If you want to read ahead by 20+ chapters from here you can visit my Patre-on.
[P] [A] [T] [R] [E] [O] [N]
[email protected]/Yggdrasil_Loki
….
Without putting things off, I made my way to the Allfather's chambers, where the Queen still hadn't left her post.
Man, I'm almost jealous. Odin is an absolute bastard, but he scored a wife who is a sight for sore eyes. Smart, beautiful (well, she was a knockout about a thousand years ago), and actually loves the old goat. If push came to shove, she really would step onto his funeral pyre like in the old Norse myths...
"I'm back, Mother." I pushed the gloomy, slightly envious thoughts out of my head, entered the bedchamber, and smiled at the woman sitting faithfully by Odin's bed.
"Loki." Just one word, and I already felt wildly awkward.
Seconds later, I was being hugged, inspected for injuries, and hugged again.
"You came back." Ugh, there it was again, that multidimensional maternal intonation that leaves you completely defenseless... Plus, I could almost physically feel the curiosity radiating from Frigga.
"Yes, yes," my smile widened. "Alright, I've checked in, proved I'm in one piece, and now I'll be taking my leave..."
"Loki!" Oh, the classic blend of a stern demand and a pitiful plea. How does she do that?
"Okay, okay, I'm joking." I sat down in the guest chair, leaving the spear standing next to me. The goddess settled back down next to Odin's bed. "So... basically, I solved the Jotunheim problem. Laufey won't be bothering us anymore."
"Could you elaborate?" the woman frowned, clearly sensing that whatever I was about to say probably wouldn't be to her liking.
"Well," I rubbed my palms together, looking for the right phrasing. "I exploited the Jotuns' own traditions, challenged Laufey to a duel, killed him, seized power in that frozen wasteland, and became their King."
"..." Frigga blinked at me in silence. Hmm. Was it just me, or did Odin's cheek just twitch weirdly in his sleep?
"..." I raised a questioning eyebrow.
"This... this isn't a joke, is it?"
"No," I shook my head.
"So you... you just went and conquered a realm that even the Allfather couldn't bring to heel... and you did it alone? In a day?"
"In a couple of hours, to be precise. Another six were spent getting up to speed with Laufey's advisors. Sorry I missed lunch."
"..." She's not forgiving me for that. I can see it in her eyes!
"Look, Mother," I started getting indignant myself, "you guys yanked me out of my vacation and forced me to clean up the mess Thor made, but I still have every intention of getting back to my plan of lying in a hammock somewhere by a warm Midgardian sea, preferably cuddling with a breathtaking goddess. So I have neither the time nor the desire to drag this process out. But don't worry, I didn't tarnish Asgard's honor, it was all very majestic and dramatic! Gungnir can confirm, it had a great time," I nodded at the spear.
"A goddess?" It seemed after that word, Mother stopped hearing anything else. "A third one already..." she whispered softly, then perked up. "Do you like her? What does she look like? Why didn't you bring her here?"
Ahem. I really shouldn't have said that.
"Well... first of all, let me remind you that someone just up and yanked me out of Midgard practically in the middle of a rescue op. Secondly, I've only been on a couple of dates with her, and I am a long, long way from winning her heart... if it's even possible." I sighed. After all, in my memory, even Dracula couldn't manage it.
Besides, we're in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, which means there must be Pain, Suffering, and a Catch. For example, if I wasn't so sure about the Prof's moral compass being akin to an actual Saint, I'd start worrying that the newly-healed telepath might inadvertently steal my girl. And completely by accident, too. But I was sure about Charles, so my only real worry was Storm stealing Yuriko... yeah.
But I digress, and so did Frigga.
"Let's get back to our sheep. I mean, Thor!"
"Loki," she looked at me reproachfully.
"What? I love him, value him, and all that, of course, but that doesn't change the fact that he tried to buy a kitten in Midgard so he could ride it..."
"A kitten?"
"Oh? Did I say that out loud? Whaaat a shame." Yeah, a petty move, but oh so satisfying. "Anyway, here's what I'm thinking. Since the war with Jotunheim is canceled, maybe we bring him back from exile and let him clean up the rest himself?"
"You cannot make him King," Frigga sighed. "Not after he was stripped of his power and exiled to Midgard."
"But I can make him the King's Viceroy in Asgard! And the fact that he has no powers is wonderful, he'll finally have to think with his head instead of his hammer!"
"You planned this from the very beginning, didn't you?" Odin's wife asked suspiciously.
"No, from the very beginning I was wondering whether I should order a classic mojito or try the strawberry one," I deflected with practiced ease. "By the way, how are my guests doing? I feel a bit awkward, I invited them here and then abandoned them to deal with my affairs."
Yes, I was blatantly changing the subject. But judging by everything, Frigga liked this topic, so she eagerly switched over, raising no objections to my plan to exploit Thor.
"Don't worry, they found things to do very quickly. Lady Sarah took an interest in the healers' work and gladly listens to my explanations. And Lady Yuriko hit it off with the Einherjar. Once they learned you took her on as your bodyguard, they eagerly offered her sparring matches to test her valor." The goddess's eyes gleamed.
"And how did it go?" I was curious.
"At first, when they learned she isn't even a century old, they were skeptical. But her combat skill, combined with indestructible bones, the ability to heal wounds almost instantly, and a lack of fatigue, forced them to change their minds. She is physically weaker than any Aesir and doesn't wield noble weapons, but even so, she managed to put many of them on their backs in the dust and force them to yield."
Weeell, Yuriko isn't wasting any time. Actually, it's an interesting idea... Gear her up in the "latest fashion", the resources certainly allow for it, and she really will stand on par with even the best Aesir.
True, just like when we first met, the question arose: why do I even need this?
No, a pretty and loyal assistant is always handy, of course, but a thousand years of being a lone wolf leaves its mark; I didn't see any immediate application for her talents, but... she'll be useful to have around.
After chatting with Frigga about Asgardian news for another half hour or so, I decided not to drag this out any longer and go get Thor. So, at dawn, I headed to the Guardian of the Rainbow Bridge.
"Hey, Heimdall." I looked over the very, very sad Afro-Asgardian. "You're not looking so good."
"Greetings, my King," he tried to portray impassivity, but he was doing a mediocre job. "Everything is fine." He cast a sideways glance at the Destroyer, which was currently pretending to be an ordinary statue.
"Perfectly fine. Your decree regarding the recording of the worlds belonging to the Titan Thanos is being executed."
….
If you want to read ahead by 20+ chapters from here you can visit my Patre-on.
[P] [A] [T] [R] [E] [O] [N]
[email protected]/Yggdrasil_Loki