"Tsk, and he'll end up with a wife who has quite the digestive system."
Axel finished Lex's sentence with a grin.
"I don't really care, though. Everyone has one. If it looks good, you can wash it and keep using it. Hahaha!"
Lex rolled his eyes.
Setting down the crab meat in his hand, he sighed.
"Axel, we were having a perfectly normal conversation. How did we end up talking about poop, pee, and farts while we're eating?
And are you seriously saying our world is represented by that kind of humor? Sure, it's full of violence and corruption, but it's not built around bathroom jokes.
It can't be that crude."
As he spoke, Lex handed Axel another beer and clinked cans with him.
After taking a drink, Axel laughed.
"It has nothing to do with our world. Relax, our world is dark enough already.
But believe it or not, the actress who plays the wife of that guy we just spotted in the ocean became infamous because she'd relieve herself around the house after partying too hard.
The best part? She once blamed nearly two pounds of crap on a teacup dog that weighed barely three pounds. Tell me that isn't hilarious."
Axel burst into uncontrollable laughter, filling the Batplane with amused voices.
Bruce simply turned his head away before taking a long drink.
Looking at Axel, he spoke quietly.
"The more I listen to you, the more I understand your perspective.
If I'd known from the beginning that our world was simply a story, that everything we experience was written into a script...
I might have ended up even more unstable than you."
He paused.
"But I think, therefore I am.
Whether we're fictional or not doesn't change that we exist.
So all I can really tell you is this. Keep enjoying the time you have with us. Maybe it'll make carrying that knowledge a little easier."
Before Axel could answer, Bruce continued.
"I've also been wondering about something.
In this story, am I just a supporting character?
And if I am... does the actor playing me have any unusual traits?"
Clark immediately joined in.
"And what about the actor playing me?"
Axel smiled.
"Clark, you're fine. The actor who plays you looks every bit the heroic type, although he seems determined to take darker roles lately."
He turned toward Bruce.
"As for you... sorry, Bruce, but you're asking the wrong question.
Your actor isn't the interesting one.
The actor who plays your greatest enemy is the one who keeps collecting Academy Awards."
Axel threw an arm around Bruce's shoulder and raised his beer.
"Come on, everyone.
Let's drink to Batman's greatest enemy."
Bruce raised his can with everyone else, though his expression became thoughtful.
After another drink, he looked back at Axel.
"So...
If my greatest enemy is portrayed by someone considered one of the finest actors alive...
Then your character can't simply be about killing people.
There must be more beneath the surface.
A complicated past.
Conflicting emotions.
A burden that forces you to become what you are."
Bruce studied him carefully.
"If that's true...
Then you've probably been carrying more than you let anyone see."
Axel blinked.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Bruce answered earnestly.
"You just said my greatest enemy has incredible depth.
And honestly...
I've never met anyone more dangerous than you.
As far as I'm concerned, you're my greatest enemy.
Our relationship is complicated enough to deserve an award."
He awkwardly cleared his throat.
"But I know you don't like talking about yourself.
Let's change the subject.
What about Lex's actor?"
Axel pursed his lips before looking toward Lex.
Lex merely scoffed.
"I'm different.
Even if Axel revealed the truth about this world, every thought I have is still my own.
An actor may imitate me, but no one could ever truly understand my mind."
"Profound thoughts indeed," Axel replied.
"So profound that every actor who plays you ends up bald.
Maybe all that brainpower crushes their hair."
The cabin instantly fell silent.
Clark and Bruce slowly turned toward Lex's long blond hair.
Clark couldn't help asking,
"Lex... do you lose your hair?"
"Absolute nonsense!"
Lex slapped Clark's hand away before it reached his hair.
"Impossible!"
Grinding his teeth, he declared,
"Tomorrow I'm developing the greatest hair treatment ever created.
I refuse to lose a battle against something as ridiculous as baldness."
His unusually serious expression made everyone burst into laughter.
As the smell of beer lingered inside the cabin, the Batplane gradually crossed into the Arctic.
The open hatch allowed freezing air to flood inside, frosting the walls of the aircraft.
Even the leftover seafood would have frozen solid within minutes.
The gathering finally came to an end.
Everyone helped clean up before Clark leaned out of the open hatch and vomited into the ocean below.
Lex walked over with a grin.
"You really need more practice.
You can't even outdrink me."
Clark wiped his mouth.
"Drinking causes hair loss.
Throwing some of it back up should reduce the damage."
Lex immediately elbowed him in the side.
Bruce returned to the cockpit.
Despite the alcohol, he quickly located the coordinates.
The Batplane descended toward a vast frozen landscape where thick Arctic ice stretched from land out across the sea.
He gently landed on the frozen surface.
Although this wasn't Antarctica, seals occupied much of the region, and the smell they left behind was impossible to ignore.
Two polar bears watched the aircraft curiously from the distance.
Bruce lowered his cowl as his voice came through everyone's communication devices.
"All right.
Hopefully the beer hasn't affected anyone too badly.
If Clark's coordinates are accurate, we're standing directly above our destination.
Part of what's beneath us lies under solid Arctic land, while the rest extends beneath roughly sixty meters of ancient ice before continuing beneath the ocean.
Axel, your senses are better than any equipment we have.
Is the target directly below us?
And if it is, can we reach it without destabilizing the surrounding ice or affecting sea levels?"
Axel smacked Bruce on the shoulder.
"I swear, you geniuses overthink everything.
Why would I care about all that?"
He waved everyone back.
"Stand aside.
There's a massive spacecraft underneath us, much bigger than the scout ship you hauled back to Wayne Manor."
Lex tossed him a reinforced pickaxe.
Axel looked at it with mild confusion before Lex said,
"We live near the coast.
I'd appreciate it if you didn't accidentally flood half the world."
Clark nodded.
"And I'd rather not destroy the clues my family left behind.
Let's dig our way down."
Without waiting, Clark swung the pickaxe.
The reinforced tool carved through the ice at incredible speed.
Listening to the steady rhythm of metal striking ice, Axel sighed.
"Fine.
Since we're here to enjoy ourselves, I'll play along.
Besides, you three are worth the extra effort."
He picked up his own pickaxe and joined Clark.
Meanwhile, Bruce and Lex used the cutting lasers built into their suits to widen and reinforce the tunnel as they descended.
As they continued digging...
Hundreds of miles away, scientists stationed at an Arctic research facility noticed something unusual.
The geomagnetic monitoring equipment suddenly displayed dense, rhythmic disturbances.
The readings pulsed like a heartbeat.
One researcher stared in disbelief before calling out,
"Captain, come look at this.
What kind of signal is this?
Did somebody start forging steel underneath the Arctic?"
"The source is over a hundred meters below the surface," the expedition leader replied.
"Forget guessing.
Connect to the satellite feed."
Moments later, satellite imagery appeared on the monitor.
The Batplane stood clearly on the ice.
Nearby, four figures worked around a massive excavation site.
One face in particular immediately triggered multiple security warnings.
EXTREMELY DANGEROUS.
The expedition team stared at the image of Axel.
Unlike the others, who wore armored suits and masks, Axel's face was completely visible.
One researcher frowned.
"Does anyone know who this guy is?
Why is a person receiving the same threat classification as a nuclear submarine?"
Before anyone could answer, the station door swung open.
A woman wearing two heavy parkas stepped inside, frost covering her hair and clothing.
She saluted politely.
"Hello.
I'm Lois Lane, a reporter from the Daily Planet.
The military should have informed you I'm here.
I'll be spending roughly eight months covering Arctic ice melt and documenting the shrinking habitat of polar bears."
The expedition leader smiled.
"I know who you are.
General Lane's daughter, right?
I served under your father years ago.
Don't worry, Lois. We'll take good care of you."
As someone moved to escort her inside, Lois glanced toward the satellite image on the wall.
Her eyes widened.
"Wait...
That's Wraith."
She stared at the photograph in disbelief.
"I traveled all the way to the Arctic.
Why am I still running into that guy?
What are he and his associates doing in a place like this?"
The expedition leader immediately stepped forward.
"You know the man in the satellite image?"
"Of course I do.
Apparently everyone knows him except the people stationed at the poles."
A trace of lingering fear appeared on Lois's face.
The leader swallowed nervously.
"I was about to report this to headquarters.
Since you're familiar with him, come with me while I file the report."
"Absolutely.
I need to inform my father too.
Why would Wraith suddenly appear in the Arctic?
He isn't actually following me... is he?"
Meanwhile, on the frozen coastline, Axel and Clark had already dug more than fifty meters through solid ice.
Eventually the ice gave way to dense permafrost.
They continued downward for another one hundred and eighty meters.
Just as Axel prepared another swing, Clark quickly grabbed his arm.
"Boss, stop.
The ship is right beneath us."
Clark tossed aside the reinforced pickaxe, now nearly destroyed despite Lex's advanced alloy.
Instead, he dug directly into the frozen ground with his bare hands.
After removing several chunks of permafrost and digging another seventy centimeters, his fingers finally rested against an icy sheet of alien metal.
===
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