooth, dark road beneath their tires. He tilted his head in genuine corporate bewilderment.
"Hey, look at this!" Kniya shouted over the engine noise, pointing at the ground. "The infrastructure development out here is actually insane! I never thought this random rural road would be made out of premium asphalt! I literally thought the outer regions just built their roads out of compressed cow shit and mud! When did the government fund this?!"
Malesh glanced back, letting out a loud, exhausted groan at Kniya's terrible memory.
"They didn't fund it, you absolute idiot!" Malesh yelled back over the roaring engine. "We built this road! Don't you remember?! Kavilson Steel's heavy transport logistics pass through this exact region every single day! We had to pave a full, metal-grade asphalt route so our logistics trucks wouldn't sink into the mud while hauling thousands of tons of steel!"
Kniya's eyes widened behind his visor as the corporate memory finally clicked into place.
"Oh, really?!" Kniya laughed obnoxiously, kicking his boots out. "Well, damn, Kavilson Steel makes some premium-level roads! Look at how smooth this shit is! We are logistical geniuses!"
The Rural Ambush
As they roared further down the private asphalt route, the landscape opened up into a massive, overgrown dirt farm. There were no corporate office buildings. There were no legal settlement tents. It was just a massive expanse of empty, dusty fields lined with thick bushes and deep mud banks.
"Well," Malesh stated flatly, slowing the motorcycle down as they surveyed the empty terrain. "We finally arrived in this town, or village, or whatever we can call this patch of dirt. But where is the…"
Suddenly, straight out of the desolate farmland directly beside the road, a guy popped his head and shoulders completely out of a deep mud hole.
It was the management secretary. His formal shirt was completely ruined, caked in wet dirt and torn at the collar. Standing waist-deep in an excavated trench, he began frantically waving both of his hands in the air like a madman to flag down the motorcycle.
"Sir! Sir, wait! Sir, stop, stop! Here I am!" the secretary shrieked at the top of his lungs.
Malesh violently slammed the heavy iron brakes, the motorcycle screeching to a halt on the edge of the asphalt. Kniya nearly flew over Malesh's shoulder from the sudden stop, the duffel bag of weapons clattering loudly against his back.
Kniya pulled his helmet off, staring down at the secretary waist-deep in the dirt.
"Oh, you are here, Secretary?" Kniya asked, raising an eyebrow in pure bewilderment. "I am kind of confused. Why are you popping out of a hole in the ground? And where is the fight going on? We drove out here for a property division, and you just popped out of a random farm waving your hands like an idiot."
The Stone Age Warfare
The management secretary wiped a thick layer of sweat and mud from his forehead, looking frantically over his shoulder toward the vast, empty field.
"Sir, the fight is actively going on right now!" the secretary panicked, gripping the edge of the dirt hole. "And let me tell you the thing, sir. This is my farm! This is exactly the place where the property division is happening! And I didn't just run out of the farm, sir, you can see there, at that farm, there are trenches! We are actively hiding in the trenches!"
Kniya and Malesh exchanged a deeply confused look. They had arrived fully expecting to sit in a rural boardroom, slam their spiked bats on a wooden table, and officially mediate a legal land dispute.
"Wait," Kniya asked, pointing a finger at the mud. "Are we going into the trenches, you mean?"
"Sir, yeah, you need to come with me right now!" the secretary pleaded, ducking slightly as if expecting an artillery shell. "Because there is an absolute, massive stone fight going on right now! We are throwing stones at each other! My brothers are on the other side, and my boys are down in the mud on this side! They are throwing stones at us, and we are throwing stones back! So yeah, you need to get down in the trenches with my boys!"
Malesh's deadpan expression completely shattered. He slowly looked at the heavy canvas duffel bag full of highly lethal, custom-machined medieval weapons and solid gold firearms, and then looked back down at the secretary hiding from pebbles.
"You are throwing... stones?" Malesh asked, entirely dumbfounded.
"Yeah!" the secretary yelled, as a stray rock suddenly flew out of the distant bushes and clattered loudly against the asphalt near the motorcycle's front tire.
Kniya completely lost it. He burst into a loud, obnoxious fit of laughter, grabbing the heavy duffel bag of spiked bats and slinging it over his shoulder with pure, unadulterated enthusiasm.
"Oh, this is absolutely magnificent!" Kniya cheered wildly, looking at Malesh. "A literal stone fight for a land deed! We came to mediate a settlement, but we ended up in the Stone Age! Come on, Malesh, grab your swag! We are going into the trenches!"
The Trench Warfare
Kniya and Malesh awkwardly slid down the slippery mud bank, landing boots-first into a deep, excavated dirt trench. The second they dropped below ground level, a heavy volley of stones, bricks, and sharp pebbles flew straight over their heads, clattering loudly against the asphalt road behind them.
The management secretary was crouched against the dirt wall, aggressively hurling fist-sized rocks over the ridge while screaming insults at his brothers on the other side of the farm.
Kniya looked around the trench, his brain completely short-circuiting. Sitting peacefully on a flattened piece of cardboard just a few feet away, entirely unbothered by the heavy barrage of flying stones, the secretary's wife was calmly chopping vegetables and preparing lunch over a small camping stove.
"What the actual fuck is going on, Malesh?!" Kniya yelled, ducking as a large brick completely shattered a nearby bush. "I thought this would be a normal legal dispute over a table! What the fuck is this?! Is there an active full-scale war going on, or is this some kind of unhinged military simulation?!"
Malesh dusted off his ruined suit jacket, entirely calm and peaceful. He didn't even flinch when a rock bounced off the dirt right next to his shoulder.
"I think so, Kniya, we don't have any other choice but to adapt to the local environment," Malesh deadpanned perfectly. "And honestly, I knew something like this was highly likely. You know what I brought in that separate, heavy bag strapped to the back of the bike?"
Kniya blinked, gripping his duffel bag of spiked bats. "What? More bats?"
"No," Malesh replied flatly. "I knew that your rusty nails and golden pistols wouldn't be powerful enough for long-range, open-field warfare."
The Ultimate Weapon
Malesh reached up and hauled a heavy, cylindrical canvas bag down into the trench. He unzipped it and began casually pulling out thick, heavy iron pipes, a massive steel baseplate, and several bags of highly combustible black powder.
Kniya tilted his head, watching Malesh rapidly assemble the iron components in the mud. "What the fuck is that? What are you trying to do with those plumbing pipes?"
"This is not plumbing, Kniya," Malesh corrected smoothly, tightening a heavy brass locking nut.
Within thirty seconds, Malesh stepped back. Sitting perfectly angled in the mud was a fully assembled, custom-machined heavy artillery mortar.
Malesh casually reached into the dirt, picked up a massive, perfectly round boulder, and rested it near the launch tube. He poured a calculated measure of gunpowder into the base chamber.
"Malesh..." Kniya whispered, his eyes widening in pure, unfiltered amazement as the realization hit him. "You built an artillery piece in the middle of a dirt farm."
"I brought two sets," Malesh added smoothly, dragging a second, identical mortar tube over to the terrified secretary. "One for us, and one for his family."
The management secretary dropped the stone he was holding, staring at the heavy military hardware with his jaw physically dropping.
"Sir..." the secretary stammered, entirely bewildered. "How... how are you guys so well prepared for this?! It is just a family property dispute!"
Malesh looked at the secretary with absolute, uncompromising deadpan authority.
"You wouldn't understand this level of corporate readiness," Malesh stated coldly. "This is our sixth property division. We know exactly what kind of things can happen. We are always ready for everything."