Chapter 2 – A God Needs a Hobby
I was in a new world.
Technically, I should have been excited.
New world.
Magic.
Monsters.
Dungeons.
Godlike powers.
The whole package.
The problem?
This world had no video games.
I stared at the horizon.
"How boring."
By now, I had figured out that I really was some kind of god.
I could create things.
I could teleport.
I could change my physical abilities.
I could probably even turn a mountain into a duck if I thought about it long enough.
But what was I supposed to do with all that power?
What was the point?
The people here saved each other.
Heroes defeated monsters.
Mages threw fireballs.
Kings started wars.
Everything was completely normal.
Except for one thing.
Nobody played video games.
That was not normal.
That was a disaster.
I lay down in the sand on my tropical island.
Thirty degrees Celsius.
Blue sky.
Palm trees.
The ocean right outside my front door.
Honestly, it was perfect.
Exactly how I had always dreamed of living.
Except something was missing.
I sighed.
"I need a console."
I sat up.
Then I had an idea.
Not just any console.
A real console.
With games.
With controllers.
With a whole library of worlds where people could waste hundreds of hours of their lives.
And, of course, I would release the most important game first.
Pokémon.
I grinned.
"I'm going to create Pokémon."
I paused.
"Wait."
I had absolutely no idea how to build a video game console.
So I needed people.
Smart people.
Very smart people.
Geniuses would be ideal.
And where could you find geniuses?
"In dungeons."
Why?
I had no idea.
But in every decent fantasy world, dungeons seemed to contain either valuable treasures or people who were eventually eaten by demons.
So I stood up.
I teleported to the nearest dungeon.
The dungeon was called The Depths of Kar-Mor.
Twenty-three floors.
Undead.
Orcs.
Mages.
A gigantic minotaur.
And a final boss who, according to an inscription, had killed at least seven heroes.
I was back outside eight minutes later.
The minotaur had tried to trample me.
I accidentally pushed it into a wall with one finger.
The final boss had started preparing a powerful spell.
I asked him if he was finished.
Then he was finished.
He no longer existed.
I collected the loot.
Gold.
Magic crystals.
A sword that was supposedly capable of destroying entire armies.
I sold everything.
Including the sword.
It brought in surprisingly good money.
Back on my island, I sat down at a table.
Then I wrote a recruitment notice.
GENIUSES WANTED
Seeking intelligent individuals with knowledge of magic, mechanics, alchemy, or related fields.
Task: Develop a revolutionary entertainment device.
Payment: Excellent.
Workplace: Tropical island.
Temperature: Permanently 30°C.
Free food.
No wars.
No monsters.
No working hours before noon.
I looked at the notice.
"Perfect."
I thought for a moment.
Then I wrote underneath it:
Project Name: Nintendo.
I said the word out loud.
"N-N-Nintendo."
I nodded approvingly.
"Sounds powerful."
Of course, I had absolutely no idea how the device was supposed to work.
But that wasn't my problem.
I was a god.
I just needed people to figure out how it worked for me.
A few hours later, the first applicants arrived at my door.
An old mage.
A young alchemist.
A dwarf who claimed he could build absolutely anything.
And a man who introduced himself as a "technical genius."
I looked at them.
"You are going to build a machine that can display pictures on a screen."
They stared at me.
"What is a screen?"
"The thing I just told you to build."
"And what is a machine?"
"You're going to figure that out."
Silence.
The dwarf slowly raised his hand.
"And what exactly are we supposed to do with it?"
I smiled.
"Games."
"What games?"
I stood up.
A divine portal opened behind me.
Inside it appeared an image.
A small red creature with flames burning at the end of its tail.
The applicants stared at it.
"This," I said,
"will be Pokémon."
I sat back down.
"Now build me a console."
I leaned back.
Finally, I had something to do.
I was going to create an entire entertainment industry.
I was going to bring video games into this world.
I was going to release Pokémon.
And after that, I would lie down on my island.
Thirty degrees.
Ocean.
Palm trees.
Peace and quiet.
I closed my eyes with a satisfied smile.
"What could possibly go wrong?"
At that exact moment, my workshop exploded.
I opened one eye.
"Oh, right."
I had hired geniuses.
This might take a while.