THIRZEN'S / JECKO NOMAN'S POV
I don't know who my biological parents are. I was abandoned and stayed at an orphanage for 5 years, when I was adopted by a stranger couple acting as my father and mother now. I used to be weak and tearful. I used to follow orders. I used to be naive. Ever since I was a child, my father was the epitome of a demon on earth. Physical abuse, emotional abuse, mental abuse; name it, they've done it. I always wander around without letting 'em know, that's why I get reprimanded all the time. At first, I ignored it because I was young and it's natural to commit childish mistakes, but when our family started to rot, I also started to rot. They are always fighting. The noise is always at home, plus the crying of my three non-biological siblings. Because of a quarrel between the two, they got separated. The four of us split. The eldest and the second lived with their father. The third and the youngest went with my mother. And because I was the second child, I went to my father.
Father has gambling habits that have led our lives to be drowned in debt. He would often shout at us and call us names. I also tried to run away and commit to hurting myself, but he didn't care. I thought when I snapped. D*mn it! My skin can't tolerate it!' That was the first thing that came to my mind when I scratched my left wrist once. It was just a scratch, but the pain when I took a bath and cleaned it with water was troublesome. I declined to kill myself. If I can't even hurt myself, how can I die from it?
We had money when my father won the gamble. The eldest has finished school with his part-time job, so I'm the only one my father must support in my studies. I can be smart, just went crazy. I had buddies who were gamblers. Those I treated as friends were traitors. They beat me and stole all my hard-earned money. Since then, I haven't been very friendly. I'd rather be called rude or snobbish and then ignored, than be called kindhearted and then taken advantage of. My classmates are also avoiding me because someone has spread rumors about my father's illegal activities. He is drowning in his debts. He sold me to work in a factory to pay off his debts. Our small house was raided, and my father was arrested for his illegal trading and gambling. Thank heavens that thing happened.
Only my older brother is with me. My mother also abandoned both of us because she had a new family. She forgot that she still has his two sons. My older brother and I rebelled. I cut our ties with our toxic foster parents. My older brother and I have no place to go. Recently, he had a live-in partner, so I became alone again.
When I was home alone, the addicts on the streets became my family. I learned to steal and was involved in some illegal acts. Not even once I get myself into gambling after my friends deceived me, why? I don't want to be like my gambler father, who's making me sick with his way of life! My new family told me about the technique of human deception. I became someone. I forgot I had my real family. I forgot that I still had a dream.
I was always wondering why mother and father would adopt the three of us from the orphanage despite being poor, but then I found out the answer. Both are involved in trafficking. When I reach an older age, they'll use me for their illegal trading. The public social worker who is responsible for background checking the foster parents didn't do her job and let our parents do whatever they wanted.
My older brother, being the eldest, is an accomplice because he's the only real son among us. He confessed everything to me before he had his live-in partner and left us. He regretted not telling me earlier, but it was still late. Not only did our mother find a new partner, but she is also using my two younger siblings for her evil acts, despite their young age. My foster parents used me, my older brother lied to me, my friends betrayed me, and my real parents abandoned me. That only shows how the world is always against me.
"Son, please forgive me. I hope you come back to us... You're very much welcome to our home." Unexpectedly, I met my real mother who searched for me and begged.
Home, you say. I don't have a home anymore. You left and forgot about me. Y'all keep on bearing a child, then what kind of life will you give to your children? All your excuses are rotten! There is nothing you can do, even if you're sorry. It is easy to apologize, but it is hard to accept such an apology from someone who abandoned you. I ignored her and drove her away.
I lived alone in my house, if it can still be called a house of a human being or a rat. I'm happy because even if I'm alone. There's no longer loneliness in me. Home is not where my family is. Home is where I can find peace. Do y'know what's worse than being an orphan? It's having living, real, and foster parents, but they are the ones causing you trauma and hatred.
I touched my left arm, which was wounded before because of the giant dog. I didn't imagine getting wounded like this when I couldn't even scratch my wrist to die. I have to do something to relieve myself of this. Nothing can hurt me physically and emotionally anymore. Because of my pestilent life, I have learned not to trust anyone. I no longer used to be weak, who wept.
Ever since I joined this game, I have known this is something that I should not pass by. In the world of reality, killing is taboo. Yet I remembered, we're in a fantasy world where killing is a necessary thing to do. I wish to live here for good, but why not create my own fantasy world on Earth?
Amusing to see that all of them are now emotionally invested in one another. And that doesn't apply to me because this is my first and last interaction with them. I have cleared the previous games without sweating, so this one would secure my victory. Bring it on! If I can't scratch myself, then let me scratch y'all instead. This will be the beginning of my life and the end of theirs.