Thwack...
Thwack...
Thwack...
Swinging Durandalibur across the myriad trees that blocked his view, Natsuki spat out a lone twig that somehow flew into his mouth. "Thwip! Which unholy asshole immediately sends our their heronto fight the Demon King without any training! I mean come on, doesn't every isekai 101 say that before heading out to defeat the Demon King we need to power-up the chosen one!? Where is mah big-tiddied Knights!?"
Pissed beyond belief at being robbed the chance to learn swordsmanship under a busty blonde-haired female knight, Natsuki hacked through the bushes were the supposed 'Demon King' army is supposed to be at. At this very leacharous (but genuinely astute) observation, all Natsuki got was a giant kick to his legs (it was aimed at his manhood, but due to a certain ex-hero, it got saved...).
Rolling his eyes, Scaramond looked at the whining brat of a hero. "Kid, forget about what those 'Isekai' stories tell you about reincarnating in other worlds – please tell me, which moron on Aeronia would willingly give up their finest beauties to some random horndog from another world, even if they might be tbe hero to save the world. Also, most heroes who get transmigrated with unholy power levelling are usually those creatures you usually call, back in 'your' country of Japan–
Otakus
And tell me, do you know any otaku who is sporting 8-packs and a 12-inch shlong? No one!"
Seeing Scaramond grow more and more animated, Natsuki couldn't help but ask the cybernatic cowboy why they only picked otakus.
"Simple really–
Otakus are the only creatures on earth whose delusions are strong enough to juice themselves into OP beings– And no, trust me, enough research was done on this to prove it, much to my chagrin..."
Confused at the lore bomb, just as Natsuki was about to ask Scaramond what on earth he meant, he stopped in his tracks–
Awooo!
"Shit! Everybody, prepare for battle!"
And with that, a gigantic shadow flew from the bushes in the front
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The first casualty did not come from some soldier defending their fallen brother, nor from a righteous commander falling after felling 300 Demons. No, the first came from the pussy of a commander that was a 5th generation noble falling from his horse at the sudden attack, breaking his neck during the fall.
God damn it! That's why I hate fucking incompetent, good-for-nothing bootlickers who only managed to enter thanks to sucking up the King's arse!
Clenching his sword tight, Duke Calmlot rallied the stupefied men, rousing them from their stupefaction. "Raise your swords, children of the Light! Raise them for the King (even if he may be better called as a chamber pot...)!"
Hearing the call from their beloved commander, they all regained their senses. Using newfound vigor, the soldiers charged at the Shadow monsters, willing to burn their life for the sake of the Kingdom (even if most nobles are stuck-up bricks...)
I hope the new Hero can handle this, and not be some stuck up effeminate manwhore whose only redeeming quality is sucking up the lifeforce of women...
At these final thoughts, Calmlot turned his pensive gaze from the soldiers to the glade far away, hoping that this new hero is not some imposter, but someone who'll bring am end to this sordid tale and usher in a new golden dawn...
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"Holy fuck, what did they do to you...