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Kakashi arrived at Qianyu's house with the ingredients for Kushina Uzumaki's dinner, only to freeze in the doorway.
Kushina was hunched over, gagging.
He rushed to her side. "Master's Wife! What's wrong? Are you sick?"
Kushina straightened up, taking a shaky breath. "Not sick, I don't think. Just… these random waves of nausea. It's probably nothing."
"It's not nothing." Kakashi's voice was firm. "We're going to the ninja hospital. Now."
Kushina offered a weak smile. "Kakashi, really, I'm fine. I just need to rest."
Kakashi shook his head, his single visible eye serious. "Master is away. My duty is to look after you. We're going."
Kushina's eyes narrowed. Her hands balled into fists. "Since when do you give me orders?!"
Thump-thump-thump!
Her knuckles drilled into the top of his head. Kakashi's vision swam. He was pretty sure his brain was turning to mush.
Then, just as suddenly, the assault stopped. A gentle hand ruffled his silver hair. Kushina's smile was soft, almost wistful. "Look at you. All grown up." She sighed in mock defeat. "Alright, alright. Take me to the hospital, then."
At the hospital entrance, they ran into Miyuki Uzumaki and Minato Namikaze.
"Kushina!" Miyuki waved.
"Miyuki!" Kushina hurried over, concern etching her features. "Are you feeling unwell?"
Miyuki's hand drifted to her stomach. A radiant, utterly peaceful smile spread across her face. "Not unwell. Quite the opposite. I'm going to be a mother, Kushina."
Kushina's jaw dropped. "A mother… you mean… you're pregnant?"
The smile on Miyuki's face was unstoppable. "Yes. Two months along."
Kushina stared, captivated by the pure, maternal glow surrounding her friend. A pang of something deep and wistful shot through her. "Wow… congratulations, Miyuki!"
"Thank you." Miyuki's gaze turned curious. "But what brings you here?"
"Oh, this?" Kushina waved a hand vaguely. "Just some nausea lately. Kakashi insisted on a check-up."
Miyuki and Minato exchanged a look. A very specific, knowing look.
Miyuki's expression turned carefully neutral. "Kushina… when did the nausea start?"
"Um… not long after Qianyu left, I think?"
"Any loss of appetite? Feeling more tired than usual? Suddenly hating the smell of greasy food? Craving sour things?"
Kushina blinked, astonished. "How did you know all that?"
A mysterious, almost mischievous smile played on Miyuki's lips. "I think I'll let the doctor explain. I'll come visit you tomorrow, alright?" She gave Kushina a quick hug. "We should get going. Take care!"
Minato offered Kushina a warm, gentle smile. "Congratulations."
Then they were gone, leaving Kushina standing on the steps, utterly bewildered. "What was that about?"
Beside her, Kakashi was staring at the ground, brow furrowed. He'd been replaying the conversation. Miyuki's knowing questions. Minato's clear, deliberate 'congratulations.'
His head snapped up. His visible eye widened in dawning, impossible comprehension as he stared at Kushina.
Kushina, already confused, saw his shocked expression and bristled. "Not you too! What's with that face?!"
Kakashi snapped back to attention. "Nothing! Let's… let's just get you checked, Master's Wife."
Inside the sterile halls of the ninja hospital, Kushina muttered to herself as they walked. "Miyuki's pregnant… That Qianyu, what's he doing? I'll have to have a serious talk with him when he gets back…"
Walking behind her, Kakashi pressed his lips into a thin line. Master… I don't think a talk will be necessary.
The examination was swift.
Afterward, Kushina stood in the hallway, clutching a piece of paper. Her brain had short-circuited. "Is… is this real?" she asked the harried-looking medic for the seventh time. "I'm really pregnant?"
The medic-nin sighed, patience worn thin. "Yes. A little over a month. It's real. Please, I have other patients."
Kushina opened her mouth for question number eight. Kakashi swiftly stepped in, taking her elbow. "Master's Wife. Let's go home."
"Ah? Oh."
The walk home passed in a daze. Kushina floated along, unaware of streets or people, the paper a sacred talisman in her hand. Kakashi, in stark contrast, was a wire pulled taut. Every shadow, every passerby was a potential threat. His hand never left the hilt of his tantō. Anyone. Try anything.
Thankfully, the journey was uneventful.
Back at the house, Kushina collapsed onto the sofa, staring at the confirmation of pregnancy. A slow, goofy grin spread across her face.
"Heh… Qianyu's gonna be so surprised… Wait, I'm pregnant now. I can't just eat anything… Oh! Miyuki's visiting tomorrow! We can talk about pregnancy diets!"
"Master's Wife."
Kushina didn't hear him. She was in her own world of soft blankets and tiny clothes.
"Master's Wife!"
Kushina finally looked up, her eyes glazed with joy. "Oh! Kakashi! You're here! Did you know? I'm pregnant! Hehehe…"
Kakashi's eye twitched. Of course I'm here. I just walked you home from the hospital you forced me to take you to.
He took a steadying breath. "Master's Wife, please rest here. I'm going to fetch Lord Orochimaru."
He took two steps toward the door, stopped, hesitated, then formed a hand seal. Poof. An identical Kakashi appeared, giving a curt nod before taking a guard position by the entrance. Only then did the original Kakashi vanish in a flicker of speed.
He arrived at Orochimaru's lab without hindrance.
"Lord Orochimaru!"
The Sannin turned from a complex array of glass tubes, a pale eyebrow rising. "Kakashi? Is there an issue with the Leaf Village Defense Force?"
"No, my lord. It's Master's Wife. She just… she's been confirmed pregnant. I was hoping you could perform a more thorough examination for her."
Orochimaru's golden eyes gleamed with interest. "Kushina? I see. Give me a moment to prepare." He moved with swift, efficient grace, gathering specialized instruments into a case. "Lead the way."
Back at the house, Kushina looked up, surprised, as Orochimaru entered. "Lord Orochimaru? What brings you here?"
Kakashi sighed, the weight of the day settling on his small shoulders. "Master's Wife, I told you. I went to get him."
Kushina tilted her head, thinking hard. "Did you?"
A profound sense of helplessness washed over Kakashi. Does pregnancy cause immediate memory loss? Is that a thing?
Orochimaru set his case down with a soft click, cutting off the strange domestic scene. "Enough. Kakashi informs me of your condition, Kushina. Let us ensure everything is as it should be."
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