Chapter 420: Do You Believe in the Magic Monkey?
An Ork Mekboy sat at the top of the Mekboy hierarchy, the greenskin who understood the craft of machine-building deeper than any other in the tribe. Every single Mekboy poured his entire soul into the craft. Warbosses tended to love their Mekboys dearly, since these were the ones who built the war-engines capable of launching a truly unforgettable WAAAGH. Nearly every Ork warboss backed his Mekboy's war-forge with resources and protection.
Right now, deep within a sprawling maze of scrap heaps, a massive war-forge sat hidden in the gaps between the mountains of junk. An Ork Mekboy bellowed orders, driving his crew of underlings to assemble a chaotic array of scrap weaponry.
"Move it, all of ya! Ten Ka'ang tanks assembled by tomorrow morning, no excuses!"
One underling shouted back, "Boss, dis tank's missin' an engine, wot do we do?"
The Mekboy shoved through the crowd, walked up to the tank, and bellowed, "Dat's easy, just build one by hand!"
Then, at a speed that defied belief, using several mechanical arms mounted on his back in perfect coordination, he pulled parts straight out of a scrap pile and welded together an entire massive engine on the spot. With the underlings' help, the engine got shoved bodily into the tank, followed by a chorus of welding torches sealing the whole junk-built assembly, engine and hull, into one.
An Ork driver fetched a canister of booze mixed with unidentified engine oil, poured it straight into the engine, climbed inside, and tried to start it up. Nothing. Several tries, dead silence.
"Boss, engine won't start, somethin' wrong wit' it?"
The Mekboy scratched his head. "Should be fine, I reckon."
He raised a foot and stomped the rear engine cover hard, again and again.
A sudden roaring boom, and the scrap-built engine miraculously sputtered to life. The Mekboy laughed. "Told ya it'd work!"
Every underling watching gasped in awe. So that's the trick, when the engine won't start, just kick it. Lesson learned.
Just then, a little Gretchin came bouncing up to the Mekboy, holding the beacon high overhead.
"Boss, boss! I wants to trade dis for a killer-can!"
The Mekboy snatched the beacon without even looking at it first, launching straight into shrewd salesman haggling mode.
"Somethin' dis small, ya think it trades for a whole killer-can?! No way, no way! Ya gotta bring me ten more of dese before I even think about it!"
The Gretchin burst into a furious tantrum, jumping up and down. "Dis is a treasure from Grot Marjack! He said one of dese trades for a whole killer-can! You gotta give me my killer-can!"
Unable to sell the con, the Mekboy glared, raised a foot, and stomped down hard on the little Gretchin's toe.
"I says no trade, dat means no trade! Get lost, or I'll eat ya!"
The Gretchin howled in pain from the stomped toe, and terrified by the threat, shrieked and bolted straight out of the war-forge.
The Mekboy laughed and tossed the beacon carelessly into a pile of scrap parts.
The little Gretchin ran and ran, wailing the whole way, terrified of getting eaten. He kept running for what felt like forever, far from the forge, until he climbed up onto a distant scrap heap and sat down, looking back toward the war-forge in the distance, eyes burning with resentment.
"Mekboy is mean! Always pickin' on us Gretchin!"
Then he remembered their guardian spirit, Grot Marjack, who protected all Gretchin and brought happiness through the power of the magic monkey. He dropped to his knees, clasped his hands together, and prayed.
"Grot Marjack, I want my Mekboy dead."
He was still muttering his prayer when a deep, rumbling roar echoed from the sky. Startled, he snapped his eyes open and looked up.
A massive rocket streaked across the sky, a trail of fire and black smoke pouring from its tail, closing in fast. And then, right before the praying Gretchin's disbelieving eyes, the rocket dropped like a falling star, striking the war-forge with pinpoint accuracy.
BOOM!!!!
A terrible blast tore through the air, a mushroom cloud blossoming out of nowhere, the shockwave rolling out and collapsing the surrounding scrap heaps into rubble.
The praying Gretchin let out a shriek, tumbled off the heap he'd been sitting on, and vanished beneath the shifting junk.
After the world stopped shaking, an eerie calm settled back in. The Gretchin dug himself out of the debris, steadied himself, and looked toward the war-forge.
Where the massive facility once stood, churning out ten tanks and several war-machines a day, there was now only a smoking crater, a mushroom cloud still slowly dispersing overhead.
The Gretchin dropped straight back to his knees, tears pouring down his face.
"Grot Marjack! It's Grot Marjack's power! Wahahahaha, us Gretchin have our own guardian spirit now, and nobody's ever gonna push us around again!"
Around him, other Gretchin began crawling up out of the surrounding scrap, gathering around the shrieking, ecstatic one, asking in confusion, "What's Grot Marjack?"
A few days later, at the Angels' bunker behind the Astra Militarum line.
A cluster of Astartes gathered around a screen, studying the statistics displayed on it.
Captain Doron spoke, genuinely awestruck.
"Three days ago, we launched sixteen nuclear missiles and destroyed sixteen deep-territory targets inside Ork-held ground. Judging by the results, it looks like nearly every one of those sixteen sites was an active Ork war-forge. The frontline Guard reports confirm it, Ork armoured deployment has virtually vanished. We did it."
Every Astartes in the room turned as one to look at Kian, sitting off in the corner with his legs crossed, smoking.
Captain Doron asked, "Count, how did you pull this off? How did you locate the Ork war-forges with that kind of precision?"
Kian exhaled a slow stream of smoke, pulled the little plastic wand from his belt, and gave it a lazy wave in front of everyone.
"All it takes is a little bit of the magic monkey."
☆☆☆
-> 20 Advanced chapters Now Available on Patreon!!
-> https://www.pat-reon.co-m/c/Inkshaper
(Just remove the hyphen (-) to access patreon normally)
If you like this novel please consider leaving a review that's help the story a lot Thank you