Nephis walked silently through the corridors of her manor.
When she encountered others, she gave a polite nod and continued walking. It only took them a glance at what she was holding for them to get the hint and not hold her with idle chatter.
Every step drew her closer and closer to her destination, and while she was intellectually aware that no such thing was happening, she couldn't avoid feeling like the world was becoming colder with every meter she advanced. It also felt darker, more muted, as if she were stepping into a frozen hell instead of a perfectly normal room.
She gripped the handle of the door and opened it calmly. There was no need to hurry, not with whom she was visiting. Nephis stepped inside the room, finding it exactly as she expected.
It was spacious, well-lit by the sunlight peeking through the curtain-covered windows of reinforced glass. The walls were painted a soft green, and the decoration was light, just enough to stop it from feeling empty and eerie. Little could be found in terms of furniture: nothing but a bed, a table, a wardrobe, and a set of chairs for visitors and the medical staff.
The only occupant in the room besides herself was an incredibly beautiful black-haired woman. She sat in a wheelchair facing the windows, staring ahead blankly. Her eyes were dead to the world, as if there were nothing behind them.
Nephis stepped beside her and placed a vase with fresh orchids on the table. They were her favorite, according to Grandmother. Also, according to her, Father had bought whole flower shops' worth of them in an attempt to woo the person beside her.
It was as foolish as it was endearing, according to Grandmother. What need did she have for more, after all?
Once upon a time, the manor had grown its own, meticulously groomed and cared for by the many retainers employed by her clan back in its heyday. That time, like many other things, was long gone.
She did not speak for a long time, choosing instead to match the other woman and simply stare at the window. The world revealed itself through the translucent curtains. The sight was that of the garden, where the others were having fun, unwilling to miss the chance to enjoy the last period of peace they would have before the grand quest they were about to embark on.
"Hi, Mom," Nephis whispered at last.
The other woman did not answer. Her hollow gaze remained directed unerringly ahead.
"I'm sorry for not visiting you lately."
Nephis brought a chair closer and sat down beside her mother, ignoring the phantom feeling of cold she sensed emanating from her. It was all in her head; she knew that perfectly. A remnant of her childhood, back when she had thought of the woman sitting beside her as nothing but the hollow vessel of someone who had once been great.
She could remember the many times Grandmother had chided her for that thought.
"She's still your mother!" she used to say. "Just because her spirit is gone doesn't mean that she's dead."
It had taken Nephis a long time to realize that the only person Grandmother had been trying to convince was herself.
"A lot has happened in the last few weeks."
Nephis grabbed one of her mother's hands and, upon seeing the length of her nails, summoned the [Mordant Mimic]. From inside the coffer, she retrieved a nail clipper made for Masters.
"Clan Valor attacked us." She clipped the first nail carefully. "I don't like to admit it, but I would have died that day. I was fighting Uncle Mady, although you might only remember him as Uncle Vale's older brother. I would like to think that I did well, but I know that in the end, I would have lost."
Another nail was cut down.
"The situation was hopeless. The Valor force was too numerous and too strong, far more than us. Even if we had managed to win somehow, there was still the Gate left to contend with." She smiled wistfully. "And then he arrived. Like a knight in shining armor straight out of one of Grandmother's tales." Her cheeks reddened. "Although he was lacking the armor… or clothes."
She finished with her left hand and moved to the right.
"An insurmountable challenge, defeated just like that." She paused her ministrations only long enough to shake her head. "If I'm honest, it made me feel a little self-conscious. Here I was, full of pride, convinced that he would stay there however long it took me to rescue him. Instead, as usual, he surpassed all my expectations."
Nephis kept smiling even as she finished with her right hand.
"Clan Song attacked next, not with weapons, but with words." She retrieved a polisher from the coffer. "Ki Song herself came, acting like she had done nothing wrong. Like she was nothing but a concerned aunt. Like she truly had my best interests in mind."
She stopped to take a deep breath when she noticed the increased temperature in the room. Without conscious thought, her flames had answered her wrath.
"That… thing made us an offer." She paused, her teeth clenched painfully. "He accepted. I accepted." Her smile turned sardonic. "I'm the official heiress of Clan Song now. A princess."
Nephis tilted her head in thought, still working on her mother's hands.
"I wonder if Effie will come up with a new nickname now." Shaking the thought away, Nephis resumed her ministrations. "The Immortal Flame has officially surrendered to Song. Grandmother and Grandfather must be turning in their graves."
With a conscious effort of will, Nephis reined in the fire threatening to erupt from her once again.
"In a few days, when Sunny arrives at the Chained Isles, we will begin the trek toward Ravenheart." She sighed heavily. "I'm sorry for doing this again, but I might not be able to visit you until the journey is done."
She kept talking as she worked, performing dozens of other small tasks to ensure her mother's well-being.
Usually, these tasks would be performed by the medical team she had on staff. She had fired that very same team recently, having discovered they leaked information to the Valor force that had attacked them.
Nephis was looking for another, but had yet to find one that seemed trustworthy enough. Ki Song had graciously offered her help on the matter, but Nephis had politely yet firmly refused.
Time passed swiftly as she busied herself with every task she could find, and many others that weren't even necessary. An hour after entering the room, she found herself with nothing else to do.
Her hand found her mother's, and she squeezed softly, hoping -despite knowing better- to feel something. Anything to tell her that there was still something there, that there was a living being instead of a Hollow. She found none.
"I'm afraid," she confessed in a low whisper. "The future has never felt as uncertain as it does now."
Silence was her only answer.
"I will have to bow my head to Father's murderer. Pretend that nothing is wrong. Tolerate all the petty squabbles and power plays that are sure to await me in Ravenheart." Nephis squeezed once more. "I don't know what to think. I don't know what to do."
She took a deep breath and slowly let go of her mother's hand.
"But then again, that's how many others feel, too, isn't it?" She smiled wistfully one final time. "If he were here, Sunny would tell me that I'm forgetting I'm human too."
Nephis stood up on shaky legs. "I'm afraid, but so are many others. I'm lost, but so are many others. My future is uncertain, but so is everyone else's."
She forced her trembling body under control. Steadied her voice. Commanded her heart to resume beating normally. Steeled her will in advance for whatever trial awaited her next.
"In the end, the only thing I can do is keep walking forward. Keep believing in myself. Keep fighting."
She stared at the sun and found it lacking in comparison to the flames burning inside her.
"After all, if that is my will… then who dares stop me?"
-------------------------------------------
Nephis stared down at the distant stars in the Sky Below, her mind lost in thought.
What was her source element?
Two and a half weeks ago, right before Ki Song's arrival, she had been right on the cusp of finding out. The answer had been on the tip of her tongue, ready to be delivered.
Ever since then, she had been trying to figure it out, thinking long and hard, but the answer wasn't any closer. If anything, she felt like the distance was widening.
Below, the stars kept shining brightly, unaware and uncaring of her plight.
And why would they care? The stars -the divine flames of the Sun God- had eradicated all of the Kingdom of Hope within their incandescent fury without fail.
Why would they care about her plight any more than they cared for that of the inhabitants of the fallen Kingdom?
Millions of lives, dreams, hopes, and desires. All gone within the blink of an eye. They had done no wrong, committed no crime worthy of such punishment, and yet they were gone. There was no resisting, no negotiating, no pleading. The Sun had decreed their end, and that was what happened.
That was the power of a God, the power that one day she too might wield. That she would wield. Her objective demanded strength like no other; anything short of the very peak would fall before the tyranny of the Spell.
One day, she would achieve it. One day, there would be no other mountain to climb, no challenge too hard to overcome, no situation that would force her to make a choice she would regret.
Nephis took a deep breath and forced herself to stop thinking about that.
The air up there was pure. So pure it still astounded her at times. NQSC -even in its most affluent districts- could not even come close to comparing.
Within the super-metropolis, no matter how well filtered, the air always carried a faint scent of something foul: fuel and smoke, decay that permeated everything but a rare few regions of the Waking World.
In stark contrast, every breath in the Ivory Tower felt fresh, invigorating, almost addictive.
She wasn't the sentimental kind. And yet, she could admit to herself that she would miss the Chained Isles.
Nephis looked down once more, spotting with ease the many floating landmasses, rising and falling at the behest of the crushing. It had been a home of sorts for almost two years now, a place she would visit every time she fell asleep.
Only now, as she was about to leave, did she realize that she had grown attached to it: attached to the views, to the vast sky above, stunningly blue and free, to the time spent traversing the great links with her cohort and Firekeepers, to the Sanctuary of Noctis, to Lady Tyris and her husband Master Roan, and to many other things that only now did she properly value.
She fought back the urge to exhale wistfully.
It would be another change in her life, another thing she would turn around and realize only existed in her past.
How many more things would she have to say goodbye to before it was done? Would she ever be done? Would she ever be satisfied?
Nephis could feel it deep within herself: the black ball of tar encasing her heart, the smoldering flame of hatred that, instead of abating, only ever seemed to grow hotter. Despite the cool breeze, she felt as if she were burning up, as if her skin would start boiling at any moment.
If there was something her flames could not burn with enough time, she had yet to find it. And yet, they could not even come close to matching the ones burning inside her.
At times, she wondered if they would ever go out. If the death of the Ghouls would satisfy them. If the undoing of the Spell would free her from the burning inferno threatening to consume her from the inside out. If she were ever to be free from the unquenchable thirst for revenge she felt at every waking moment.
Would it be enough? Would anything be enough? Or would she just find something else to hate? Something else to swear bloody revenge on?
Nephis felt her fists clench tightly, almost itching to be holding the hilt of a sword, to attack something, anything, or anyone. To do anything but fight the doubts evoked by her own mind.
Could she find it in herself to keep moving without the revenge that defined her very existence?
Could she look at herself in the mirror and find her eyes devoid of the immortal flames?
If she could, what then?
What would she do with herself once it was over?
What would be her new goal?
She had considered it many times in the past, back when she thought it would be easy, that she could carry out her revenge with barely any effort, close that episode of her life, and move on to new and more desirable dreams.
She had thought of many new goals: things she wanted to do, things she wanted to try, places to visit, mysteries to resolve, and knowledge to acquire. And yet, she couldn't remember any of them.
A self-deprecating smile tugged at her lips.
The Nephis of the past and the Nephis of the present were so different that they might as well be strangers to each other. All of those thoughts had been burned away by the flames of revenge and the pain of her flaw.
The truth was that she didn't know. She didn't know what she would do once it was all over. She didn't know if she would be satisfied once her revenge was complete. She didn't know if she could just put her sword down if the time ever arrived when it was no longer needed.
All of her life had been defined by one and only one thing:
Revenge.
If that was taken away from her, if that all-encompassing objective were fulfilled, she truly didn't know what she would do next.
What did she want to do?
Maybe take a rest? Go on a vacation, like the others had suggested many times?
Settle down and live a quiet, peaceful life? One in which danger became a foreign concept and her sword could rust in peace?
Maybe… build a family with a certain someone?
She felt the heat on her cheeks at that last thought. Sudden as it was, she could admit that she wouldn't mind making that one dream real. In fact, she wouldn't mind making any of them real.
They were all the things she wanted. Things she desired. Things she would gladly strive for even now if it weren't for her objective.
Sadly, they would have to wait. Her desire for revenge was too strong to share anything but the most minimal of spaces inside her heart.
Desire…
Desire. That was it.
Her source element was desire. It clicked into place with absolute certainty, slotting with the other pieces of the puzzle so seamlessly she could scarcely believe she hadn't realized it sooner.
All along, her life had been defined by her desire for revenge.
Nephis stared down once more at the incandescent stars in the Sky Below, burning still millennia after the fall of the Kingdom of Hope, the death of the Gods and the Daemons alike, the rise of the Spell, and the end of many others.
She knew very well where to find a source of desire.
-------------------------------------------
Nephis stepped out of the arch and kept walking without breaking her stride, even for a moment.
What had taken her days as an awakened, she could now do within minutes as a Master. It was a good example of how much she had improved, of the leaps and bounds her power had taken in such a short amount of time.
At this very moment, she couldn't have cared less about that fact.
She descended swiftly through the many floors of the pagoda, not even the room filled with the mad scribblings of the Demon of Choice managing to give her pause. One after another, her descent continued until at last she reached the ground floor.
Nephis stepped out of the building to be met with the darkness of the Sky Below, illuminated solely by what remained of the burning flames of the Sun God.
She stared up, and there they were, shining radiantly amidst the dark like stars in the void of space. Poets could have written tales of their splendor, bards composed grand songs, and painters depicted their beauty.
At that moment, her mind was solely focused on one thing: what they contained.
Sunny's words came back to her mind with perfect clarity. He had shared many things about the past upon returning, things that, once upon a time, were common knowledge but had now been lost. Among them, the one that stood above all was the tale of the flame of desire.
"Once, before the ticking of clocks or the drifting of stars, there was only the Void. It had no beginning and could know no end, for it existed beyond such notions. It was older than time and vaster than space, a paradox made manifest, a place that both was and was not, an endless expanse of silent contradiction. Within it churned a formless chaos, a boundless potential where all things that could be were waiting in slumber. This was the cradle of existence, the unseen womb from which reality itself would one day stir.
Then, in a moment that cannot be measured -for time was yet to be- something changed.
A flame was born. This flame was desire, pure, unbridled, and eternal. It was longing given form, the first hunger, the first yearning. Within it resided every wish that would ever be wished, every dream that would ever be dreamed, every ambition, fear, love, and grief that would one day define existence. Where the Void was absence, the flame was need.
The flame grew, fed not by fuel but by its own nature. It pulsed with purpose, though purpose itself had yet to be understood. And from this pulsing, this unbearable intensity of wanting, came division. The singular became many. From the flame were born the Gods, erupted into being as splinters of that primal desire.
Where they turned their attention, reality followed. Thought became substance, intention became law. They shaped the formless chaos into structure, carved meaning into emptiness, and wove existence from the raw fabric of the Void. Stars ignited, worlds took shape, and the delicate threads of life began to stretch across the newborn cosmos. And in all that they created, they planted the same spark that birthed them, their endless, unquenchable desire.
Thus, every being, from the humblest creature to the mightiest deity, carries within them a fragment of that first flame. It whispers in their hearts, drives their actions, and defines their existence. It is the reason mortals strive, the reason gods create, and the reason the universe itself continues to unfold.
For the flame still burns."
The tale had deeply resonated with her. Gave her much to think about.
But more importantly, it had given her the idea she was about to carry out now.
Standing above her were the flames of the Sun God. One among seven born directly from the Flame. A being so powerful that her mind couldn't even begin to fathom it. And stored inside those flames, one could find the desire of a God.
Before she could think twice, before doubts could arise, before fear could sink its claws into her, she activated her awakened ability, seizing control of the burning stars, and then, she pulled them down.
Within moments, she was swallowed by an ocean of fire.
For a single, merciful second, she held. Her body was accustomed to fire; she wielded it with her aspect and felt its tyrannical might on her own flesh every time she so much as summoned a spark. She held the bloodline of the Sun God, the very owner of the same flames that engulfed her now.
During that single second, her resistance held, and the torment was bearable. Then the second passed, and reality dissuaded her from the thought.
Nephis tried to scream but could not; the breath had been burned straight out of her lungs.
Fire. It was everywhere.
The Sky Below had disappeared. So had the Ebony Tower, the darkness, and the ground beneath her feet. The only thing that remained was the fire consuming her very being.
Skin bubbled under its assault and then became undone. Flesh charred and melted straight out of her bones. Bones glowed a bright white and then started melting too. Even her soul wasn't spared from the agony, splintering under the dispassionate might of the flames of a god.
Her own fire answered the challenge, mending her soul, bones, flesh, and skin as it had done countless times before. And yet, within the span of less than a second, her body became undone once more. The flames of the Nephilim, capable of destroying and mending, fought against the flames of a god. In one agonizing breath, her body was destroyed. In the next, it was restored.
The cycle repeated itself for what could have been seconds or what could have been all of eternity.
Amid the endless agony, her thoughts started blurring, their boundaries coming undone under the impossible heat.
Time passed by as she fought to find it.
Seconds bled into minutes, which bled into hours. At first, she thought that she might get used to the sensation. Believed that she might, if not resist, at least tolerate it.
Nephis was wrong. Oh, so painfully, unabatedly wrong.
Every second brought in a whole new level of agony. A fresh dose of pain that set her nerves alight with sheer agony before melting them away. Slowly chipping away at her humanity until nothing but a feeble spark was left. Threatening to come undone at any moment.
Then, just as it was about to happen, Nephis felt it, an idea, a sensation, pure and perfect, something beautiful and comforting. Desire. The overwhelming desire of the fire. There was no thought in the fire. Only want. So simple and unambiguous, she could easily determine what it was.
The flames wanted -no, desired- to burn. They desired to burn everyone and everything until nothing was left to burn. And even then, they would desire to burn nothingness itself, too.
As she endured the blazing hell, Sunny's words resonated in her mind, and she willed herself to remember them despite the self-inflicted suffering. She couldn't just surround herself with her source element. No, she also had to draw it in.
Her besieged mind struggled to follow the directions, the agony of her skin peeling away, of flesh melting under the pressure, of her own blood boiling her alive, of... No. Focus. Focus. She needed to focus.
With what little was left of her mind, she expanded her essence, coming into contact with the desire of the fire enveloping her, and started to pull it in. The agony worsened, as impossible as it felt.
She did not know where she started and where the fire ended. She did not even know if there had ever been a woman named Nephis or if she had always been just fire.
For every second that passed, the fire that might have once been named Nephis became stronger, vaster. Days passed, and her muscles held ten times the strength they once boasted, her bones were orders of magnitude tougher, and her essence had never been as vast and potent as it was now. And yet, as the body became stronger, the mind kept fading under the weight of the pain she endured.
Seconds or an eternity passed, and the fire realized that it wasn't becoming any stronger. No matter how much desire it pulled into its fiery embrace, it did not grow fiercer, nor did it become vaster.
Its limit had been reached, and no longer could it burn any brighter. There was something the fire had to do now, something that would complete what it had started.
The fire did not remember what it was before it burned. The fire did not remember anything but burning. The fire did not desire anything but to burn.
Yes, yes, it would burn. The fire would burn everything!
The fire felt relief coursing through its molten veins at the idea. Yes, it would burn away everything. Only then would its agony end.
And yet, why was there a thought nagging at the fire? Why was there a strand of memory that could not be burned away? Why did the fire not want to be the fire?
"Remember me."
To whom did that voice belong? Why wasn't it burned away under its radiance? Why wasn't the fire capable of remembering?
Why did the fire not desire to burn the owner of that voice?
And then, the fire remembered. The fire was not the fire; it was Nephis.
Nephis was not the fire, but all along she had been born to burn.
She was the Changing Star, a star that would bring salvation to those she held dear and ruin to those who dared oppose her.
That was her one and only vow.
Nephis felt it, a bridge, a connection between herself and the world starting to form. It heard her words, accepted her vow without judgment.
Something gave way inside her, and only then did she realize it. A chain enveloped her, as heavy as a mountain, holding her back, making her less than she should be, binding her down to the ground when she should be soaring free across the sky. With a simple tug of her will, the chain was broken, and her existence became more. Elevated to a whole new level of being.
[The Fourth Seal is Broken]
-------------------------------------------
"This was nice and all, but I think I should go to sleep."
Sunny smiled as the others asked him to stay, firmly but politely denying their requests. He stood up and started walking, aware of their gazes on his back. He walked briskly, quickly leaving behind the garden and entering the manor proper.
As he ascended the stairs, he did a quick balance.
Gloomy, accompanied by Haughty, Crazy, Naughty, Creepy, and Lazy, had just arrived at the Chained Isles and were traveling toward the Ivory Tower, where he would place another tether in preparation for the journey ahead.
Happy was with Rain, ensuring her safety.
Then there was he, walking toward his room. The moment the door closed behind him, he took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. Before it could start, he lay down on his bed.
Nowadays, he was smiling so much his jaw hurt.
His hands started shaking.
He was so full of joy, it felt like his heart would burst apart.
His breathing became ragged and uneven.
In comparison to the hell he had been living in not too long ago, he might as well be in heaven.
His eyes prickled, growing wet against his best efforts.
So why?
Why was it that he felt like he was breaking apart?
End of volume 2: Lost in Paradise.