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….
"Let me stop you right there," I raised my cane like a warning barrier, derailing whatever thought was forming in the scientist's head.
"If you are about to recount your ancestors' sick, twisted sexual fantasies about my mythological counterpart, don't. I know you Vikings eat that stuff up, but I promise you, I will not appreciate it."
"Alright," the scientist agreed with a compliant and suspiciously quick nod.
Yeah, he definitely knew exactly what I was talking about. And from the look on his face, he had absolutely been thinking about it. Vikings... they really never change, do they?
"You never did tell me why you keep calling me that strange name," Jane, or Padmé, as I preferred, pressed the issue, having noticed her colleague's sudden awkwardness but choosing to ignore it.
"I did not," I agreed, flashing her a dazzling, picture-perfect smile. "And let's keep it that way. Let it be my little secret," I added with a conspiratorial wink. "Now, why did I actually come here?" I spun back to Thor, giving her no time to pursue the subject. "As promised, I've sorted out the mess. You can come home, Thor."
"You... thank you, brother!"
"Ah, ah, ah! No suffocating bear hugs!" I threw a hand up. The guy was just too simple-hearted and possessed entirely too much kinetic energy. "And rein in the joy for a second. Seeing as I am the God of Deceit, Mischief, and a general villain-at-large, your spoonful of honey comes with a rather large barrel of tar."
"What do you mean?" He cooled down slightly, though the golden-retriever excitement was still practically vibrating off him.
"This requires a private conversation." I wiggled my eyebrows with heavy implication. "Mind if I steal him for a couple of minutes?" I turned to the astrophysicists. "Do you have a room with a door?"
"Yes, of course, right this way," Jane immediately sprang into action, clearly grasping the gravity of the situation faster than my brother.
"Here... this one's empty." She ushered us into a back room that had clearly just been stripped of equipment; the outlines of dust on the floor hadn't even been scuffed yet.
"We'll wait in the living area," she assured me, hastily retreating and dragging Darcy, whose nose was twitching with terminal, feline curiosity, along with her.
…
"Alright, here is the situation," I said, immediately casting a localized privacy ward to block out any eavesdroppers, including a certain all-seeing Gatekeeper. "You can go home. Furthermore, you are going to rule Asgard. But... there are nuances."
"What kind of nuances?" Oh wow, Thor was actually furrowing his brow and focusing!
"I cannot give you your powers back. At least, not quickly. When Odin did what he did, he was furious, and he cast that banishment spell with his whole chest. You are going to have to serve your sentence and genuinely learn the lesson he wanted you to learn. That is the only way to fully break a seal forged in the name of your father, grandfather, and great-grandfather."
"B-but... what am I supposed to do in Asgard without my power?" The collective brain trust of all Vikings instantly sagged, his broad shoulders slumping.
"Think," I chopped the word out coldly. "You are far too accustomed to being the Mighty Thor, brother. You solve every problem with a hammer strike. You never stop to consider if a task is actually within the capabilities of your companions, or how dangerous it is for them. You never think about the consequences of your little adventures."
"And why? Because you are addicted to the rush. You love that feeling of swooping in at the decisive moment, saving your friends, playing the glorious hero who single-handedly turns the tide of battle."
"That is a terrible, lethal trait for a King to have. You forget that not everyone around you is an indestructible Thunderer, and that the Thunderer cannot be everywhere at once. Therefore, you are going to have to learn to trust others. To delegate a task, knowing full well that you cannot personally influence the outcome."
"I do trust others!" the blond protested, his pride stung.
"No," I cut him off harshly. "You believe in them. You do not *trust* them."
"W-what is the difference?" This thousand-year-old man-child blinked at me with absolute, naive bewilderment.
"The difference is that you believe in the loyalty of your friends, but you do not trust in their success. When was the last time you sent the Warriors Three and Sif into a battle without you? You are always right there with them. No matter how petty the skirmish, you are always at the vanguard, hogging all the glory, graciously allowing them to mop up whatever scraps manage to slip past your hammer. You praise them, you shower them with grand words about their valor, but have you ever once let them win a battle on their own? Without your supervision?
"Trusting them doesn't just mean believing they'll watch your back. It means believing in them as warriors. Believing that they are capable of taking care of themselves and executing a mission without the Mighty Thor acting as their glorified wet nurse. And even that isn't enough."
I locked eyes with him, holding his gaze hostage, refusing to let up the pressure. "You need to understand. Understand what they need, what they are capable of, and what is beyond their strength. You have to learn how to issue an order and accept the consequences of that order, fully realizing that it might cost the lives of the people you sent into the meat grinder, and knowing that you cannot fly in on your magic hammer at the last second to reverse fate.
"I cannot lift your punishment, brother. I can only change its venue. Your punishment will be to rule Asgard relying solely on the strength of others. To sit on the throne knowing that your mistake, your flawed plan, or your oversight will be paid for in the blood of your subjects, and the only way you can prevent it is by using your head before the swords are drawn.
"It is time to grow up, Thor. The galaxy is standing on the precipice of a brutal, apocalyptic war against a threat that makes Jotunheim look like a sandbox. The Allfather will not always be there to swoop in and fix your mistakes. The time for trying to buy a kitten so you can ride it into battle is over."
"Why do you keep bringing up the kitten?" Thor grumbled defensively, but his face was incredibly dark, his eyes swirling with heavy, uncharacteristic thought. And resentment. He clearly didn't like being dressed down by his "nerd" younger brother.
Oh yeah, Asgard is going to suffer a bit of whiplash with him in charge, even with these marginal improvements in his maturity.
As if reading my mind, Thor immediately proved my point: "Anyway, if you're so damn smart, why don't you be King?!"
"I'd love to make your day and agree, but I can't," I countered effortlessly. "Back when I was young and foolish, sure, I wanted the throne. But now, as you might recall, it turns out I am the biological son of Laufey. We cannot keep that secret buried forever, and Asgard will never accept a Frost Giant as their King. If I try to hold onto that throne, the moment the truth comes out, things will get much... much worse. Especially considering I just conquered the throne of Jotunheim."
"You... you did what?"
Thor practically collapsed right where he stood. Thank the Norns he managed to reflexively grab the edge of an empty filing cabinet and land his massive bulk on it instead of hitting the floor.
"How else was I supposed to deal with the impending war you started? So don't be an ungrateful swine. Tag me out on at least one of these thrones. I am already spread thin across three jobs!"
"W-what... jobs?" my brother wheezed, staring up at me with a pitiful, shell-shocked expression.
"I had just found my calling working with children at a lovely local boarding school here on Earth. Then Mother practically shoved Gungnir and the rest of the royal regalia down my throat. Then I got the Ice Throne from Laufey and the title of King of Jotunheim... I had to exploit their barbaric traditions and demand a sacred duel to the death to avenge a blood betrayal. Laufey leaving me to die on the palace floor as an infant was grounds enough.
"So, congratulations. Thanks to your little field trip, I am now a patricide and the absolute ruler of a race of vicious ice monsters. Which is a workload I can manage perfectly fine, but not if I also have to govern Asgard, a realm entirely populated by people who violently hate those same ice monsters."
….
If you want to read ahead by 20+ chapters from here you can visit my Patre-on.
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