Chapter 510: Unknown Planet
Meanwhile, the unconscious Kian seemed to be having a lucid dream. His body felt like it was drifting rapidly through an ocean of space and time.
All kinds of bizarre, kaleidoscopic scenes, some like heaven and some like hell, kept flashing before his eyes.
At last, Kian suddenly felt a sense of falling, and then his body came to rest firmly on the ground.
His state right now was something like sleep paralysis. He couldn't open his eyes, but he could hear sounds and had some sensation in his body.
He could feel that he was lying on slightly damp ground, and there was the sound of running water nearby.
He tried to move his body, but, well, sleep paralysis. You know how it is. His brain was awake, but his body wasn't fully awake yet. It would take a while, or some kind of sharp jolt, before he could come to.
Kian tried to open his eyes but couldn't, so he didn't bother trying and began sensing his surroundings with his hearing and his sense of smell.
There was a stream beside him. The breeze carried the earthy smell of mud, mixed with the scent of fresh grass.
The air was clean. It was even downright fresh, much like on Glory last time, except Glory was drier.
He didn't know where he was, but there shouldn't be any industrial pollution around here, or the air wouldn't smell of fresh grass like this.
Just then, Kian heard the noise of children, human children, speaking a language he could understand.
The children were chattering away, and they soon spotted Kian. Their voices came closer and closer.
Next, Kian felt five or six children surround him.
"Hey! Why's there a guy here with no clothes on? He's totally naked!"
"Whoa, he's so big! Is he a samurai?!"
"Don't be stupid! Samurai have swords! He doesn't have a sword!"
"Who says he doesn't have a sword? Look right here! Isn't that a sword?"
Next, Kian felt someone poke his Nightingale-kiri with a stick. The jolt snapped him straight out of his lucid dream. His eyes flew open and he sprang up off the ground.
"Holy crap, you little brats!"
The moment Kian had control of his body back and was on his feet, he quickly took in his surroundings.
He was stark naked, without a stitch of clothing. He was standing in a patch of weeds surrounded by flooded paddy fields planted with rice.
Farmers were working in the paddies, ploughing with oxen and transplanting seedlings.
The hills on both sides of the paddies were planted with trees and bamboo, and at their feet lay villages with cooking smoke rising from their chimneys, with lots of people coming and going.
When Kian sprang up, the little brats surrounding him froze in fear.
They ranged from seven or eight up to ten-something. Once Kian stood up, he was even more enormous, and he scared them half to death!
He looked them over carefully. None of the children showed any mutation at all. They were pure-strain humans.
He let out a breath of relief. He didn't know where Tzeentch had sent him, but it looked like a human world, and a feudal one at that.
The children wore very simple hemp clothing. Most of them weren't wearing trousers, and they had wooden clogs on their feet.
Most of them had bird's-nest hair and were covered in mud on their hands, bodies, and faces.
Kian's eyes landed on the kid holding the stick. He lunged, scooped the kid up, plopped him across his knee, and gave his backside a few good smacks.
"You little brat, you're the one who poked my Nightingale-kiri with a stick, aren't you! For Nightingale's happiness, I have to punish you!"
Smack! Smack! Smack!
A few smacks had the kid bawling. The other children saw what was happening and scattered in a flash.
Kian cursed them for having no loyalty, but he didn't chase them. Instead he set the kid in his hands down on the ground and asked:
"Listen, kiddo, where is this place? Tell your Uncle Kian, and there's a big reward in it for you!"
The kid rubbed his backside and kept bawling.
"I'm not a kiddo! I'm Yamashita-maru!"
Kian was about to ask again when the children who'd run off came running back.
The pack of feral kids had two dark lumps of something in their hands, and as they charged at Kian they yelled:
"Slay the Big Yōkai! Save Yamashita-maru!!"
The moment Kian heard that, he knew the "Big Yōkai" was him, probably because he was so tall. He was over two metres, after all.
He suddenly felt playful and wanted to see how these kids planned to slay him.
So he turned to face the charging children and put on a monstrous grin.
"Hohoho~ Slaying me won't be so easy. If you fail, you'll be eaten..."
He'd barely finished when a reeking lump of cow dung whizzed past his head.
Kian's eyes flew wide. Those dark things clutched in the little brats' grimy hands were all poop!!
"Holy crap!"
That hit Kian right where it hurt. He let out a strangled yelp, turned, and ran!
Yamashita-maru, the kid he'd just spanked, saw Kian run and shouted excitedly:
"It's true! The merchant from Kyoto was right! Cow dung can slay a Big Yōkai!"
Now Kian was tearing across the fields like a wild man, chased by a pack of chattering kids brandishing cow dung.
This truly was Kian at his weakest, because he didn't have a stitch on him.
Goddamn Tzeentch. He'd sent Kian to this unknown planet and taken every last piece of his gear.
Apart from his own body, he didn't have a single thing that wasn't part of him. He was buck naked from head to toe!!
Kian ran in front, and the kids chased behind with cow dung.
Plenty of the farmers working in the paddies saw this and stopped, stunned. Why was a pack of kids chasing a naked man?
When Kian saw he'd run into a more crowded area, he cried out that the family jewels must not be shown in public and kept charging ahead with his hands clamped over his crotch.
That slowed him down so much that he couldn't shake the kids behind him.
Just then, one of the farmers in the paddies went over to a young man and pointed at Kian running along the dike.
"Tarō, look at that man. Is he a relative of yours? How did he grow as tall as your father?"
The young man called Tarō was about fifteen or sixteen. He was transplanting rice seedlings in the paddy.
When he saw that Kian's towering frame was actually a match for his father's, he looked astonished as well. But then he shook his head.
"No. My father is the only one of his line. He has no brothers or sisters. This man can't be one of my father's kin."
Still, after a moment's thought, he ran out of the paddy and blocked the kids chasing Kian.
"Stop! A visitor is a guest. How can you treat a guest like this!"
Yamashita-maru shouted excitedly:
"He's not a guest, he's a Big Yōkai! He's so big, and he's scared of cow dung!"
Tarō said, "He's not a Big Yōkai. He's just tall, like my father is tall. Being tall doesn't make someone a Big Yōkai.
"And as for cow dung, anyone would run if you chased them with cow dung!
"That's enough. Off you go, all of you. Have you finished your chores? Careful, or your mums and dads will spank you when you get home!"
Tarō seemed to carry a lot of weight with the kids. They tossed away their cow dung, rinsed their hands in the paddy, and ran off to find fun somewhere else.
Once the kids stopped chasing him, Kian folded his hands in front of himself like a doctor about to deliver a diagnosis and turned to look at Tarō, who had rescued him.
Tarō came up to Kian and looked his powerful frame up and down, admiration showing on his face.
Then, suddenly, he bowed deeply and respectfully to Kian and gestured for him to follow.
"Sir, my father once said that a gentleman should keep his clothes and cap in order.
"You have nothing to cover yourself, so you must have met with misfortune. Please come to our home. We will do our duty as your hosts."
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