Kakashi threw a kunai perfectly, burying it into the concrete railing right between Naruto and me.
"Naruto! Sakura! Kenji!" Kakashi yelled over the din of battle, parrying a Sound Ninja's sword with his kunai. "This is an A-Rank Mission! Follow Pakkun! Stop Sasuke, and whatever you do, do not let Gaara fully transform! Go!"
Pakkun, the tiny, wrinkly pug with the Konoha headband, let out a gruff sigh. "Alright, you brats, follow my nose. And don't step on my paws."
Naruto slammed his fists together, his eyes burning with determination. "You got it, Kakashi-sensei!"
"An A-Rank mission?" Sakura trembled, looking at the chaos erupting across the stadium.
"A free pass to hunt," I grinned, reaching into my inventory.
I pulled out my red silk tunic and swapped it for my standard, dark tactical gear in a flash of inventory magic.
"System," I whispered, watching Pakkun waddle toward the edge of the balcony. "Let's go catch a raccoon."
I stepped up to the railing, but I didn't follow the pug.
"Hold on," I said loudly, drawing Naruto and Sakura's attention. "Kakashi-sensei, no offense, but we're tracking a homicidal sand demon and an edgy Uchiha. I'm not putting my life in the hands of a dog that looks like a squished potato."
"Hey!" Pakkun barked, offended. "I have highly sensitive olfactory glands, kid!"
"And I have something better," I smirked.
I bit the tip of my thumb, drawing a sharp bead of blood. I didn't bother with hand seals. I just slammed my palm directly onto the concrete floor of the balcony.
Instead of standard black ink, a complex, geometric array of glowing violet light erupted across the stone.
BOOM.
A massive cloud of thick, acrid black smoke exploded on the balcony. The sharp, suffocating smell of sulfur, brimstone, and burning ash instantly filled the air, making Sakura cough and step back.
From the center of the smoke, a low, guttural, demonic growl vibrated through the concrete, shaking the soles of our sandals.
Two glowing, blood-red eyes pierced the shadows.
The smoke cleared, revealing the massive, quadrupedal beast. Doom stepped forward, his pitch-black fur absorbing the sunlight. The pale, bone-like ridges down his spine flexed as he let out a menacing snarl. Dark, ashen hellfire flickered off his razor-sharp fangs. He stood as tall as a tiger, the skull-like collar around his neck clattering ominously.
Pakkun took one look at the A-Rank demon dog, whimpered, and immediately hid behind Naruto's leg.
"W-W-W-What the heck is that?!" Naruto screamed, pointing a trembling finger at the beast. "Kenji! Is that a monster?!"
"A monster?" I feigned insult, casually scratching Doom right behind his massive, curved demonic horns. Doom leaned into the touch, letting out a purr that sounded like a revving chainsaw. "Don't be rude, Naruto. This is Doom. Did you honestly think you were the only one who got a summoning contract this month? I just decided to get one that doesn't ask for a smoke break every five minutes."
"You... you can summon too?!" Naruto's jaw hit the floor. He looked at his own hand, then at the terrifying hellhound, a massive wave of jealousy hitting him. "But... my toad is just a baby! Yours looks like it eats people!"
"He only eats people when I tell him to," I smiled proudly. "Now, hop on. We're taking the express route."
"I am not riding that thing!" Sakura shrieked, pressing her back against the wall.
"Suit yourself. Walk if you want," I vaulted onto Doom's broad, muscular back. "Doom. Track the Sand siblings. Let's roll."
Doom let out a deafening, terrifying roar that made the nearby fighting Sound Ninja freeze in absolute terror, and then he leaped off the balcony, clearing the stadium wall in a single, massive bound. Naruto and Sakura (carrying a terrified Pakkun) scrambled to follow across the rooftops.
****
We were tearing through the dense canopy of the forest just outside the arena. Doom was incredibly fast, his massive paws crushing thick branches into splinters as we leaped from tree to tree. Naruto and Sakura were struggling to keep up with my summon's blistering pace.
As we cleared the immediate vicinity of the stadium, I looked back over my shoulder.
High above the stadium roof, the Four Flames Formation burned a bright, toxic purple. Inside that barrier, the Third Hokage was currently fighting for his life against Orochimaru and the reanimated First and Second Hokages.
We have to go back and help the old man! Naruto had yelled right before we entered the forest.
I hadn't answered him.
Help him? Not a chance, I thought, turning my eyes forward, the wind whipping through my hair.
Sorry, Hiruzen. You're a nice grandpa, but your death is a structural necessity for my master plan. If you survive this, you'll just keep sitting behind that desk, smoking your pipe and burying the village's problems. But if you die... the village will be forced to find a replacement.
A wicked, deeply shameless grin spread across my face.
And there's only one viable candidate for the Fifth Hokage. Tsunade Senju. The Legendary Sucker. The woman with the 106-centimeter, S-Rank, village-destroying assets. I need her back in Konoha. I need her in that Hokage office. A true man of culture plans for the future, and my future involves securing the absolute finest kunoichi this world has to offer. Rest in peace, old man. Your sacrifice will fund my harem.
"Kenji! Up ahead!" Naruto yelled from a branch to my left, snapping me out of my degenerate reverie.
[Observation Haki: Ping.]
Nine distinct, hostile chakra signatures appeared in the trees directly in front of us.
"Ambush," I muttered.
A barrage of dozens of kunai with explosive tags tied to them rained down from the upper canopy, blanketing our path.
"Look out!" Sakura screamed.
"Don't stop!" I ordered. "Doom! Clear the path!"
Doom didn't even slow down. He opened his massive, terrifying jaws. The temperature in the forest instantly skyrocketed.
ROOOAAAR!
A massive, sweeping cone of black-and-crimson hellfire erupted from Doom's mouth. The flames didn't just detonate the explosive tags mid-air; they completely incinerated the incoming kunai, melting the steel into slag before they even got close to us.
The hellfire washed over the upper branches, instantly setting the trees ablaze.
"GAAAH!"
Four Sound Ninja, their camouflage completely burned away, fell from the burning branches, screaming in agony as their flak jackets caught fire. They crashed into the forest floor, completely neutralized.
"Whoa..." Naruto breathed, leaping through the smoke right beside me, his blue eyes wide with awe. "That is so cool!"
But five Sound Ninja remained. They dropped down directly in front of us, blocking the thickest part of the forest path, drawing their katana.
"You're not getting past us, Leaf brats!" the leader of the squad sneered. "We die for Lord Orochimaru!"
"Then perish," I said coldly.
I didn't even bother getting off Doom's back.
[Skill: Elastic Chakra (Bungee Gum)]
I held up my left hand and shot five separate, invisible strands of sticky, rubbery pink chakra. They attached seamlessly to the flak jackets of the five Sound Ninja.
"What the—? I can't move my arms!" one of them panicked, feeling the invisible tension.
"Doom. Up," I commanded.
Doom leaped high into the air, soaring above the canopy.
"Come with me," I grinned, yanking my left arm upward with all of my Uzumaki-enhanced physical strength.
The Bungee Gum snapped violently.
The five Sound Ninja were violently yanked off their feet, rocketing up into the sky like they were attached to industrial bungee cords. They screamed as they were pulled high above the trees.
At the apex of our jump, I released the chakra threads.
"Have a nice flight," I waved.
Gravity immediately took hold of them. Without any momentum or jutsu to save them, the five Sound Ninja plummeted back down, crashing through the thick canopy and slamming brutally into the forest floor a hundred feet below.
CRUNCH. THUD. SNAP.
"Fodder," I sighed, as Doom landed gracefully on a thick branch and continued the pursuit without missing a beat.
Naruto landed next to me, sweating bullets. He looked at me, then at Doom, then down at the broken bodies on the forest floor.
"Remind me," Naruto swallowed hard, "never to make you mad."
"Just keep up, Naruto," I smirked, my Haki already locking onto two massive, familiar chakra signatures miles ahead. "Sasuke just caught up to Gaara. The real show is about to start."
Author's Note:
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