I came up with a simple story to explain my past to the goblins. This was the perfect chance to deepen their loyalty, so I needed to make myself appear as powerful and majestic as possible in their eyes.
Or in other words… it was time for an author's ultimate skill—Bullshitology.
With a mental smirk, I went with a classic trope.
Many, many years ago, there was a mighty god named the Almighty Dragon God Drakastaragon—so powerful and so handsome that the other gods grew envious of him. Blinded by jealousy, they betrayed him and nearly killed him.
But Drakastaragon was not so easily defeated. Channeling the very last of his divine power, he escaped and fled into the mortal world, where he fell into a long, deep slumber.
And now… he had finally awakened. His power was slowly returning.
First, he built a magnificent magical castle. Then, with what strength he had regained, he began recruiting loyal followers and raising an army. One day, he would return and take revenge on the treacherous gods who had betrayed him.
(Hahaha… just your typical "big shot from the highest realm gets betrayed and falls into the lower realm" story—super popular in web novels lately…)
(But from the looks of it, these two are completely sold.)
They listened with bated breath, clutching each other's hands, their faces deadly serious as they stared up at my high ceiling.
And when the story ended—
"Damn other gods! How dare they betray Big Boss?!" Gopuro roared, fists clenched so tightly they trembled, eyes blazing with righteous fury.
"Unacceptable!" Gopuran shouted beside him, equally fired up. "Big Boss must take revenge! Must kill the bad gods who hurt you!"
"Well, I'm working on that," I replied smoothly. "I'm leveling you two up! Soon, you'll be strong! You'll be my generals!"
"Huh?" Gopuran froze mid-motion, blinking rapidly. "We…? Us?"
"Who else?" I chuckled. "Of course it's you two."
Gopuro gasped loudly. "Oooohhh!" His eyes widened like saucers, sparkling with awe. "That mean… we will be strong too?"
"Yeah," I said. "You stay loyal to me. You'll grow fast! You'll be strong enough to kill gods!"
"Hell yeahhh!!!"
Both of them thrust their fists into the air, shouting with explosive energy.
"Big Boss is the strongest! We trust you!!!" Gopuran cheered.
"Big Boss! Gopuro follow you to die!" Gopuro declared passionately, thumping his chest with a loud thud.
Well… I knew he meant, "I will follow you until my death." But Goblish had its limits, so that was what came out.
I let their excitement run its course before adding one last instruction: they were not to tell anyone else about my "origin" without my permission.
"I share story with you. You two my most trusted. Do not tell others. If enemy hear, they come find me."
Both goblins gasped sharply.
"Big Boss enemy? Gods?… Oh no!" Gopuro exclaimed.
"D-Don't worry, Big Boss!" Gopuran said. "We not tell anyone secret! We promise!"
"Alright. I trust you," I said.
And then, after their usual morning routines, they finally sat down for breakfast. I materialized steak, fresh bread, vegetables, and a bucket of milk to fill their bottomless stomachs. I even took the time to teach them how to make a proper steak sandwich.
The two were absolutely floored after their first bite. Their eyes sparkled with pure bliss as they spoke with full mouths, declaring it the best meal they had ever tasted.
***
After that first real conversation, I began seriously considering teaching them English. Once they acquired the skill, I could use [Lord's Blessing] to quickly turn them into fluent speakers by spending Points.
Because… yeah… while Goblish let me communicate with them, it made me sound like a freaking caveman.
But that wasn't even the biggest problem.
The real issue was that Goblish had no writing system at all. That meant any civilization built around it would struggle to develop properly. Recording knowledge, creating laws, preserving history, or advancing technology would all be incredibly difficult without a proper written language.
And that made me wonder…
What language do the humans in this world use?
*****
Thirty minutes later.
The two goblins had finished eating, their bellies full and their stamina fully restored. They were already brimming with energy, ready to get back to work.
"Big Boss, what we do today?" Gopuro asked, a wide grin spreading across his face, his eyes sparkling with excitement.
"You chop wood," I replied.
I had assumed that after several days of nonstop chopping, Gopuro would be getting bored of the repetitive task.
But nope.
"Alright! I love chopping trees!" he exclaimed, striking a dramatic muscle pose before eagerly grabbing his old axe.
(Damn! If this guy existed in the modern world, he'd be the perfect corporate slave!)
I was genuinely impressed by his attitude. With this kind of dedication, he more than deserved what I was about to give him.
"But before that, take this!"
With a thought, a brand-new weapon materialized out of thin air right in front of Gopuro.
A brand-new axe.
Gone was the crude bone tool. This one was made of proper metal. The sharp iron blade gleamed under the sunlight, reflecting a brilliant shine.
Shinggg!
Gopuro froze for half a second, completely stunned. Then—
"UWOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!"
He roared, snatching the axe with both hands as if it were the most precious treasure in the world.
"Big Boss! THIS IS SO COOL!"
"Haha," I chuckled. "Today, you chop wood with this new axe!"
"HELL YEAH!!!"
[Big Iron Axe]
Type: Weapon
Damage Type: Normal
Rarity: E
Description: A big, terrifying iron axe forged for heavy work and combat.
Effect: +5 ATK
Special Effect: Holder gains Skill: [Big Slash Lv. 1]
Big Slash:
Description: Channels energy from within oneself into the held weapon for one second, imbuing it with a small amount of mana. Then, unleashes a powerful, deadly slash that deals big damage!
Mana Cost per Slash: 10