Xie Yu almost laughed herself into tears.
"I never knew your thinking was this… expansive."
"Do whatever you want," she said.
"You can issue an imperial decree, grant a marriage, announce it to the world. I don't care."
"I'm the crown princess now, and Shen Changyin lacks no troops. Your death means nothing to this world."
It was the first time Xie Yu had ever been grateful for her status as crown princess.
She had legitimacy. Shen Changyin had military power. Together, they could treat the empress's nonsense as background noise.
Unexpectedly, the empress leaned back leisurely against the gilded chair and smiled at her.
"Have you ever thought about why I agreed to make you crown princess?"
"Did you think I hadn't considered that this position might bring me new threats?"
She gestured to the attendant beside her to bring Xie Yu a chair.
"Sit down, child. We have a lot to talk about."
By early summer, the empress's study had already adopted cooling measures. In the center of the room stood a large bronze basin filled with chunks of white ice, covered with countless flower petals, slowly releasing cool air.
Xie Yu sat down suspiciously on the chair cushioned with bright yellow padding.
"Someone, bring her the bird's-nest filled pastry from that day, and a cup of pu'er tea."
The empress—her hair only slightly gray—softened her expression. When her usually imposing features relaxed like this, she looked unexpectedly kind. Her broad shoulders finally loosened.
She glanced at Xie Yu and slowly recalled,
"I remember you also liked iced hawthorn jelly. Have the imperial kitchen bring some."
Xie Yu's pupils contracted sharply. Her back teeth gently bit into the inside of her cheek.
She had liked iced old-style hawthorn jelly. Every summer vacation, she would beg the adults at home to buy a lot of it, cut it into strips, wrap them in plastic wrap, and store them in the refrigerator.
On hot afternoons, she would open the fridge, take out a strip, unwrap it onto a plate, and scoop it with a spoon.
The texture was jelly-like, but the surface had a chewy layer. When biting down, the first sensation was the resilient outer layer. With a bit more pressure, the teeth broke through into a sweet-sour burst that jolted the brain before the aftertaste slowly bloomed on the tongue.
Old-style hawthorn jelly really had been her favorite snack—but there were two problems.
First, as she grew older, she no longer liked it that much. Only as a child would she say something as naïve as "hawthorn jelly is the best in the world."
Second, since crossing into this world, she had never eaten hawthorn jelly even once.
She stayed cautious and said nothing. Instead, the empress smiled.
"What, you don't believe I still remember your favorite snack?"
"You've probably forgotten—when you were just born, I slept with you every day."
"Later, when you grew bigger and could eat rice, noodles, and eggs, you were always greedy. You'd eat too much and feel unwell, so I could only hold your hand and walk you around the courtyard again and again to help digestion."
"You have no idea how many mosquitoes I fed during that time."
"And there was another time—you had just learned to walk and crawl. You tried everything to climb onto a table, then fell. I rushed over to save you but could only catch your tiny body. Your head hit a toy on the ground, and you bled a lot, leaving a big scar later."
"To apply medicine, the physicians had to shave your head bald. You resisted fiercely, so I had to hold you while they worked. After that, every time you saw me, you were furious and kept spitting at me."
"I'm old now…" The empress suddenly sounded emotional.
"But back then, I wasn't young either. When I gave birth to you, I was already nearly forty. I was no longer strong or vigorous, yet you wore me out until I was half dead."
Xie Yu said nothing and lowered her eyes.
There truly was a scar on the back of her head. It belonged to this body. From her face to her height, this body was identical to her original self—only that scar was different.
She did not want to believe the empress's sentimental words, yet the scar could not be faked.
She could only suppress her impatience and wait to see what this empress intended to do next.
The pastries were served. All were freshly made. Even the hawthorn jelly had been carved into round hawthorn-shaped balls, resting quietly on plates white as jade.
The sweet-and-sour scent was so strong it could be sensed just by breathing.
"Try it," the empress said, her face full of anticipation. "See if it's still the flavor you like."
Xie Yu cautiously took a small bite of the hawthorn jelly. The rich aroma and sweet-sour taste filled her mouth.
She said nothing, chewed and swallowed, then took a sip of pu'er tea to wash away the lingering sweetness.
The empress smiled with relief.
"Good, isn't it?"
Then she sighed.
"Third child… your mother is just an ordinary old woman now. Don't demand so much of me."
Xie Yu straightened up.
"It's good. The imperial chef's skill is excellent. But I don't think I ever really got to eat this very often before."
How many times could an unfavored third princess ever eat hawthorn jelly made by an imperial chef?
"Have you ever seen your own aunts?" the empress asked.
"Have you ever met my sisters?"
No.
"That's because they died long ago. If they were reincarnated, they'd probably be about your age now."
The empress sighed again.
"You never should have chosen me to be your mother in heaven. The Xie family has fought over succession generation after generation. In every generation, half the princesses don't even survive to adulthood—they're assassinated early. The other half are luckier and only start killing each other after coming of age."
"You didn't have another mother to protect you. I was busy with state affairs day and night. I didn't dare bring you into the spotlight, and I didn't dare favor you either, for fear you'd become their target."
"I worried day and night, yet I didn't even dare look at my own daughter."
"What kind of failure of a mother must I be?"
"The day of the rebellion, when you secretly ran out of the palace, you have no idea how frightened I was."
"Later I realized—you had grown up. You were strong, capable, a formidable young woman. That's when I thought: if Shen Changyin wants to marry you, then so be it. Later, she and I would push you onto the imperial throne together."
"But I didn't expect that the child I raised so carefully would grow up and drift away from me."
"Have you already stopped recognizing me as your mother?"
She lifted her eyes to look at Xie Yu. Only then did Xie Yu notice that the empress—who always appeared so wise and mighty—had deep wrinkles at the corners of her eyes. Her gaze was cloudy and exhausted, filled with the frailty of age.
Before, she had been like a real mountain—towering and unshakable.
Now she looked like a mountain made of paper, as if Xie Yu could pierce it just by speaking.
If the real third princess were here, she would probably feel unbearably wronged. Someone had loved her all along, yet she lived as though no one ever cared.
But Xie Yu was not the real third princess.
So she only asked cautiously,
"What are you trying to say?"
The empress sighed deeply.
"Third child, your mother will not harm you. You should marry Shen Liuzhen."
Xie Yu was about to laugh, but the empress interrupted her.
"Listen to me. This has nothing to do with the scar on her face. Responsibility? That's all nonsense."
"But she is the heir to the Jiangnan naval forces."
"I granted you a marriage with Shen Changyin so you could secure the Mighty Army and the Northwest. Now, if you let your mother help you take control of the Jiangnan navy as well, your claim to the throne will be rock-solid."
"The first and second—they can't compare to you at all. Just sit peacefully on that throne. Before I die, I'll pave the entire road for you."
Xie Yu was not led astray by her logic. She replied calmly,
"Do you think everyone else is a puppet without emotions? Do you really think Shen Changyin would accept this marriage?"
The empress suddenly looked at her the way one looks at a naïve child—there was even pity in her eyes.
"These years, I truly have wronged you. I forgot to teach you certain things."
"Child, don't forget—how did your engagement to Shen Changyin come about in the first place?"
"She needed to stabilize her army and secure her position, so she sought a marriage alliance with a princess. At that time, her foundation was unstable. To firmly grasp that princess in her hands, she chose you."
"Love often makes people foolish."
"Child, have you forgotten your original thoughts? You didn't want to marry her. You didn't want to be used by her. You agreed on a one-month contract with her and ran away repeatedly. Did I ever send anyone to stop you?"
"Your mother also hoped you would succeed—hoped you could live the life you wanted."
"But in the end, you failed. You were willing to stay by Shen Changyin's side. Now it even seems you've developed feelings for her, and you've forgotten what she used to be like."
The empress clenched the jade ring in her hand.
"I want you to always remember—Shen Changyin is a monster driven by power."
"She wants to push you onto the throne. The resistance she'll face will be immense. But with the Jiangnan navy, it will be much easier for her."
"Do you believe me? In fact, she also wants you to marry Shen Liuzhen."
She had been speaking like a human just moments ago—now it had turned absurd again.
Xie Yu mocked her.
"Looks like you've already forgotten the dozens of drawn blades in the Hall of Diligent Governance. That was less than an hour ago."
The empress sneered.
"Those blades? That was just her negotiating. Asking her to divorce you and abandon all her previous investments—of course that's impossible."
"But if Shen Liuzhen only becomes a consort after you ascend the throne, while the position of empress remains hers—then that's a different matter."
She seemed to remember something and urgently instructed her,
"Remember this as well. Even within your own faction, there will be different camps and power bases fighting and ranking each other. You must balance them carefully and ensure their internal struggles don't interfere with major affairs."
"Look—did you know the first and second have been fighting for over five years? I've often punished both sides equally, never letting them go too far or affect core state matters."
She wanted to continue but felt time was short.
"Schemes of the heart… I have so much I want to teach you. I only hope heaven is kind and gives me enough time to teach you everything."
After a brief sigh, she returned to the point.
"Today, I only want to tell you this: as long as the power is sufficient, Shen Changyin will compromise."
"Making Shen Liuzhen a secondary wife outright—she would never agree. But if Shen Liuzhen is only made crown princess's side consort, and you promise her a future division of military authority after your ascension, she can accept that."
"But it's best to report it as 'secondary wife' to Shen Changyin at the start—so she has room to bargain."
Xie Yu felt the entire world was absurd.
"In your eyes, everyone can be bargained over, isn't that right?"
The empress replied calmly,
"What? Do you think Shen Changyin isn't someone who chases power?"
"Think carefully, then answer me."
"Is your wife really a monster of power?"
Yes.
Xie Yu didn't speak, but the answer echoed endlessly in her heart.
Yes.
She knew exactly what kind of person her wife was.
—
T/N: If you're enjoying this translation, feel free to check out my Patreon. If you're unable to support financially, you can still subscribe for free and receive chapters two hours earlier, along with updates and announcements. Paid tiers offer early access and daily chapters.
Thank you so much for reading!
patreon.com/Baenz