Chapter 39: The Taco Bed Incident and the Departure of the Emo King part-3
He slammed into the wall. It repaired itself.
Naruto tried Rasengan. It repaired itself.
"It is regenerative," Neji analyzed with his Byakugan. "But the chakra distribution is uneven. There is a weak point."
"Where?" Shikamaru asked.
"On the far side," Neji pointed. "But we need a concentrated impact."
"Chouji!" Shikamaru ordered. "Human Boulder!"
"Right!" Chouji expanded.
"Wait," I stepped forward. "I can help."
"How?" Kiba asked. "You don't have destructive power."
"I have... grease," I said.
I pulled out a Grease Bomb.
"If I coat the wall in grease," I explained, my logic struggling to keep up with the System's madness, "Chouji will spin faster. Less friction equals more velocity."
Shikamaru blinked. "That... is actually scientifically sound. Do it."
I threw the grease bomb at the weak point on the wall. Splash. The earth wall was now slick with oil.
"Go, Chouji!"
Chouji rolled. He hit the grease patch.
ZOOM.
His rotation speed tripled. He sounded like a jet engine.
CRASH!
He slammed into the wall. The combination of mass, speed, and slippery physics shattered the barrier.
We burst out into the sunlight.
The Sound Four looked shocked.
"They escaped?" Jirobo grunted. "How?"
"We are slippery!" Kiba yelled triumphantly.
"That sounds wrong," Shino (who was not there) would have said.
"You guys go ahead!" Chouji shouted. "I will handle the fat one! He called me fat. It's personal."
"Chouji..." Shikamaru hesitated.
"Go!"
We left Chouji behind. It hurt, but we had to keep moving.
.............
Next up was Kidomaru, the spider. Neji stayed behind to fight him.
"Hinata-sama," Neji said, looking at me. "Go. Protect Naruto. Your... unpredictability is needed elsewhere."
"Be careful, Neji-niisan," I whispered. "Don't... don't die."
"I won't," Neji smirked. "I have destiny to rewrite."
We ran on.
Then it was Kiba's turn against Sakon and Ukon. He and Akamaru stayed back.
Finally, it was just Shikamaru, Naruto, and me chasing Tayuya and the barrel.
And then, a new enemy appeared.
Kimimaro.
He emerged from the forest, looking pale and sickly, holding a bone sword. He grabbed the barrel.
"I will take Sasuke-sama to Orochimaru," Kimimaro said softly.
Naruto charged. "No you won't!"
Kimimaro danced. His movements were fluid. He sprouted bones from his body to block every attack.
"He is strong!" Naruto grunted.
"Go, Naruto!" Rock Lee appeared out of nowhere (he had snuck out of the hospital). "I will fight the Bone Man! You chase the barrel!"
Naruto nodded. "Come on, Hinata! Shikamaru, you handle the Flute Girl!"
"So troublesome," Shikamaru groaned, facing Tayuya.
Naruto and I chased the barrel. But in the chaos, the barrel had been knocked loose. It was rolling down a hill.
It rolled into a large, open valley. The Valley of the End.
The barrel hit a rock and cracked open.
Smoke poured out.
Sasuke Uchiha stepped out.
He looked different. His skin was grey. He had hand-wings. The Curse Mark Level 2.
"Sasuke!" Naruto shouted, stopping at the edge of the water.
Sasuke looked up. His eyes were cold and yellow. He laughed maniacally.
"Naruto... you are late."
He looked at me standing next to Naruto.
"And you brought the annoyance."
I adjusted my Glasses of Invisibility.
(He looks scary. He looks like a monster.)
"Sasuke, come back to the village!" Naruto pleaded. "Tsunade-baachan can fix the mark!"
"I don't want to be fixed," Sasuke smiled cruelly. "I want to sever my bonds. Starting with you."
He charged.
The final battle began. Naruto vs. Sasuke.
I stood on the sidelines. I knew I couldn't interfere in their clash of ideals. This was between them.
But...
[System Alert: The Plot says you should watch. The System says: Throw a banana peel.]
(I can't throw a banana peel at a demon!)
[System: Watch me.]
Naruto and Sasuke clashed in the center of the lake. Rasengan vs. Chidori. The shockwave was massive.
Water sprayed everywhere.
I was blown back by the wind. I hit a tree.
"Oof."
I slid down the trunk.
Sasuke stood over Naruto. He prepared to deliver the final blow.
"Goodbye, Naruto."
"No!" I screamed.
I grabbed a rock. I threw it.
It was a pathetic throw. It wobbled in the air.
But I had the Lucky Coin in my pocket.
The rock hit a bird passing by. The bird squawked and dropped the fish it was carrying.
The fish fell.
It fell directly onto Sasuke's head.
Slap.
A wet, slimy river fish hit the Demon Sasuke right in the face.
Sasuke flinched. "What the—?"
That split second of confusion was all Naruto needed. He surged with Nine-Tails chakra. He punched Sasuke in the jaw.
Sasuke flew back, crashing into the Madara statue.
Sasuke looked at the fish on the ground. He looked at me.
"You..." Sasuke growled. "Even here? Even at the end of all things... you throw fish at me?"
"It was the bird!" I defended myself.
Sasuke stood up. He looked exhausted. The fish incident had ruined his dark, edgy momentum.
"I am leaving," Sasuke decided. "This fight has become stupid."
He turned and walked away into the shadows. He didn't kill Naruto. He just left, annoyed and smelling of fish.
Naruto lay on the ground, unconscious but alive.
"Sasuke!" I whispered.
He was gone.
Kakashi arrived moments later. He picked up Naruto. He looked at me.
"Did you... save him?" Kakashi asked.
"I think... the bird saved him," I said.
Kakashi looked at the fish on the ground. "A tactical fish drop. Brilliant."
We headed back to Konoha. We had failed to retrieve Sasuke. But we had saved our friends.
And I had learned a valuable lesson: Even the most dramatic anime battles can be interrupted by a well-timed piece of seafood.
.............
Name: Hinata HyugaShy Points: 4,300.Achievements: Taco Bed Folder, Wall Grease Expert, Fish Sniper.Outcome: Sasuke escaped (but was humiliated). Naruto survived.
.............
The morning Naruto Uzumaki left the village to train with Jiraiya was bright, clear, and emotional. I stood behind a utility pole near the village gates, clutching a bento box I had stayed up all night to make.
.....
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