Chapter Summary: Turns out that repressing your traumas is not healthy. Who could have thought?
-------------------------------------------
"My, you seemed quite distraught, Sunless."
Sunny's expression shifted almost instantly, settling into something easygoing and faintly amused as though whatever had just happened had been nothing more than a minor inconvenience rather than the unravelling of several deeply personal truths shouted at him by a monster wearing his own face.
At the same time, his shadow sense surged outward on instinct.
Beyond the Stormsea's endless curtains of rain and roaring wind, he still felt it, Ki Song's shadow, or rather that of the vessel she wore, perched with unnerving stillness atop a tree in the Ivory Tower, still watching, still unmoving, still very much there.
Sunny went very still for half a heartbeat, then, inwardly, he groaned.
Ki Song had been testing him all along.
That infuriating game of peek-a-boo she had been playing with him had always been meant for this. A deliberate probing of the limits of his perception, a slow and careful mapping of how his shadow sense reacted until she could learn to fool it. In the end, she had succeeded, using her Will to keep her shadow in place while her vessel moved.
He exhaled through his nose, resisting the urge to let any of that frustration reach his face.
For years, his shadow sense had been the one thing he treated as close to certainty in a world that refused to offer any. Reliable, precise, and almost omniscient within its domain. Somewhere along the way, he had begun treating it less like a tool and more like a law of reality itself.
Reality, apparently, had found that assumption amusing.
He appreciated the lesson very much. He wouldn't be caught unaware twice.
None of his thoughts reached his expression, which remained composed as he inclined his head politely toward the massive raven suspended in the air before him.
"Clan Head."
The bird tilted its right head in response, dark eyes gleaming with unmistakable amusement, as though it had been waiting for exactly those two words.
"How cold," Ki Song said lightly. "Am I not your mother?"
A short chuckle escaped Sunny before he could stop it, though internally he lampooned.
Of all the habits powerful people seemed to share, this insistence on casually assigning themselves familial roles in his life was rapidly becoming one of the more irritating ones.
Weaver, Fate, Eirene, Shadow, Oblivion. And now Ki Song, too.
At this point, Anvil would probably appear tomorrow, claiming to be his long-lost uncle and expecting it to be accepted as a matter of fact. For the nth time, Sunny wondered when his life had become so weird.
"Legally?" Sunny replied at last, tone light. "Yes."
It was still weird to think about it, at times. He, the outskirt rat, was now a legacy. Scratch that, he was a legacy among legacies, being the heir of a great Clan and all.
Caster had to be turning in his grave.
Sunny allowed the faint amusement born from that thought to linger for a moment longer before he continued.
"However," he added more quietly, "in my heart there is only one, and she's long gone."
For a brief moment, Ki Song did not respond.
The raven's enormous form shifted subtly against the storm, feathers rippling under the relentless rain, and although Sunny could not read her emotions properly in her current, bestial form, he was almost certain that he detected a trace of wistfulness in her beady eyes.
"And I will never attempt to steal her place," she answered soothingly.
Thunder rolled heavily overhead, long and distant, as the wind tore through the Stormsea without mercy before she chose to speak again.
"You never answered."
Sunny rubbed the back of his neck, hiding his true thoughts before the bashful gesture.
Of course, she didn't want to let go. He wouldn't, after all.
"It was nothing I haven't dealt with before," he said, carefully casual.
"That only sounds more concerning," Ki Song replied immediately, without even the courtesy of hesitation.
Sunny suppressed a sigh. Of course, Ki Song had heard it all; he had little doubt about it.
What a damn mess.
In retrospect, he really should have been faster.
Preferably fast enough to prevent the Corrupted Devil from airing all of his darkest thoughts where a Supreme could hear them.
Ki Song glided closer, the massive raven leaning down slightly until both of her heads were studying him from a distance that was, unreasonable for something that large.
Sunny noted distantly that the sight should have been terrifying.
A two-headed gigantic raven hovering in a storm-laden sky and staring directly into one's soul was, by most reasonable standards, an immediate cause for fear.
Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on who you asked, Sunny's sense of "reasonable standards" had been permanently damaged by prolonged exposure to Nightmare Creatures, unreasonably powerful beings, and Nephis.
Instead of fear, he mostly felt tired.
"Are you well, Sunless?" she asked softly.
Her voice was perfect. Warm. Gentle, maternal, even.
It was almost impressive, just how convincing it was. Were he less cynical, he might have fallen for it, hook, line, and sinker.
"As well as I can be," Sunny answered stiffly.
"Which means that you are not," Ki Song observed.
He did not respond.
Rain continued to fall in heavy sheets around them, thunder rolling like a distant judgment across the Stormsea.
"There is help out there," Ki Song continued in the same calm, reassuring tone. "You do not have to face your demons alone."
Sunny almost snorted at that particular combination of words. Like he would fall so easily in that particular trap.
Therapy remained firmly in the top tier of things he refused to engage with.
Shortly after he returned from the Third Nightmare, they had advised it, too. Nephis, Effie, Kai, some of the Firekeepers, and even Jet in their conversation at the Outskirts. They had all attempted -with varying levels of patience and bluntness- to push him toward exactly that kind of "help."
He had declined very firmly and repeatedly.
The idea of someone digging through his mind, cataloguing everything he had tried so carefully to keep contained, and then offering polite conclusions about it as though it were a solvable puzzle had never been remotely appealing.
Besides, he was managing perfectly well on his own and did not need anyone's help.
Ki Song's version of that "help" sounded even worse. Every word he uttered would reach her ears long before he was even done saying it.
"I'm fine," Sunny said instead, keeping his voice carefully polite.
"I understand," Ki Song replied gently, "Just know that I am here if you need anything."
Sunny almost laughed out loud.
Her manipulation attempts were so overtly visible that they couldn't be anything but purposeful. Nobody reached Ki Song's position without understanding how to arrange her words in a way that got her what she wanted. Which only meant that there was a ploy being played here.
The question became what kind.
Was she making these manipulation attempts so blatantly in the hopes that he would miss the more subtle ones? Lower his guard by making him think that she wasn't a good manipulator? Just for fun?
Sunny considered it briefly, then decided that the most likely answer was that all of them played a part.
"Does little Nephie know?" Ki Song asked next, almost casually. "About the burden you carry."
Involuntarily, Sunny's eyes drifted once more, toward the distant direction of the Ivory Tower.
The storm wall still blocked his sight, but he could easily tell the direction. His eyes kept moving toward where his original body rested beside her.
Does she know?
The thought almost made him laugh. She was the one responsible for most of it!
"She does," he replied in a carefully even voice.
A faint, disappointed sound came from Ki Song. "Then she's not doing enough."
Realisation settled right at that moment, about what Ki Song was trying to do.
She was probing him, looking for weaknesses, trying to find the pressure points in his relationship with Nephis. Probably even attempting to sow a seed of discord between the two of them to better control them.
Ki Song would employ carefully worded sentences, idle comments that carried profound implications, accusations hidden behind concern, all meant to break them apart little by little. Sunny almost laughed.
A seed of discord? What was such a thing before the whole forest that was planted in the darkest recesses of his mind?
She probably expected him to realise this, too. It was even expected. After all, such a thing couldn't be achieved in a single conversation; no, Ki Song was more insidious than that.
This was just the first attempt of many.
Eventually, the conversation wound down, their words growing quieter against the backdrop of the never-ending storm.
When it did, they began to move back toward the Ivory Tower, gliding their way toward the Floating Island.
A flicker caught his attention.
Far away, a golden light briefly pierced the darkness, just like it had done minutes before.
It vanished almost as soon as it appeared, making him unable to glean more details, as it had done minutes before, too. Sunny slowed slightly, his eyes narrowing in thought.
They really needed to change course.
-------------------------------------------
Sunny woke slowly to the distant sound of rain, the steady rhythm of it pitter-patting against the shattered lake before him.
For a few short seconds, he simply lay still beneath the shadowed gazebo, mind caught in that sluggish, weightless space between sleep and awareness where even his thoughts refused to fully commit to being problems yet.
Then, inevitably, he felt it, the weight resting against his shoulder.
Nephis was still asleep beside him.
A long, silent sigh escaped through his nose before he closed his eyes again, as though that single gesture alone might somehow undo the series of increasingly questionable decisions that had led to this exact moment.
He should have stopped it. Preferably, before he found himself in such a conflicting situation. A treacherous part of him wanted to remain right where he was, while the other wanted nothing more than to leave and never be seen again.
In the end, the treacherous part won, and Sunny remained completely still, painfully aware of the warmth pressed against his side and the slow, steady rhythm of her breathing, which felt far too calm for someone who had spent most of her existence behaving like a sharpened blade given human form.
Idly, he observed that she looked… different like this.
Nephis almost always carried herself with the same controlled composure, her expression so precise and restrained that people often mistook it for a complete lack of emotion. Even in rest, there was usually a faint tension beneath her features, as though some part of her refused to accept that lowering her guard was ever truly safe.
Right here and now, she looked… comfortable. Content.
Sunny frowned slightly when he noticed something else. She was drooling slightly. It was one of the most adorable things he had ever seen, if not the most.
That thought alone made him reconsider several of his life choices in rapid succession.
A faint sense of nostalgia followed shortly after, uninvited and persistent.
Involuntarily, Sunny's thoughts drifted back to the Forgotten Shore.
Back to Nephis telling him the story of Sisyphus on a quiet night, her voice calm and steady despite how clearly exhausted she was. He remembered listening without fully understanding, more focused on her and her progressively less convincing attempts at pretending not to be falling asleep, than on the meaning of the myth itself.
And then, at some point in the middle of it, she had simply fallen asleep against him.
So many things had happened since then.
Everything had changed in ways he still did not fully know how to explain. He had changed. Nephis had changed, too, in her own way. Even the world had changed, in dark and horrifying ways. And yet, despite all of it, here they were again.
Sunny stared at the rain beyond the gazebo, letting the sound fill the spaces between his thoughts.
Sisyphus.
Gods, he understood that man far too well for his own comfort.
The scenario and the circumstances were different, but in the end, the result was the same. The weight resting on his shoulder was the same. And he felt even more conflicted than he had felt back then.
Sunny let out a quiet, humourless laugh at that thought.
If he were Sisyphus, then what was his boulder?
And where, precisely, was the mountain whose peak he had to bring it to?
The thought lingered as the rain continued to fall relentlessly beyond the shelter of the gazebo, filling ever so slowly the shattered lake.
Beside him, Nephis shifted slightly in her sleep, unconsciously leaning a little more into his shoulder, searching for a more comfortable position.
Sunny did not move, and after a moment, he closed his eyes again.
Just for a little while, he told himself.
Just until the world became less exhausting.
And soon enough, still thinking about mountains that refused to end and burdens that refused to disappear, Sunny drifted back into sleep.
-------------------------------------------
Nephis woke slowly.
For a few quiet moments, she remained suspended between sleep and wakefulness, her mind drifting in a heavy, distant calm as the steady patter of rain filled the world beyond the shadows.
She had not slept this well in a very long time, she thought.
Nephis could feel something warm against her side. Its presence steady and comforting in a way that few things had ever been.
She frowned faintly, still half-lost in sleep. Before she could consider allowing herself to fall asleep once more, a flash of lightning split the sky, followed almost immediately by a thunderclap that cut through the haze in her mind with brutal clarity.
The sudden brightness stabbed at her eyelids, making her grimace at the sudden assault.
Reluctantly, she opened her eyes and looked around. The gazebo still stood, sheltering her from the endless storm. Piece by piece, her thoughts assembled themselves.
The meeting. The aftermath. The exhaustion that had finally caught up with her. Then…
Sunny.
Sitting beside him.
His hand took hers and then…
She was resting against something warm, close, familiar. Her eyes widened slightly as awareness fully returned. She was leaning against Sunny, her head still resting on his shoulder.
A faint heat rose to her cheeks almost immediately.
Reluctantly -perhaps a little too reluctantly- she lifted her head and turned to see that he was already awake.
Or had only just woken; the fatigue still clung to him so heavily that the difference hardly mattered. His posture was loose, but there was a quiet tension beneath it as he stared into the distance.
"Sleep well?" he asked softly without turning.
The warmth on her face deepened slightly.
"Yes," Nephis answered. After a brief pause, she added, "You?"
Sunny remained silent for a few seconds, as though he did not want to acknowledge the question.
Eventually, almost reluctantly, he replied with a quiet "Yes."
A faint, involuntary smile touched Nephis' lips.
She straightened, brushing damp strands of pale hair away from her face as she regained her composure.
"How long have I been asleep?"
"Just a few hours." He replied, still not looking at her.
Nephis nodded, her mind already churning.
It was not enough. Not nearly enough, but she would have to do.
There was too much left to do to allow herself more rest. The debris wasn't completely cleaned up yet; they had to check if their supplies had been damaged, revise their route through the Stormsea just in case Valor had predicted it, too, as well as a thousand other little things that had to be handled.
Among them, there was one she dreaded the most. The dead had been gathered, and she would deliver them back to the Waking World, where they would receive proper burial.
The dead, that thought lingered more heavily than the others in her mind.
All of them had put their trust in her. Their hopes and dreams. And she had failed them.
It was a bitter pill to swallow; once more, she found herself leading a group through a desperate battle, and once more, people whom she had promised a better future to had died.
She hated it. She hated it. She hated it.
The others had tried to lessen the impact, told her that she had done all she could, that given the circumstances, they had come out lightly. Nephis did not care for words like those.
She had failed. Simple and plain.
She fell under the grasp of one of the Ghouls due to her own shortcomings and then failed to protect her followers and friends despite knowing that danger was coming.
It was bitter, terribly bitter.
At times like this, she wondered if she was strong enough. If her will was enough. If she was enough.
Even with Sunny's aid, she had failed to defeat Anvil. Failed to do anything but lightly injure him. Even worse, Sunny had paid a terrible price for it.
Involuntarily, her gaze drifted toward the shadows near Sunny's feet.
A few of them lingered there; the rest, likely still guarding the perimeter. They gazed upon their owner somberly, even the more eccentric of them seeming downcast. They were grieving for their lost sibling, she realised.
Nephis could understand. She had grieved the death of those who were close to her far too many times not to recognise the sentiment.
Her chest tightened faintly.
Sunny had only been there because of her. Only fought Anvil because of her. Only positioned himself against a Supreme because-
"Shut up."
The words cut cleanly through her thoughts.
Nephis blinked and turned toward him.
Sunny was not looking at her. His gaze remained fixed on the storm beyond the gazebo, but there was something sharp and worn in his expression, as though he had already heard every thought she had not spoken.
"I didn't say anything," she replied quietly.
"You are thinking too loudly." He replied without a hint of irony.
For a long moment, she did not know what to say.
"What do you think I'm thinking?" She asked in the end.
Sunny finally turned. Looking at him up close, Nephis could tell just how exhausted he still was; however, his gaze was as sharp as ever.
"You are blaming yourself for Haughty's death."
Nephis did not look away, meeting the quiet words and the accusation behind them upfront.
For a moment, she said nothing, and then she nodded. "I am."
Sunny exhaled through his nose, closing his eyes with a mix of frustration and resignation playing on his face.
"It has always irritated me," he said a second later.
Her brows tightened faintly. "What do you mean?"
"You think the world revolves around you."
Before she could respond, he continued, voice sharpening.
"I was aware of the risks. I knew what I was stepping into. I still chose to stand by you, at least until I figured out what the Spell was going on inside my own head." His jaw tightened. "I chose, Neph. I. Chose. Me. Not you."
There was something raw beneath his words. "So don't you dare reduce it to your responsibility alone."
"I…"
"Does your life revolve around mine?" he interrupted.
Nephis stopped long enough to think it carefully before answering. "No."
Sunny gave a short, humourless snort. "Then stop acting like mine revolves around yours."
Silence settled between them, filled only by the distant roar of the Stormsea.
After a moment, Nephis inclined her head. "Very well."
Sunny glanced at her, one brow lifting faintly. "That easy?"
"Yes," she said simply. "It is wrong of me to think like that. I shall do my best to correct it."
"I'll believe it when I see it."
She nodded once more and said nothing further.
For a short yet paradoxically long time, they simply sat together beneath the gazebo, watching the storm churn across the dark horizon.
Eventually, Nephis spoke again.
"What would you like to do," she asked quietly, "once this journey is over?"
Sunny turned his head slightly toward her, a question written on his face.
"You asked me not to act as if your life revolves around me, so I'm asking. What is it that you would like to do?"
"I would like to do many things," he admitted after a pause. "If I had to choose one…"
He leaned back, pondering the question. A part of her couldn't avoid the feeling that he was hiding something.
"I guess I would like to buy a house of my own," Sunny answered a little later.
Nephis blinked, confused for a moment before understanding hit her. "You are not comfortable in my manor."
"It's not mine," he replied immediately. "Besides," he added, "it is too large. Too… ostentatious. I would prefer something simpler. Two floors at most. Quiet neighborhood. Somewhere close to Rain's house, if possible."
She understood. She really did. He wanted a place that he could call his own. Something to call his and his alone. It did not stop her from feeling saddened.
A faint, bitter smile tugged at his lips. "You all needed me around at first. To protect you. But now…" he shrugged. "You don't anymore." The smile widened, bitter and filled with irony. "You are more than strong enough to do it on your own."
"Sunny—"
He shook his head before she could continue.
"I have already decided." Then he looked at her directly, a challenge clear in his eyes. "Unless you want to say something?"
Nephis held his gaze for a moment, then nodded. "Would you like help finding it? I have contacts who could assist."
He thought about it for a moment before giving a faint, noncommittal shrug.
"Maybe. We can talk about it later." A tired exhale followed. "There is too much to do right now to waste any more time on this."
Nephis nodded, accepting without complaint that he did not want to speak any more.
They stood at the same time, and only then did she notice it. Their hands were still joined, fingers intertwined as though they did not want to let go.
Sunny looked down briefly, his grip growing slack the moment he recognised the continued contact. Without saying a word, he let go, turned, and walked away through the rain and darkness without looking back.
Nephis remained still beneath the gazebo, watching him go.
Then her gaze shifted toward the silhouette of the Ivory Tower, the storm beyond it, and the long list of things that still needed to be done.
A sigh escaped her. Maybe she wasn't enough, but for the sake of everyone who depended on her, she had to be.
-------------------------------------------
Days later, Nephis was high in the sky, battling against a Nightmare Creature.
The creature let out a choked, fractured cry as its massive wings were cut apart by her sword. She continued mercilessly, punching with her free hand to send it crashing down. The ocean met it with a violent burst of water , swallowing the impact whole as waves erupted outward beneath the unending rain.
[You have slain a Fallen Devil, Nestling of Zephiras.]
[Your soul shines brighter.]
Nephis did not stop; her blade was already moving toward the next opponent.
A second shadow descended from above, cutting through the storm with predatory speed. She adjusted mid-air and met it head-on, her strike clean and economical as steel met flesh and sent it spiralling into the dark waters below.
Another followed immediately.
Then another.
They were the same kind Sunny had described before, avian Nightmare Creatures that moved in swarms, each individual acting as if their survival had no consequence as long as they brought down their enemy with them.
Nephis shifted her posture in the air, essence reinforcing her body as she drove the next attacker back with a precise strike. A thought made fire explode around her, swallowing dozens whole.
And yet, the resistance kept increasing.
Five days, that was how long it had been since they entered the Stormsea.
The deeper they advanced, the stronger the flock became. What had begun as scattered flocks had become an endless wave of them, assaulting the Ivory Tower with relentless fury, and ever-growing numbers and strength.
If that trend continued, they would need Ki Song to intervene. Neither Sunny nor she was inexhaustible, and the others, strong as they were, couldn't contend with flocks of Corrupted creatures.
Nephis accepted the fact, even if she did not like it. She had allowed her pride to lead her far more than was acceptable already. She still hated it with all of her being, though.
As the fight continued, she started to notice a shift in the behaviour of her opponents, but before she could ascertain the source of the change, she felt it.
There was a presence at the edge of the battle, lingering there yet more noticeable with every passing heartbeat.
Before her wary eyes, the flock started flying away, retreating where the presence only grew closer.
At first glance, it was indistinguishable from the rest, another avian Nightmare Creature, as ugly and monstrous as its siblings. Even more, perhaps, given how its head kept changing.
The Corrupted Devil tilted the thing it had for a head, and then it began to change.
A moment later, its features started settling, long silver hair grew, and a pair of eyes shaped themselves on a face that was more and more familiar with each breath.
The creature opened its eyes, its colour chillingly close to that of her own. Its expression changed next, composed and stone-like in a replica of hers. It only lasted for a second before it changed again, and the abomination smiled mockingly.
Nephis' grip on her sword grew tighter at the sight, the names of fire and destruction already on the tip of her tongue.
It glided forward in wings of pure white flame and spoke, its voice soft, almost intimate.
"The only thing you know to do is bring ruin to those around you."