EXT. MOUNT SINAI HOSPITAL - NIGHT
The snow had turned to a freezing rain that glazed the city in a treacherous, black ice shell. Perched on a rooftop two buildings over, SPIDER-MAN and GABE presented a study in contrasts.
Spider-Man crouched like a gargoyle, faded red and blue against the dark sky, rain beading on his lenses. Gabe stood beside him, bundled in a bulky winter coat, a ridiculous wool hat with a pom-pom pulled low over his ears, and holding a damp paper bag. He looked like a man who had severely misread the evening's plans.
GABE
(Voice trembling, from cold or terror)
"I want it on the record that this is the single worst idea in the history of bad ideas. I'm a receptionist. My most daring act is overriding the coffee machine's 'clean me' light."
SPIDER-MAN
(Modulator humming)
"You're my backup. Every hero needs backup."
GABE
"Your backup should be someone who can, I don't know, land safely! I have the upper body strength of a damp noodle! Look at my hands!" He held up his gloved hands. "They're for typing and handing out lollipops to crying children! Not for… for whatever this is!"
SPIDER-MAN
"It's a simple infiltration. I'll carry you. We go in through the window. You do the decorating. I do the talking. In and out."
GABE
"'Carry me.' You say that like it's 'pass the salt.' What's your safety record? Last time I saw you 'in action,' you were using a police car as a chew toy!"
SPIDER-MAN
"That was a low point. I've practiced. Mostly."
Before Gabe could protest further, Spider-Man scooped him up in a fireman's carry. Gabe let out a undignified squeak, the paper bag crinkling.
SPIDER-MAN
"Hold onto the bag. And maybe don't look down."
He leapt.
Gabe did look down. He immediately regretted it. The ground rushed up, then away, as Spider-Man fired a web-line. The swing was… better than last time. Not graceful, but functional. Gabe's stomach performed a series of Olympic-level somersaults. They swung in a wide, wet arc towards the hospital's seventh floor.
SPIDER-MAN
"Window on the count of three! One…!"
He released the web.
GABE
"YOU SAID THREE!"
They were falling, a tangle of limbs and panic, directly toward Martinez's dark window.
At the last second, Spider-Man twisted, aiming his feet. He hit the window with a thud that was definitely not silent, but the latch, already weakened from his last visit, gave way. The window burst open.
They tumbled into the room.
It was not a heroic entrance.
Spider-Man landed in a crouch, skidding slightly on the wet floor. Gabe did not land in a crouch. He landed on his backside with a heavy whump, the paper bag flying from his grip and scattering its contents across the room.
SPIDER-MAN
(Standing, brushing himself off)
"See? In and out."
GABE
(Lying on the floor, groaning)
"My spine is now in the shape of a question mark. Specifically, 'Why?'"
The heart monitor continued its steady beep… beep… beep. MARTINEZ lay unchanged in her bed, her eyes closed. The room was dark, lit only by the glow of the machines and the city lights through the now-open window, letting in a gust of freezing rain.
Spider-Man walked over and calmly closed the window. Gabe slowly, painfully, got to his feet, clutching his lower back.
SPIDER-MAN
"Okay, backup. Decorate."
GABE
"Decorate? We just committed breaking and entering! And possibly gave me a compression fracture!"
SPIDER-MAN
"You're fine. You're resilient. Like a cockroach. With better benefits. Now, the bag."
Gabe limped around, collecting the scattered items from his bag. They were not what one would expect for a covert op: a handful of cheap, cheerful daisies (from the all-night bodega), a small, battery-powered string of fairy lights, and a plush, dopey-looking spider toy he'd won from a crane game years ago.
GABE
(Muttering as he set up)
"This is insane. I'm adorning a crime scene."
He taped the fairy lights in a gentle arc above Martinez's bed, the tiny warm white bulbs casting a soft, magical glow. He put the daisies in a water cup by her bedside. He placed the plush spider on her pillow, next to her head.
GABE
(To Martinez, in his best nurse-voice)
"There you go, sweetie. A little ambiance. Rated 'E' for 'Extremely Illegal.'"
Spider-Man pulled up the now-familiar chair and sat backwards in it.
SPIDER-MAN
"See? Backup. Improves the mood. Sets the scene."
GABE
(Leaning against a counter, rubbing his back)
"The scene is 'felony trespass.' So, what's the plan? More pigeon stories?"
SPIDER-MAN
"Tonight, we're mixing it up. I brought a visual aid." He gestured to Gabe. "This is Gabe. He's my guy in the chair. Well, currently he's my guy clutching the wall in pain, but usually he's in the chair."
Gabe gave a weak, pained wave. "Hi. I handle logistics. And regret."
SPIDER-MAN
"I told you I'm not great at the grand saves. Part of the reason is this knucklehead. Exhibit A: The Great Molten Cheese Calamity."
Gabe's eyes went wide. "Oh, no. We are not telling that story."
SPIDER-MAN
"We absolutely are. So, a few years back, I'm tracking this low-level tech thief. 'The Byte Bandit.' Real hacker type. Hides his lair in the old cheese factory in Greenpoint."
GABE
(To Martinez, pleading)
"He's exaggerating."
SPIDER-MAN
"I get there. Place smells like feet and regret. I'm crawling through a ventilation shaft—a classic move—and Gabe's in my ear. He'd hacked the factory's ancient security system."
GABE
"It was a DOS system! I'm a medical receptionist, not a time traveler!"
SPIDER-MAN
"So I say, 'Gabe, find me a map of these vents.' He says, 'On it.' I hear furious typing. Then he says, 'Okay, I've got the blueprints from 1978. Take a left at the giant vat.'"
Spider-Man's modulated voice took on a theatrical tone. "I take the left. I am now directly over what the blueprint called 'Vat 7: Primary Curdling Station.' The grate gives way."
Gabe buried his face in his hands.
SPIDER-MAN
"I fall. Not into crime-fighting. Into approximately three thousand gallons of lukewarm, partially fermented cheese whey."
GABE
(Muffled)
"It was an archival error!"
SPIDER-MAN
"I am submerged. In cheese-adjacent liquid. The Byte Bandit is laughing so hard he drops his flash drive. I web it, and him. But I am now the world's stickiest, smelliest crime-fighter. My suit… it wept cheese for a week. I had to swing home downwind of the city. Gabe's final words on comms that night were: 'Try not to get any on the suit.'"
Gabe peeked through his fingers at Martinez. "In my defense, the archives were digitized by a guy who thought 'Y2K' was a new brand of yogurt."
Martinez lay still. But in the soft fairy light, did the corner of her mouth seem… less tense? Or was it a trick of the shadows?
SPIDER-MAN
"Exhibit B: The Case of the Misguided Missile."
GABE
"Now that was not my fault! That was a collective failure of urban planning!"
SPIDER-MAN
"There was a parade. For… something. Tax law? Doesn't matter. Bad guy—classic 'robs an armored car during a parade' guy—gets away on a stolen parade float. A giant, rocket-shaped float. 'The Future is Now!' Very pointy."
GABE
"I was monitoring police bands! I said, 'He's heading for the Brooklyn Bridge!'"
SPIDER-MAN
"What you didn't say was that the float's rocket nose cone was held on by… bungee cords. I swing down, classic landing-on-the-nose pose. The second my feet touch it… SPROING."
Spider-Man mimicked the sound with a wet, modulated thwump.
SPIDER-MAN
"The nose cone launches. With me still heroically posed on it. I am now riding a giant, fiberglass rocket nose cone like a surfboard, soaring over the East River, headed for Staten Island."
GABE
"I was providing live commentary! 'You're at fifty feet… looking good… avoid the seagulls… oh, there's the ferry…'"
SPIDER-MAN
"I had to web it like a bucking bronco. Steered it into a nice, soft patch of landfill. The bad guy got away because he was too busy watching me become a human missile on the six o'clock news."
Gabe shrugged, a genuine smile breaking through his pained expression. "You got a standing ovation from the garbage seagulls. It was very moving."
They fell into a comfortable silence, the only sound the rain, the machines, and their breathing. The room felt different. Warmer. Less like a tomb, more like a… quirky, slightly damp sitcom set.
Spider-Man looked at Martinez, then at Gabe.
SPIDER-MAN
(Modulator dialed down to its warmest setting)
"The point is, kid… the job's messy. It's cheese vats and faulty parade floats. It's having a best friend who can't read a blueprint. It's failing, a lot. But you show up anyway. And you bring your guy. However he manages to show up."
Gabe straightened up, his nurse's professionalism reasserting itself. He walked over and checked Martinez's IV line, adjusted her blanket with a gentle touch.
GABE
(To her, softly)
"He's a pain. A literal pain in my back. But he's my pain. And I guess… if you're sticking around for his stories, you're our pain now, too. Welcome to the team. The benefits are terrible and the retirement plan is nonexistent, but the company… it's okay."
No response. The monitor beeped on. The fairy lights twinkled. The plush spider stared with its googly eyes.
Spider-Man stood up. He patted Gabe on the shoulder. "Good backup."
GABE
"Worst backup. But you're stuck with me."
Spider-Man walked to the window. He looked back at the bed, at the girl surrounded by daisies and fairy lights and absurd stories.
SPIDER-MAN
"Alright, Princess. That's enough excitement for one night. We'll let you get your beauty rest. Which, by the way, you don't need. But get it anyway."
He opened the window. The cold, wet air rushed in.
SPIDER-MAN
"We'll be back tomorrow. New stories. Maybe one where Gabe here tries to use a defibrillator on a toaster. It's a thriller."
GABE
(Waving from the window)
"It was sparking! I was being proactive!"
Spider-Man grabbed Gabe again, who let out a long-suffering sigh. "Not the fireman's carry. I beg you."
SPIDER-MAN
"Fine. Piggyback."
GABE
"That's worse! That's so much worse!"
With Gabe clinging to his back like a terrified koala, Spider-Man shot a web into the rainy night. They swung out into the darkness, leaving the window open just a crack, the fairy lights glowing like a tiny, persistent constellation in the silent, beeping room.
The vigil continued. But now, it had daisies. And a really dumb plush spider.