Here is the revised passage, polished and expanded while keeping your tone, pacing, and narrative fully intact.
Execution Streak — 699.
The number floated in the corner of his awareness like something that had stopped being real some time ago and was now simply a fact he was moving through rather than processing. Without him noticing the climb — without any single moment where the count had felt significant enough to pause for — the DeathWill aura bonus had pushed to nearly seven hundred percent.
Seven hundred percent.
If that number had arrived before the evolution began, before his body had started its brutal, forced restructuring, the outcome would have been simple and final. The bonus would have had nowhere to go. The body it was trying to empower would have folded inward under the pressure and turned itself into something that wasn't a body anymore.
But that body no longer existed.
