I whispered softly to myself,
"I hope you know… whatever I feel for you is real, Max…"
I knew I could never be his girlfriend.
So I chose something easier…
or maybe harder.
Loving him from a distance.
As his best friend.
Because I knew one thing for sure—
if I stopped talking to him… I wouldn't be okay.
It was 2 a.m.
And we were still talking.
I had never stayed up this late for anyone before.
That alone should have told me how much he meant to me.
But no matter how much he meant…
He would never be mine.
He told me he was upset.
About someone from the gym.
That same "sister-like" friend.
I listened quietly.
Somehow… I understood him.
My own brother feels ashamed to call me his sister sometimes.
I don't even have friends.
Everyone at school hates me.
So maybe… I knew what it felt like
to not be enough for someone.
We kept talking.
And talking.
And I didn't even realize when time slipped away.
4 a.m.
I had tuition in just a few hours.
I had no choice.
"I'm going to sleep," I told him.
After barely two hours of sleep,
my mother woke me up.
Everything felt heavy—my eyes, my head, my heart.
I got ready somehow.
Soon, my tuition teacher arrived.
He was young… maybe around 20.
I asked him to sit on the chair and placed the table in front of him.
I sat on the bed.
"Bring some water," he said.
I nodded and stood up.
But I didn't notice…
The floor was slippery.
My foot slipped.
And suddenly—
I fell.
Hard.
Pain shot through my leg.
Before I could even process it,
I felt hands on my shoulders.
"Are you okay?!" he asked, helping me up.
My body froze.
My cheeks burned.
And suddenly…
Memories came rushing back.
Something I didn't want to remember.
Something I tried to forget.
I hated being touched.
After what my ex did…
after the way he forced me into things I wasn't ready for…
Even a simple touch felt wrong.
Uncomfortable.
Heavy.
I didn't know how to react.
I just stood there…
Silent.
Confused.
And scared of my own feelings.
To be continue...