She wasn't looking at Franz. She was looking at Lexx. "Even before he was born."
Franz didn't answer. She was right. The pregnancy, the birth, the exhaustion, the return to work. He hadn't pushed. He hadn't wanted to. He'd noticed, though.
"It's not that I don't—" She stopped. Started again. "My body isn't the same."
"That's not a problem for me."
"I know." She adjusted Lexx in her arms. "That's not what I mean."
He waited.
"I've been working," she said. "Getting up early, putting in time at the gym. And it's not about the weight. I know that." She looked down at Lexx, who was pulling at her collar with one small fist. "I look at myself and nothing looks right. Like everything was put back a little wrong and I can't find where."
"A little wrong how?"
"I don't know." The admission cost her something. "That's the worst part. I can't name it. I just—" She stopped. "I don't feel like myself yet."
"Has it been like this since he was born?" Franz asked.
